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Cancer

Find advice & support if you or someone you know has been diagnosed with cancer

DH showing some signs of delirium, advanced metastatic bone cancer

44 replies

2Old2Tango · 22/05/2024 17:22

My DH has metastatic bone cancer. Primary was breast cancer which he had in 2020. The bone cancer was diagnosed in late 2022 and he receiving palliative care. The cancer is in his spine, ribs, pelvis, a little in his lungs and now an increasing amount of skin mets, including large lumps on his head and back. We know the lump on his head is affecting his nerves, causing some facial numbness and double vision in one eye.

Over the 19 months since diagnosis he has declined considerably. Extensive pain and weight loss. Doesn't eat much, very reduced mobility. Sleeps a LOT! Over the past few weeks he's been groaning a lot in his sleep and now he's started talking in his sleep as though he's talking to another person. Most is unintelligible but I've heard his say "want that" several times. When awake he is mostly alert and "with it".

Has anyone else experienced this delirium in a loved one with advanced cancer? I'm wondering if it's moving into his brain, but will speak with the doctor tomorrow when he visits. Interested in hearing other experiences.

OP posts:
sulkysally · 25/01/2025 13:34

@2Old2Tango Thank you for posting the update. I often wonder what happened after reading posts on here. I’m so very sorry this has happened. I do hope you’re finding some peace too x

backawayfatty1 · 25/01/2025 13:36

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

DebbyU · 25/01/2025 15:50

So very sorry-take good careof yourself

Zanatdy · 26/01/2025 23:15

So sorry to read this, and sorry for your loss. A good friend of mine was diagnosed with stage 4 Lung cancer 4wks ago, by the time it was detected it had already spread to her liver and brain. There’s a large tumour and a lot of inflammation on the brain and she is on steroids to help this. 2wks ago she started to have seizures too, so now on anti seizure meds. It looks like a hospice is next stage, this week as she is currently in hospital after 2 seizures a few days ago. She is very confused now, and getting worse each day. She had become almost child like in some ways, and I read this can happen. The nurses are struggling to monitor her and ensure she doesn’t leave the ward, as she is very wobbly on her feet now. It’s so hard to see my lovely friend decline like this, in such a short space of time.

GU24Mum · 27/01/2025 23:04

I'm really sorry to hear your update. I hope you have lots of support to help you. x

CJ0374 · 27/01/2025 23:13

Thank you for updating OP and I'm so very sorry for your loss Flowers
I do hope you have support when needed to offload, chat, cry, go for a walk etc xxx

Noi · 27/01/2025 23:15

🩷🫂

enidblythe · 27/01/2025 23:27

So very sorry for your loss, wishing you gentleness and comfort as you navigate life without him.

healthybychristmas · 27/01/2025 23:33

Thank you for updating. I am so sorry you lost your lovely husband. 💐

lizzyBennet08 · 27/01/2025 23:36

You're very kind to come back and post . I'm sure some other poor person may one day have a similar issues and be glad you took the time to post regardless of the news being poor at the time .

CoralHare · 27/01/2025 23:38

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s really kind of you to share your experience for the benefit of others. I hope you are able to find peace as well as your DH.

Bereftandalone · 27/01/2025 23:47

So sorry to OP and for anyone else who's experiencing this. It's such a cruel disease.

💐

Angrymum22 · 27/01/2025 23:54

Hypercalcaemia seems to be common in stage 4 cancers. We lost my younger sister to pancreatic cancer last year and she had delirium and hallucinations in the last few weeks. They did treat the hypercalcaemia with a drug but it was only to relieve symptoms. She was also on high dose codeine for the pain. Once they changed her onto a different opioid she was much better.
She resisted the painkillers for a while, she knew what was ahead, ourDM died of stage 4 bowel cancer so we knew what to expect.
What did help was a mild sedative to help with agitation.
The initial plan was chemo and possibly radio to try and shrink the tumours and give her a little more time but the cancer advanced so rapidly it just wasn’t an option.
She did rally for a week or so, but it was a group decision between her, the medical staff and us, her family not to treat anything. She had watched my DF die a very painful and distressing death because his pain wasn’t sufficiently managed, she asked for a peaceful dignified end. We respected her wishes throughout.
Maybe now is the time to sit down and talk about how he wants to proceed if you haven’t already done so. It can be a great relief for terminally ill patients when they know that their family are advocating for them all the way. Both my DSis and DM were much more relaxed after “the chat” and their last few weeks were about love and memories.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 28/01/2025 08:41

Yes, mestastasised breast cancer had gone to brain. The other sign was handwriting was all over the place.
Sorry you and hubby are in this situation.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 28/01/2025 08:44

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 28/01/2025 08:41

Yes, mestastasised breast cancer had gone to brain. The other sign was handwriting was all over the place.
Sorry you and hubby are in this situation.

Sorry Op, just read your update.
Sorry for your loss. RiP.

JackieQueen · 28/01/2025 09:23

So sorry for your loss 💞

BlondeMamaToBe · 28/01/2025 09:28

So sorry for your loss

sixtyandfabulousofcourse · 28/01/2025 09:35

sending my best wishes and a big hug to you.if you are having help from the hospice then please ask them to rule our UTI and sepsis

Clearinguptheclutter · 28/01/2025 09:36

Very sorry for your loss. I am pleased that he is at peace, I hope you are too.

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