My dad is very ill

[Cattybombati]

In the last two weeks, I heard that my dad was sick - he lives in a different country and now he's been to hospital and we've been told he's got brain tumors, and they are looking for the primary tumor.

I am planning to go to home to help out and I am so freaked out by my reaction: I feel quite numb. Sort of slow and underwater, but not crying and wailing and gnashing teeth.

Am I disassociating?

You are in shock OP. I was very similar for months when my beloved gran died. It’s your body’s way of protecting you.
so so so sorry for you and your poor dad. Good for you for going to help him, but do remember to take care of yourself too. Caring takes it out of you

Thank you for your kind reply - I feel so emotional at celerities dying or people I barely know, and yet I am feeling very weird and detached, but I adore my dad. It doesn't make sense.

I feel your pain OP. I'll cry at an advert on the TV but have barely shed a tear over my mums diagnosis. I have this weird numbness then I'll get an adrenaline surge which feels almost like excitement. It's so odd.

It's shock. I think it took me about 4 years to take in my DF's cancer and death. It's just too big to process. You have to do it in very small chunks or you'd stop functioning altogether.

Be kind to yourself. Don't take on anything. Don't make any big decisions. Just spend as much time as you can with your loved ones. Big unmn hugs.xx

I'm sorry to hear your news.

i cry all the time, easily. I was crying today watch the trooping the colour when they played the anthem. Not even sure whether it was because in my mind it should be for the queen still or because Charles looked old& it's not fair when he's waited so long to be King.

but when the police knocked to tell me my Dad had died I was calm & didn't cry (supporting my Mum). I think it's shock & complete inability to take it in. 'Can't be real'

What you're doing is a big thing, Inhope all your plans go smoothly xx