Probable cancer diagnosis. Why don't I care?

[momtoboys]

Had a biopsy last week after something was found it a colonoscopy. Doctor is fairly certain it is cancer. I should be nervous or upset or something and I am truly not. I'm not in shock, I complete apathetic to it. My husband is way more concerned than I am. I must be very strange.

Anyone else feel this way?

I didn't react strongly to my diagnosis either. I'm both fatalistic and optimistic - what will be will be, and if worrying doesn't help, why worry ?
Plus things happened so quickly it was all a bit of a whirl and I'm not sure there was much time for things to really sink in. I'd also found the macmillan and bowel cancer websites and done a bit of reading up and so was fairly confident that it was going to be something that was most likely curable and relatively easily treated with surgery (as turned out to be the case).

I went through something similar recently turned out to be borderline but I felt similar - I think it was as it wasn’t a certainty yet

I'm glad things turned out well for you! Thanks for making me feel a little less mental.

I would think it’s a coping mechanism, and a stoicism in not worrying till you have to.

I agree it’s just your way of coping, you are not mental. There’s no one right way to do this.

Do you have friends / other family ( apart from your DH) to support you in case it does turn out to be bad news?

Did you go for regular smears ( every 3 years) before having this biopsy? If so it is very unlikely to actually be cancer. The whole point in screening is to catch it before anything happens

Why would a smear test have helped if she needed a colonoscopy?

I hope everything goes well for you, OP. I think the thought of a diagnosis can put you into shock, so take care of yourself.

Smears v colonoscopy? Is there a connection I don't know about? (Waiting for a colonoscopy and have always had my smears!)

Because, OP, you know that cancer is eminently treatable. And if it's not, then it's not. There are far worse illnesses to have.
And maybe you also are the type of person who believes that making a fuss about something doesn't improve the situation?
I have a friend with a recent cancer diagnosis, and her reaction was very like yours. I find it admirable.
I hope things go in whichever way suits you.

@Veronay It's a colonoscopy not a cervical examination

I think Veronay has read colposcopy instead of colonoscopy ?

Ah yes sorry, I misread it as colposcopy. Whatever happens OP, I hope it is really treatable, lots of things are these days. As for your lack of worry, it could be a rational response to not yet being certain or it could be that you're repressing your shock/worry. Either way, please take good care of yourself and reach out if you need to.

I am in the same boat, not a colonoscopy and a different type of cancer, but still, awaiting the results of a biopsy. Have scared myself silly looking at MacMillan etc but I read threads on MN from people who admit to having health anxiety and think, why am I not anxious? Then again, I lie awake at 3am, unable to sleep, and my credit card is taking a hammering 🙄May be our brains are trying to protect us, or may be we are just cool cats. Before I went in for the biopsy, I was reading my Kindle. The surgeon saw me and said "wow", I think he was a bit bemused that I wasn't sitting there quaking! Sending you best wishes and an unMumsnetty hug.

I felt as you do. I was diagnosed over three years ago now, and the process wasn't straightforward, but the worst of it was telling the family. I actually felt quite calm and matter of fact. Thankfully it was caught early and not particularly aggressive, so I'm
just on annual check ups now, but I don't really get stressed about them either. I think you should feel grateful to be on such an even keel!

you will be fine; whatever it is, always talk to a chaplain just in case

I think the thing about shock is that you don't realise you are in it. The purpose of shock is to protect the mind from being overwhelmed with whatever is shocking.

You probably are in shock. Really don't worry about why you are feeling like this and all the best.

That might help some people, but in my case it is the last thing on earth I would have wanted to do and any such conversation probably would have destroyed my calm and raised my blood pressure.

I did ensure that my affairs were in order (will already in place, listed bank accounts etc) and wrote letters to loved ones prior to going in for surgery, as it was a major operation and there was an (admittedly small) chance that I wouldn't wake up from it.

It is interesting how we react to such news. I had news back in the summer of a serious heart problem and I was surprised but not knocked off balance or anxious. What will be will be is how I look at it.

Good luck to all those with difficult diagnoses to contend with.

Thank you all for the encouragement.