Just diagnosed, what next?

[LionMummyRoar]

Breast clinic today, two consultants certain it is cancer. Appointment Wednesday for results of biopsy. Terrified for what it might mean for my two infant school aged DC. Just didn't see this one coming. Obviously trying to keep it all as normal as possible for now, but at some point will have to tell them something, but what???
Trying to feel more in control by ordering cancer cookbooks, what else can I or should I be doing to prepare myself and my family for what is coming?

Please talk to Macmillan, not the internet. Ever, it will send you loopy.
Tell those you want to know. Tell them to stay schtum. At the moment, you will ce catastrophising (understandably), but you don't know if you actually do have an unwelcome visitor, let alone how big it is or what will be required to evict it.
Worrying until you get biopsy results will be pointless. Try to do stuff with your children.
When you get the results, the team will have a treatment plan in place; you can talk this through with them, ask questions and scream if you want!
I've been through this, as have others. It is not an automatic death sentence, but trust me, do not believe the woo-woo 'treatments', and forget about cancer cookbooks.
Breathe!

@SparklingPinot hear hear! I wasn't expecting a +ve biopsy, but the nurse specialist was very concerned that I didn't collapse in a sobbing heap!

Lots of great advice and really positive messages, so thank you, @dancingwhilstfacingthemusic , @Pippatpip ,@PaperbackWrighter , @Nat6999, @FinalInstructionstotheAudience , @Littlecaf (I think that's everyone?) so much for taking the time. And gosh- its amazing how many people are going throught this!
Certainly keeping busy- off on holiday today (will have to drive back for the results!), so will put down tea in a moment and get moving!
"Not heading to the winchester" made me laugh outloud @Rockschooldropout .
I think the cookbook is a way of trying to get some control?? I will certainly look into the sprays and I'm not above asking for some anti-anxiety meds if I need them.
Love the point about not managing other people's emotions- I get sucked into that all the time (don't we all, as women!!) But it's got to be about me and my main unit now.
Right DC2 is trying to fit a giant panda in his little backpack, and requires help to do the impossible, so I'm going to have to get up 😁.

Have a good hol and try to stay distracted. I had a couple of breaks post alert letter and then post biopsy. It wasn’t far from my mind but it kept me busy leading up to the next step.

Absolutely re others’ emotions. I’ve had “it’s really hard when my friend’s got cancer” and also from another “it’s really hard for me to have this conversation with (another friend)” when friend had asked if she could share news with a mutual. The answer to both was “try being me then”. My field of fucks is barren right now!

@Pippatpip I really second being wary of comments on chat forums on bc sites (I include Facebook groups in this) - I have been stung a good few times by this one already. However I'm finding Breast Cancer Now an invaluable resource (helpline mainly) if this might interest you @LionMummyRoar - I rang them the night before my diagnosis appt and then a few times after. They're amazing. They also have a phone service called Someone Like Me - they match you with a volunteer and I have my first chat with my match tomorrow night. Just had lunch with my older friend who had BC 21 years ago and she can't get over how much stuff is available that wasn't then. Thinking of you and only one more day now xxx

me too @SparklingPinot - so peed off with being called brave! It['s not bravery, it's just getting through it any way you can. Another one I had a lot before my op when I was in six-weeks-long limbo of further testing etc was 'stay positive'. Now I've had my op I get impression from a few ppl that they think it's all pretty much done now. 'Will you definitely still need radiotherapy' one of my besties asked? Err, yes.

"My field of fcks is barren"- ha!
Yes, I've also already been told how brave I am. Not sure what people are expecting- fainting? Screaming? Goodness knows I screamed and wailed silently so that my boys couldn't hear the night of the scan! But what can you do but carry on through it.
I should have called Macmillan last night, but as om holiday- I didn't have anywhere I felt like I could do it...so instead spent most of the night tossing and turning ans fretting. But I feel so much better after today-you were all right! Still waiting om full results of hormone feeding etc, but plan, Subject to those results, is to cut the fcker out before the end of the month. I can't wait.

Not sure what happened with my spelling and the italics there!
Anyway- thank you so much for all the support on these threads, in case anyone reads some of this whilst in my position a week ago- it has helped me to:

• understand I'm not alone- there is a whole community of women going through this and lots of options for support.

-get past the waiting- definitely the hardest bit and I hope everyone on this thread waiting for further results etc gets good news soon.

• Great advice re telling people (and not telling people!) too. I'm still thinking about how to tell people but it's becoming clearer and luckily no one tried to foist the terrible children's book on me 😂.

-also re aches and pains. I started to panic it had travelled to my lower stomach before I remembered I had just had my bikini line waxed and the lady was a little rough. I will laugh about that one day, but at the moment it's a reminder of how much my brain is in panic mode. I'm so grateful. And now I must sleep- the emotional roller coaster is so utterly exhausting!