My father in law has been diagnosed with lung cancer, we don't know how bad it is or the stage as we are still waiting on tests, they found it on a CT scan.
He lives close to us, DH sibling lives 4 hours away.
His friends & support network are up here. DH and I have agreed to step up as carers for him, take him to appointments and be there for chemo/radiotherapy. The only issue we have is that we have disabled dc so can't constantly stay at his, he lives alone but in a bungalow so it's suitable for her needs. However we know we can access carers through macmillian when the time comes.
DH sibling works full time. She's demanding fil moves to her city which is expensive in rent and fil would also struggle to afford. Sibling doesn't have room for him to live with them. Sibling is saying she will visit him before & after work but can't get time off work to take her appointments in the day time where we can be around in the day. Also saying they can't get time off work to visit until next year, even though they don't work 7 days a week. Basically just causing problems.
It's causing a lot of problems and stress, FIL doesn't want to move either. Sibling also has in head worse case situation, which at the moment we have no idea what stage it is he could have a good prognosis but sibling won't accept that. I've told them I know of over seven people who have had cancer and some have survived, some went into remission etc but they are convinced FIL will be end of life.
What an earth do I do? I feel like piggy in the middle, I don't want to upset fil he doesn't need the stress on top of dealing with this shock. dh sibling won't talk to DH, and goes through me.