The loneliness of waiting for biopsy results

[StartupRepair]

I was recalled after a routine mammogram, given further scans and ultrasound and sent to meet a surgeon who organised a biopsy in each breast. This all took about 10 days. (I'm in Australia). The surgeon was very clear that nothing is definite until the biopsy but both he and the radiologist have used words like suspicious and concerning.
Now waiting for biopsy results which may not be till early next week. I have of course told DH, our young adult DC and my sisters. And have just told my manager and my own team that I am having some tests and appointments.
I don't want to drag anyone else into the drama of waiting. But it is hard. Tomorrow is my oldest friend's birthday. Normally we would have a long chatty call. I feel as if I am going to have to fake it.
This weekend is also when I would go to my book group. Again, I don't want to tell them , but don't want to go and fake being ok. There are a couple of other things like this where it is easier not to go.

I didn't realise what a hard part of these few days this is. Feeling lonely as well as apprehensive.

This is the worst bit - the anticipation and the knowing but not knowing are awful. I locked myself in my office for two weeks until I had a breakdown in front of one of my staff! I did tell my husband. Things will feel clearer when you have the results and know what you are dealing with. Head over to the cancer support thread in general health - lots of lovely ladies there who get it. Xx

The waiting it awful. I had a recall and biopsy a couple of years ago. Even though it was prob not cancerous it was still a horrible week. I kept very busy and thankfully all was fine. I hope your results aren’t as bad as feared.,

The waiting is the worst. I coped with the cancer diagnosis, family history so I was fairly prepared, but everytime I had to wait for results I’d just hibernate.
in all fairness, no one can say the right thing and being snapped at for trying isn’t ok behaviour, so I just withdrew.

18 months of treatment, 18 years ago, and still here.

but I’m never one of those people who say don’t worry it’ll be fine. Because it might not be, and don’t be so bloody dismissive!!!

Time seems to stand still in these situations, while everyone else seems to dance on by, I know how awful it is, am at the beginning of ‘it’s probably nothing, but we would like to just check’. There’s no hard and fast rules to this, but just know that lots are also standing still with you, but my favourite quote is “if you’re going through hell, keep going”. It always helps me, I don’t look left, right or back, I keep my eye on the horizon and keep walking, it’s almost an avoidance thing for me, but it’s all I’ve got. I wish you all the luck op, keep ranting on here as well if needed, lots will support you, oh and stay off google!

Thank you all. I heard from the surgeon in the evening and it is indeed breast cancer and sounding on the serious side. I have a longer appointment today to go through all the options. In shock but am now able to reach out to friends and tell work.

Sorry for the bad news, My very best wishes for the future.
i like the quote “ if you’re going through hell , keep going” quoted above.

periodic wallowing is permitted and completely understandable

@user1499114292 I like that quote too. I shall remember this ( I'm another person with cancer).

Sending 💛

So sorry to hear this. I'm at the probs cancer/waiting for biopsy results stage.

Wishing you all the best for your forthcoming meeting and treatment xx

Very best of luck going forward.
Take a day at a time and all the support on offer. 🌼🌼🌺

I've been through this and my experience and after speaking to many other women is that they pretty much know when they look at the scans that it's cancer. They have to wait for the biopsy to plan but they are trying to prepare you.

Good luck. I just got my final discharge 5 years after my breast cancer. The treatment is unpleasant but outcomes are so much better than even 20 years ago. Join the cancer thread on here, it's a place you can discuss details and fears that you don't want to talk to family about. I remember an Australian woman on there when I was, the time difference didn't matter much because we were often awake in the night.

Thinking of you @spartanrunnergirl and @Enigma52
It has been quite a year. I lost my dear Mum less than 6 months ago and am of course still deep in that grief. Can't believe this is happening and I can't tell my Mum.
If you are going through hell keep going is a great saying.

I'm similar. Been for a scan, told it needs referring urgently. Waiting for referral. Trying to carry on but failing inside.

@StartupRepair so sorry to read of the passing of your DM; that must be hard to deal with in itself, let alone this shitty news 🌻

Definitely take a minute at a time to process what is happening. You will experience many different emotions over the coming days and weeks; allow yourself to feel what you feel.

Hugs 🤗
Sorry you are in this situation.
Hang on in there x

@StartupRepair I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. It is time like these we really want our mum around.

I like Winston Churchill "keep buggering on .."

X

@goingdownfighting the waiting is so hard while your mind goes through so many different scenarios.

Sorry for your update.
Keep posting on MN it is good to offload.

@StartupRepair I know. I'm getting through it using a mixture of denial and distraction to cope. Also binge eating Pringles.

Also booking a half term holiday. I figured if it's bad news I can cancel (I have insurance) or go on it anyway before the shit starts.

Try and keep positive.

Everything has now moved along and I will be having a double mastectomy probably next Friday. I'm sad and shocked but at least I know what's coming.

Oh gosh @StartupRepair you must be reeling, sorry to hear this. Sending love xxx

So sorry to read this, you must be absolutely reeling. At least we live in a country where we can get fast treatment when needed. I am in Sydney and was diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer three days after I woke up one morning with a sore red boob. My treatment plan was chemo (which started a week after diagnosis) then mastectomy then radiotherapy. Although the prognosis was a shocker I am five years cancer free this month so I am hoping that might give you some comfort. Where are you having your treatment? Ask if you can be put into contact with a MaGrath breast cancer nurse, they are a fantastic source of support.

@startup I'm so sorry. I don't know you but I'm sending hugs to you.

It must still have been a shock even though you had braced yourself.

Try and take some time to absorb it.

Take all the help and support you need.