I have my scan next week

[Scaredandworried90]

I've had 2 operations to remove my cancer. Next week I'm having a repeat scan. This will be compared to my last scan to confirm spread. Spread was uncertain at the last scan.

I am scared shitless. I don't know if I can go through with it.

I don't want any of this medical necessities and I never asked for it.

Op I'm so sorry for your situation. I just didn't want to read and run as they say but I just wanted to offer you a vitual hug and a handhold. I'm sorry I don't know much about cancer or treatment but can imagine it must be so frightening and lonely to be in this oposition. Do you have any real life support?

@recklessgran thank you. I have my DH who will go with me. I don't want to go because I don't want to hear the outcome

Do you have anyone to talk to specifically in relation to the cancer? You know, like a MacMillan nurse? It sounds as though you need professional support and reassurance. Was the surgery meant to remove the cancer so the scan is to check they've got it all? Sorry for all the questions - I think there's a long running cancer support thread on mumsnet and you might get better support from there where there are lots of people who are going through the same thing?
Here's a link - I think this might at least make you feel less alone;
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/5143517-cancer-support-thread-95-no-googling-allowed?page=26
I'm still here if you want to chat though as I'm a bit of an insomniac and I also understand how much worse things seem at night.

Hugs, scanxiety is awful. Echo the PP, do you have a specialist nurse? If so, it may be worth a chat with them. Alternatively the Macmillan helpline will provide a listening ear, or I imagine there’ll be a support organisation for the cancer you have, could you get in contact with them? X

Hi,
Sending hugs, it is a horrible time and scanxiety can be debilitating.
I had breast cancer back in 2018 and know the feeling. I have just had an xray on my leg, which is very painful, post falling over on a dog walk, I had convinced myself it had fractured due to bone metastases. I was planning my funeral before finding my bone was normal and it is "just" a bad sprain or tear of ligaments/muscles.
The only advice I can give is to try not to think about it as it makes you worry much more, i struggle to follow my own advice though! Ironically once you know the results, you will get a plan for further treatment (if required) and you can then focus on that. It is the waiting and wondering that is the worst.
It is scary though and I totally understand why you wouldn't want to know more.
I hope they got clear margins and there is no spread xx

I can only imagine how overwhelming this must feel, especially with so much uncertainty around the upcoming scan. Facing a repeat scan after everything you’ve already been through is bound to stir up so many emotions. It’s completely normal to feel like you want to back away nobody ever wants to be in this situation.
Just remember, it’s okay to take things one day, or even one hour, at a time. There’s no right or wrong way to get through this. Maybe talking with your care team or finding support from others who understand can help take the edge off a little. You’re not alone, and whatever you’re feeling right now is valid.