Managing with husbands treatment with baby

[Ambn1]

DH was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks after our daughter was born. DD is now 15 months and I am back at work after maternity leave.

DH has had a range of treatments in that time including 3 surgeries and chemotherapy. He is now they believe cancer free according to his CT scans and tumour markers, but he still has a tumour growing in his back that needs to be removed. they cannot confirm the tumour is non cancerous until they remove it but fingers crossed that is what they believe they will find.

He is now having a further surgery called an RPLND. This is quite major surgery and he will be in hospital for up to 2 weeks and then will have a long recovery at home after. The doctor told him he would not be able to pick up our daughter for 3 months. He is really upset about this understandably and is worried about missing out on this time with her.

i am worried about how I am going to cope practically during this time while also working. Has anyone experienced anything similar and could give any advice?

He can still play with her, even if he can’t pick her up, best to find things he can do rather than worrying about things he can’t.

Hi @Ambn1, my DP was diagnosed with a brain tumour when our DC was 6 months old. He spent 2 months in hospital with multiple surgeries and although he's now home he is seriously limited in what he can do with the baby.

It is sad but he is trying to stay focused on what he can do. And that the treatment is to allow him to spend the coming years with your baby.

Take lots of photos and videos. And video call while your partner is an inpatient.

From a practical perspective:
Tell people. You'll be astonished at how many people want to help.
Make a list of practical things people can help with - batch cooking for the freezer, snacks, help with the baby, laundry, housework etc.
For friends who weren't local who wanted to help, I asked them to help research things (eg doing me a weaning meal plan)

Outsource as much help as you can afford.

Try to find an outlet for yourself. It won't be much but you need to keep your own battery charged.

You will get through it because you have to. But you will need people you trust to talk to so you can vent. People gave great advice on my thread.