Dad deteriorating so quickly

[FSteph]

We found out about a month ago that my dad has lung cancer that’s spread to his liver and brain as well as the second lung. When we initially got this news he was totally fine except some stroke like symptoms that urged us to take him to A+E. We are still awaiting full pathology from biopsy but in the 4 weeks since first being told about the cancer, my dad has completely changed. He is frail, thin, unable to support himself properly, struggling with basic activities like going to the toilet, dressing etc, and is sleeping almost all the time. He has slightly better days where he is dressed and can go out for say a meal, but they completely floor him.

he’s now saying he feels his time is running out. He’s also lost his appetite in the last few days which seems sudden as the steroids he was on were originally making him ravenous.

im so scared that the end is near and because we don’t even have a full diagnosis, we’re not linked up with macmillan or anyone yet. To be honest the care we have received has been terrible but at the moment I’m just worried that my dad might be dying imminently.

has anyone seen such a sudden decline? Can things get better from here or is that wishful thinking?

I am so sorry for the way in which you lost your dad. X hugs x

Aw I'm so sorry OP, how devastating, may he rest in peace. Sending you strength and love ❤️

My deepest condolences. 🩷

So sorry for your loss. The death of a parent is hard. For him though he had you all around him, he had chance to say goodbye. The next few weeks will be hard also.

My condolences OP. Sounds like such a challenging time for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your experiences with those of us who are on a similar trajectory with our parents.

So sorry for your loss. You must be devastated. I hope in time you find comfort that his suffering was not prolonged. X

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were all with him at the end and that his suffering is over. Look after yourself and each other x

Reported my previous post and so sorry for your loss

So very sorry for your loss. That is such a brutal way to lose a loved one. 💐

i can’t imagine how I’m ever supposed to feel okay or when thinking of him won’t ache. I’m so sorry so many of you know this pain.

It's so difficult for you

Sending love ❤️

However he suffered for such a short time which is wonderful for him

My Dad suffered for 11 months, 3 of those months really awful suffering (as you describe your Dad) and I'm grateful that he didn't suffer for a long long time. Some people suffer for years 🥺

He was so ill at the end that I couldn't have wanted him to live

Take each hour as it comes and breathe. You can do this

🥰

Let me know if there's anything I can do/say to help

So sorry OP. I lost my Dad 4 months ago, also very quickly and from cancer. I know how shocking it feels - take care x

I am so sorry. I lost my Dad to an aggressive cancer with very similar timings - he went from perfectly well to incredibly ill in a few weeks and then passed away. It's a huge shock for you all and I really feel for you. All I can say is that it gets easier with time and your memories of the particularly awful aspects will fade somewhat and the good memories of your Dad will come to the forefront again.

Take it one day at a time and keep chatting on Mumsnet about him for as long as it helps you 💐

I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad had a different type of cancer but his also spread to his brain and his decline and death happened shockingly fast. It was 5 weeks from diagnosis to death. It is very hard to get your head round. I’m ten years on and still sometimes feel the shock of it. But you will cope, because humans are resilient and we find strength to keep going. It is heartbreaking though- hold your mum and brothers close and allow yourself to go through all the feelings. Bereavement counselling really helped me and might help you but it’s early days yet- I think the recommendation is to wait for a few months before starting counselling. 💐

Deepest commiserations OP.

I know it's very hard, but it sounds like you, your brothers and mother handled this like trojans, and most importantly were there for him and each other all the way through.

I know it was quick, but we all have to go eventually and most would prefer it to be relatively quick rather than lingering for years with dementia etc.

You did your dad proud.

Oh darling - so sorry to read this. My dad died 3 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer. He was fit as a fiddle - running his last marathon 4 months prior. We didn't get to say goodbye - it was a lung embolism just instantly killed him. Horrendous disease and so cruel. Sending you love.

Sorry for your loss OP

I am so sorry for your loss. My dad similarly has lung cancer, and was admitted to hospital at end of Aug for low sodium. In that time, hes gone from being quite fit (despite the cancer) to now having ruined lungs (infection/inflammation/blood clot), a brain tumour, his heart is struggling and he's unable to really breathe. It's such a shocking and quick decline. Have just been told they don't think any treatment will work and they will likely move to keeping him comfortable over the weekend. I'm devastated. Am sending much love to you and your family, and to all those of you who have been affected by this cruel disease.