AIBU unreasonable to ask daughter to test for Covid before visiting?

[whathappenedtomyemptynest]

I'll try to keep it short, but after 6 months of chemo I had 8 hr surgery on Tuesday and came home on Friday.
My daughter and I generally have a great relationship.
Daughter said she didn't feel too well (headache, sore throat) whilst I was in hospital, but she said she'd keep her distance and she sat by the open window during visiting.
However when she has called round today, her DP stayed at home as he didn't feel well - sweaty, very tired, aching - feels like he's got flu....
She had planned to be at our house this week to help my DH out with my care - for which I am extremely grateful. However when I asked if her DP could take a Covid test, (if he's positive then she'll likely get it or maybe, has had it) all hell broke loose.
I must confess if I'd been thinking straight, I wouldn't have had her visiting me in hospital, but now that I'm slightly more 'compus mentis' I'm hesitant about bugs coming into the house, as I'm not out of the woods yet.
She left our house on very bad terms begrudgingly saying she'll test tomorrow rather than him.
Am I being unreasonable asking them to test, or her for making a real fuss about it?

I don't think your being In the slightest ott about it at all, you got to put your health and well being first especially after what you have been recently though, you could do without the set backs in your health, I think your daughters being a little unreasonable and she should understand its for you and your recovery. All the same I wish you a very speedy recovery and sending you warm hugs xx

Yanbu and I'm frankly surprised your dd hasn't offered.

YANBU.

What the hell is she thinking? Of course they should both test, and absolutely not visit if they are unwell with anything potentially infectious.

She shouldn’t be visiting if she’s not feeling well. No need to test then.

I don't think you really need to know exactly what they've got, they just need to stay away!

I think it’s quite usual to be aware you need to be very careful with low immune systems around people who have had chemo and surgery, I think you were totally right to ask and even if it’s a bug but not Covid they should keep their distance.

Hope you’re feeling better soon x

I think she shouldn’t be there whether it’s Covid or not. Covid isn’t the only illness she could pass on that would make you really ill.

Tests often don't show up positive until well after symptoms have shown, also if not done properly can be negative? Whether it's Covid, cold, or flu etc. I'd be asking everyone to stay away until 48 hours after any symptoms!! She could still be incubating whatever is causing her spouse to be ill. no idea why this would be an issue. I hope you get well and don't get any germs passed on to set you back.

Does it matter if it's COVID or a heavy cold or another type of flu? Surely she shouldn't be visiting with any of these things. So what use is a COVID test as it won't pick up other equally coldy/fluey bugs that you equally shouldn't be exposed to.

I'd ask her not to visit if either her or her DH are unwell, no need for a COVID test.

I agree with all others that you are 100% not being unreasonable. Also that whatever her or her partner's virus, even if just the common cold, they should be keeping away from you. xx

YADNBU.

The people around you should be actively limiting any chance of you picking up any bugs/viruses for the time being. Whether it be colds, flu, Covid, tummy bugs.

Your dd’s response is very odd. Perhaps it is an indication that she isn’t actually processing the seriousness of your situation.

Your health is the absolute priority here.

No need to test. Unwell, stay away. Negative
Covid and unwell stay away.

I wouldn’t have asked her to test but I would have asked her to stay away whilst she has illness in the family .

They shouldn't really be coming round anyway OP - even taking Covid out of the situation. I mean surely this fever type illness (whatever it is) is something that you really don't want to get. It could be dangerous for you.

Should she test for colds, flu, any other virus?

She should stay away if she's unwell; Covid is a red herring

Of course you're not being unreasonable! It's not exactly onerous to do a test! I hope you make a quick recovery from your surgery.

I agree with this. Whether it’s Covid or not it’s irrelevant - you don’t want to be catching anything!

As others have said, whether it's covid or sickness or the flu makes no odds, they have to stay away from you it you'll catch it too.

Like the days of covid they could stand outside at the window and speak via mobile phone to you. If they feel well enough.

Other flu bugs are just as bad or worse than covid currently is. She should of had the sense to keep away, especially visiting in hospital where many others are likely immunocompramised too. Being symptomatic of anything is more important to keep away than testing.

Thank you everyone for your replies.
Turns out he feels better this morning, but to allay my fears he has tested - and guess what - it's positive!!

Ive just finished my chemo about to have surgery. I caught covid last week and was hospitalised for 7 days

Please dont have her visit if she is unwell. It doesnt matter what she has you are immunosuppressed and any infection will have consequences

You weren't being unreasonable at all. My mum was on chemo on and off for a long time and I always tested before going to see her and called off if I was unwell at all. And it shows you were right to ask!

I think it’s a bit unreasonable only because even if it’s not covid it could still be flu or another nasty virus, covid is absolutely not the only virus to be concerned about catching so if her partner is unwell it seems sensible to keep away from them both until he’s better regardless of whether it’s Covid. Flu can be just as bad as covid so even if the test came back negative it doesn’t mean it would be fine to see them.