How long?

[Hardingham291]

I know that no one can really give me an answer but I'd appreciate your opinions, even if it's bad

My mum has breast cancer. She was given 1-2 years in January. It has spread to her bones.

-She's currently in a lot of pain (pain team is trying hard to resolve this)

-No appetite, she's lost a lot of weight in the last 2 weeks.

-Diarrhoea

-ketones in blood

I just wish I knew how long she had left but she doesn't want to ask. I just want to mentally prepare myself.

Nobody can give you a definitive answer, OP. It depends on a dozen different factors. My Mum reached a similar stage and lasted about 3 weeks from that point - she needed pretty much constant care.

Sending you hugs, Op. I know it's hell. I hope you have a good support network around you.

Thankyou. I do, I've got a lovely husband, nice work colleagues and a couple of supportive friends so I'm doing OK in that department.

She doesn't need any formal care yet, my dad is looking after her and the house. She can still manage the stairs but struggles to get up off the sofa and can't get in and out of the bath anymore.

She's having an MRI again in 2 weeks so I'm guessing that'll tell us more.

I'm one of those people who want the facts, I want the knowledge, I want to know exactly where we're at with it. It's all so confusing.

Thanks so much for your reply. Much appreciated.

Would she mind if you spoke to her medical team? I work in the area and it's not uncommon for us to speak to relatives in this situation (with the patient's consent obviously).

Without knowing her history it's impossible for anyone on here to estimate her prognosis. Some women live with secondary breast cancer in the bones for many years, others far less. It sounds like your mum is fairly frail.

Take care

It would depend on treatment options and how her metastases stabilise in response to it. So as a previous poster said, you need to speak to her oncologist as its quite complex and individual.
Pain, should be managed better whatever length of time she has though, so maybe a review of her pain meds meantime.

It's not good to be taking so little nutrition that ketone are showing up in her urine.
Maybe supplement drinks and soups would be more manageable for her. If its the pain causing her low appetite, that needs getting on top of asap.