DP brain tumour. Where do we start?

[Pistachiochiochio]

Total shock - last week we thought DP might have started having migraines. Yesterday told he has a brain tumour, probably cancerous. Just been admitted to the neuro ward. I don't know what I'm looking for really, maybe a place to be able to listen and talk.

We have a 6mo baby and no family nearby.

Sending you lots of strength OP, I've been reading all your updates but haven't posted yet. You sound so pragmatic and organised. I'm so sorry you're both going through this 💐

I'm so sorry, OP. You'll be glad to get him home, I'm sure, and he'll be glad to be in his own bed again and able to see his son, too. You've both been through a really tough time. I hope he makes a great recovery.
[Edited for typo]

Oh gosh, what a nightmare for you.

Glad he is doing better though. Fingers crossed for you getting him home, what a relief that will be for you both xx

Hi all. He's now been home over a week. What a relief to have him out of hospital. He seems to have improved enormously for having fresh air and sunlight and fresh food and normal activities but wow is it full-on to have him in the same room as our crawling standing jumping baby (who has also been on antibiotics this week for a nasty infection). The transition to not needing to answer questions for him /feeling able to let him make his own decisions about his health (or eat junk if he wants to) is a hard one to make!

I feel so frazzled. My nipples have been gnawed to bits by the baby who now has a tooth. He was awake for 2 hours last night. DP has been doing what he can but bending and lifting really he shouldn't be doing so it's hard.

We've decided we need a nanny rather than nursery because otherwise the clusterf*ck of chemo and nursery germs over winter just as i go back to work is going to be unbearable. Hoping we can make the sums work.

I really just want 24 hours off. No baby no partner no well-wishers wanting health updates.

I feel like I should be researching different cancer treatments, different chemo pathways etc. But I read some stuff on red blood cells impacted by chemo and fell into a bit of a doom spiral about it.

I don't know how I feel barely less frazzled now that I no longer have to spend half my life at the hospital.

Just one step at a time.

You cannot do everything.

Can you get a relative to come and sit with both DP and baby whilst you go have a mooch/coffee/cake/nails done or just a walk around a local park?

I am glad that being at home is therapeutic. Please try not to think to far ahead or you will be overwhelmed .... one step at a time. Sending lots of good luck.

I have done just that @BellaVita ! Family are a few hundred miles away but a friend of DP and her husband came to see DP and mind DC. It's the most indulgent 3 hours I've had in 9 months.

@Pistachiochiochio that’s good 👏🏻 try and make it a regular outing.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. You mentioned that well wishers wanting updates is stressful, have you tried a WhatsApp group with replies switched off?

This is something I did for 6 months of serious illness this year. Add everyone, it's health updates only, you tell everyone, everything, once. I did have a family group that was separate and did allow replies on that one. It saved me a lot of time and complexity trying to keep up. If you have people in your life without smartphones, delegate updating them to someone on the group and you look after yourself xx