New cancer pain

[4seasons]

I have ovarian cancer and am on the 2 week pathway. I’ve had ultrasounds and seen a Gynae consultant who says I will need surgery. I have an MRI and a CT scan this week. CT scan is for a guided needle biopsy of ascites. Over the last few days the pain in my left abdomen ( largest tumour ) has moved to my side at waist level. Shooting pains , feels very tender and hurts if I breathe in deeply. My question is … do I need to tell someone? Who ? Or do I wait until next Gynae appt ( no idea when this will be ) Pointless telling GP as I’ve been continuously misdiagnosed … IBS , UTI , diverticulitis etc. I’m not even convinced the practice is aware I have been diagnosed as none of my notes or appts appear on the GP app. Can anyone help ?

@ Enigma52,

A few years ago I posted on the general cancer thread with you and I just want to say I’m sorry you are so terrified. I know that it may be something you don’t feel like hearing as we can so often get it wrong even when we’re trying to get it right. But, if you are ever having trouble sleeping or you want to say just how you are feeling, anything, just know there is someone who’d listen to you if that would help.

I had a complete breakdown that had been a long time coming when I got my diagnosis and I’ll never forget how bad terror actually felt.

@Weepixie thankyou.

This is a whole level of terror.
The kind where the feat of a slow lingering death, feels very real, but where you still have to get out of bed, shower, get dressed, get in the car, drive to work and say " good morning" in a smiley way. That is hard!

fear*

@Enigma52
I can not imagine how difficult it must be to have to carry on doing the mundane things like getting into the car , going to work etc.and maintaining that “ normal “ front for other people. What mental strength that must take.
Last night for me was a difficult one … too much pain and discomfort to sleep… my bloating made me look pregnant and was constantly pushing on my bladder. I must have eventually fallen asleep for an hour or so … woke at 3am soaked in sweat and desperate for the loo ! Changed my nightie and was making a cup of tea downstairs at about 4 am. I’ve stopped worrying about lack of sleep but then I don’t have to go to work . How do you cope ? I wish there was something we could all do to ease your life.
It’s the little things that get to me … will I still be here to see the snowdrops next year ? When will I be well enough to travel to see my daughter again ? I appreciate I can’t live for ever but I’ve enjoyed my life and I want more !! I suspect we all do …. Hugs xx

@4seasons sorry last last night was difficult, I think when you are uncomfortable or in pain, it can ramp up the anxiety ten fold! I had this on Friday and it was scary.

How has today been for you?

Quite often now, I step into the garden, listening to the birdsong, watching the fat pigeons looking for food, staring at the sunset ( or sunrise) and just generally " absorbing" nature. I think the same " will I be here when...."

I work in a school and we are due an Ofsted. I don't care about them at all. Not interested. My focus is not ofsted.

Are you experiencing menopause symptoms @4seasons ?

We all want to live more, don't we?
My kids are 17 and 20. They need me.

It's seems that gynae related disease can often be misdiagnosed for IBS/diverticulitis etc. My sarcoma was. To be fair, it was a sneaky f**r and hid in a fibroid!! But, I did the FIT test, got given buscopan and peppermint capsules, you name it, I was prescribed it.

Hugs to you too x

@Enigma52
Oh I am well past the menopause .. early 70s!! So if the surgeons want to take my ovaries they are more than welcome to do so . I’d assumed the night sweats and regular nightie / sheet changes were due to the cancer , possibly hormonal as the tumours are on my ovaries? Who knows ? I certainly have no idea at this point. I never thought that I would “ want “ surgery but if they offered it to me tomorrow I’d be there .For me the fear is that it will have spread so much that surgery will be pointless. However , I’m trying not to go down that particular mental spiral.
Like you I find real solace in nature. Just sitting in the garden with a cup of tea ( with my coat on ) watching the birds arrive at the feeders does wonders. And when I’m up to it a slow 30 minute wander in a local nature reserve is the most brilliant thing in the world … even if it’s drizzling.
I too used to work in a school and experienced the OFSTED dread , something I was glad to leave behind . In your position I would think “ sod ‘em “ !! If they don’t think you’re good enough they can get some other mug to do the job … and good luck with that with the staff shortages.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other . Take pleasure and joy where you can and rest when you need to. All of us on this MN thread are thinking of you and wishing you the best. Xx

How are you 4seasons?