DGF diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer- life expectancy?

[Beeloux]

Hi all,
DF just rang me to tell me DGF (81) has just been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which has spread to his kidneys, neck, liver and lymph nodes. 😔Has anyone experienced similar with a loved one and how long did they survive?

DGF and DGM are due their 60 year wedding anniversary next month and they’ve been excited for it all year. His symptoms first started 6 months ago. For the last month he has been in very bad pain with his chest and lost a lot of weight.

Any experience appreciated. Feel so upset from the news 😞

My DFIL was 12 weeks from diagnosis to death. He fought like a trooper to stay.
Good luck.

The consultant said my 87 year old dad had a few weeks to a few months when he delivered the lung cancer diagnosis. He lasted less than 2 weeks. However he was already in hospital when he was given the diagnosis and very weak/unable to eat.

But everyone will be different. I hope your DGF has longer - if that's what he wants (my dad didn't and asked straight away if could be given something to see him off).

I'm so sorry - it's brutal.

Thank you both and very sorry to hear about your losses. Cancer has also been found in his thigh and when he was weighed today he’s lost over 3 stone 😔He’s been given morphine so hopefully it will help his pain. Feel horrendous for DGM too, her daughter (aunt) has been suffering with breast cancer for the last year.

Sorry to hear this.
I am in a similar situation with my dad. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which had spread to bones and lymph nodes in June and is still with us.
He had a few sessions of immunotherapy which almost killed him then when that was stopped he was given steroids and he's reasonably stable at the moment. They have perked him up a bit and he is able to eat a little which is nice to see.

Stage 4 unfortunately under a year. Have had experience of it- sorry OP. It's really shit.

💐 to all of you going through this. We had a very similar timescale to Portabella with my DF a few years ago.

Diagnosis in June, chemo/immunotherapy didn’t work and made him worse, had a horrid Christmas where we thought we’d lost him, then he perked up a bit once he’d stopped treatment and was on morphine. We were lucky enough to have some very lovely special moments together in Feb, then he was gone by late March. The doctors at the palliative care clinic said the rallying a bit was not uncommon, so hope you get something similar for next month.

Similar for my DM, and she was 3 weeks from diagnosis to death (although she had symptoms for at least 7 months before then, she was repeatedly misdiagnosed).
I think in general if you can see a visible deterioration, it probably won't ease, and could indicate they haven't got long.
Hope you have the help and support you need.

DGM had symptoms of lung and thyroid cancer for around 6-8 months, but by the time she was diagnosed with stage 4 she lived for 2 weeks.

Is he being kept in or can he go home? He might manage till their anniversary, but Christmas might be a more realistic goalpost if he can go home. If he's in hospital and they're keeping him in, it might not be as long as Christmas.

It can vary, so there's no real way of knowing. It's likely he'll slowly decline and they'll make him comfortable. His body will stop fighting and either an infection of the decline of his breathing will probably gently take him. He'll be kept comfortable, he won't know it x

Thanks all and so sorry for your losses. I hope we can enjoy his final moments and make it special for him. I feel awful as we thought he had a chest infection but he must have been in so much pain. I saw him last week and he was his happy cheery self. Himself and DGM are going on a trip at the weekend so I hope they have a wonderful time xx

A few months for my uncle who was only 65 at the time.

He was driving a few weeks before. Those last few weeks were sadly very brutal to my aunt and cousins.

I wish you and yours well x

The two people I knew diagnosed at stage 4 had 8-9 months but with all the recommended treatments, and really treating beyond their limit for the families.
They were late 60’s/early 70’s.
I really hope your DGF has some treatment options available to allow him to enjoy Christmas and his 60th Anniversary then make him as comfortable as possible in his last weeks/months.

My mun was diagnosed in June and died in August.

Just a couple of months for my family member too, with no treatment.

Sending best wishes to you and your family on your journey.

My dad was given 12 weeks but 2 days later he passed away it was like he just gave up once they told him , he said he needed a nap after the consultation and he didn’t wake up from it

My friend, 67, was diagnosed in July and passed away in October. She didn't have long at all.

My DM had breast cancer but had spread to liver which is what accelerated it. It was quick. They said to me that when you see deterioration over weeks then it's weeks to live. When you see deterioration in days then it's days to live. Sending hugs because this is terrible for you x

A lot of very sad experiences here, hopefully I can provide something more positive

My lovely mum was diagnosed is Feb 2022. A biopsy showed she had a specific mutation (hers known as non-smokers lung cancer) and she was able to take one daily pill which means her cancer didn’t progress until October this year. Push for a biopsy, you never know

Sending lots of love - it’s a difficult time.

Yes my mum got 11 weeks, was told possibly 2 years

Little bit different as my sister is 42 not in her 80s. When she was diagnosed she was given 3-6 months. We are now just over 12 months down the line and she's still going strong.

I would bring forward any plans, hoping that they get their weekend away but I would not make assumptions about next month. It's not easy to judge but it doesn't sound good

My Dad was told 18 months, but sadly we only got 9 months with him.
I hope your DGF and DGM get to celebrate their anniversary next month.🙏🏻🤞🏻

Hello OP, I am sorry to hear that. Both my parents died of lung cancer. My mom lived about 12 months after the diagnosis, while my dad only lived 9, but he refused chemo, so.. Problem with lung cancer is that it is most likely already spread when it is diagnosed.

My Dad was an extremely fit 78yo, he was diagnosed in July and died in the October, he had no treatment apart from steroids to give him an appetite. It turned out he also had bowel cancer and it that had spread also.
I wish your family well, its an awful time for everyone x

Thanks all and very sorry to hear about all of your losses.
I went to visit DGF yesterday and was shocked at how frail he looks and sounds compared to last week. His voice has went raspy and he could barely speak. He kept falling asleep in his chair. I don’t think he has long left sadly. DGM was saying the consultant said it was one of the most aggressive cases he has came across 😞

Hugs OP, it's awful isn't it