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Cancer

Find advice & support if you or someone you know has been diagnosed with cancer

Is chemo always tough?

46 replies

peebles32 · 14/05/2024 16:54

My mother in law is about to have chemo pallitaxel and carboplatin. Besides this she is having immunotherapy alongside it before surgery for an aggressive lung tumour.
She think she will be ok after chemo and be able to carry on as normal and is refusing any help.
I am aware some people are ok but surely the majority aren't. She knows her hair will fall out and may be abit sick but she won't let me put any support in place. My brother in law has offered to stay with her and she won't let him.
So, I have little experience of cancer and chemo except a friend who found it tough and said it was horrendous.
Can anyone tell me what it is like the days after chemo and immunotherapy so I can plan in advance what might be needed?
She is so stubborn!

OP posts:
FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 15/05/2024 18:59

I think it’s the cisplatin that’s hard to take it’s a platinum one from memory and the other ones plant based.

Dh said it was harder than when he had teenage cancer and had mustine chemo which was mustard gas based and radio.

He didn’t lose hair either time he had cancer but he died the second time so I suppose he didn’t have time to.

peebles32 · 16/05/2024 16:43

Well the chemo was yesterday and she slept through most of it. Today she has woke up and straight on steroids and looks and feels fine. She just said she can smell it! It might be a few days before she feels ill.
Who knows!

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 17/05/2024 16:06

peebles32 · 16/05/2024 16:43

Well the chemo was yesterday and she slept through most of it. Today she has woke up and straight on steroids and looks and feels fine. She just said she can smell it! It might be a few days before she feels ill.
Who knows!

Glad she's ok. I was told that it has a cumulative effect but I was still fine all the way through. I very much hope she's the same.

ThePerfectDog · 17/05/2024 16:11

My dad had it and it was horrendous, he nearly died of sepsis and they had to stop it early because his fingers and toes went necrotic, he nearly lost them. He was also really sick, lost all taste etc.

What made the difference, in that it was caught early enough to stop further deterioration, was daily monitoring and recording of obs and contacting the hospital with any changes. So I would strongly recommend doing this.

saraclara · 17/05/2024 16:13

Chemo 'cocktails' are so different from each other, that we can only help you if we've had, or nursed someone taking, the exact same drugs.

My late husband's chemo (oxaliplatin and capecitibine) wasn't too bad at all. No nausea, no sickness, just tiredness from around day 5 to day 8, and neuropathy in his feet.

There's a lot of scaremongering around chemo, and it bugs me a lot. Yes, some regimens are pretty awful, but others are pretty manageable. My husband's oncologist was able to tell him in some detail what his would be like, even down to the day. Presumably your mum's has done the same?

saraclara · 17/05/2024 16:15

elevens24 · 15/05/2024 16:12

I think it must vary between people. I know people who found it very tough but also another person who worked the whole way through their treatment, with just time off to have the treatment.

No, it varies between regimens.

I'd hate anyone to think that it's somehow a failing of a patient who suffers badly with their particular regimen of drugs.

Meadowfinch · 17/05/2024 16:25

I had three rounds of chemo for BC.

I wasn't sick or nauseous but unfortunately I had an allergic reaction to the drug, which is not rare.

The first infusion I collapsed and had to stop, flush through, pump me full of antihistamine and then try again, very slowly. Once home, it just made me a bit tired.

The second dose was infused OK, but I then had a severe allergic reaction to my own perspiration, as it came out of my pores. That was tough.

The third dose, I was better able to manage because I knew what to expect, but the effect is cumulative and by then I was feeling pretty awful.

The oncologist refused to give me the 4th dose because I was experiencing such a bad reaction, he was concerned it wasn't safe.

I think everyone reacts differently. She will need to adjust as she goes, listen to the advice the oncologist gives her, and be prepared for feeling fairly rough and needing to rest.

I wish her well.

Maddy70 · 17/05/2024 16:55

Im on that combo and feel generally fine! I'm currently away for a long weekend abroad between sessions and have just walked 10k . Feel a bit more tired and get achy legs but apart from that except for hair loss life is normal not had any nausea or anything horrible

Bigminnie1 · 17/05/2024 16:58

It affects everyone differently. I had chemo and immunotherapy last year and was pretty much ok throughout. The thing that was the worst part was my immunity being down and I was hospitalised three times for a week each time with infections.
Hopefully, once she has it and if she's struggling, she will accept help.

Bigminnie1 · 17/05/2024 16:59

I was 51 when I had it so a good bit younger .

MangoBiscuit · 19/05/2024 14:46

I'm not long out of chemo, I also started on pacitaxel and carboplatin, but doseage dense, so both on week one, then just paxi for weeks 2 and 3, then start over.

I was tired straight after having it, would get home, and fall asleep on the sofa for most of the day. So I got in the habit of taking a decent picnic or big salad with me to eat during treatment, rather than snacks. Helped with the steroid hunger, and meant I'd eaten properly.

To start with, I didn't really look or feel any different. Two weeks in, to the day, and my hair started coming out. One week later, I'd had enough and clippered the rest off. The roots can get quite sensitive while it's shedding, so keeping it long can be uncomfortable. I kept my eyelashes and eyebrows on carbotax, but I did lose them after epirubicin and cyclophosphamide.

As I progressed through the treatment cycles, my fatigue built up. I had to nap for an hour around 2pm so I could get through the rest of the day. Keeping moving, like a daily walk, and having naps when you need does seem to really help with this. I also had a few issues with neuropathy, and eventually lost feeling in both feet, so had to skip a week of treatment. But the feeling came back during that week.

I have managed to keep working throughout, but I'm lucky that I wfh, and used my lunch break to nap. I'm in my 40s, and I wouldn't say I found carbotax brutal, but the effects built up slowly, wearing me down, so I was very glad to finish.

Feellikeaweeble · 19/05/2024 23:42

My mam is in hospice care with less than 4 weeks to live due a very aggressive form of cancer.

About 4 weeks ago she has become close with a man she had known for years, he was a friend of my dad’s who passed away last summer. She is adamant that nothing romantically has ever happened with him in the past and I believe her.

She says he’s just a friend but he says he’s her boyfriend. I think she found him entertaining and a distraction at first but she has frequently said he is too full on and she feels smothered by him but she won’t tell him to go away.

Now that she’s in the hospice he expects to see her every day and is staying for 2 hrs each visit. Her own siblings are not visiting that much as they’ve said this time should be for mam and her children to spend time together before the end.

Ive tried talking to her but she says he’s harmless but then complains he smothering her to the point she pretends she’s asleep to get rid of him.

It’s really upsetting my brother and it’s annoying me. I don’t know what to do. I have visions of her being on her death bed and him refusing to leave her side or at her funeral and he’s wanting to be in the funeral car!

what would you do??

thanks

TheFormidableMrsC · 19/05/2024 23:54

Feellikeaweeble · 19/05/2024 23:42

My mam is in hospice care with less than 4 weeks to live due a very aggressive form of cancer.

About 4 weeks ago she has become close with a man she had known for years, he was a friend of my dad’s who passed away last summer. She is adamant that nothing romantically has ever happened with him in the past and I believe her.

She says he’s just a friend but he says he’s her boyfriend. I think she found him entertaining and a distraction at first but she has frequently said he is too full on and she feels smothered by him but she won’t tell him to go away.

Now that she’s in the hospice he expects to see her every day and is staying for 2 hrs each visit. Her own siblings are not visiting that much as they’ve said this time should be for mam and her children to spend time together before the end.

Ive tried talking to her but she says he’s harmless but then complains he smothering her to the point she pretends she’s asleep to get rid of him.

It’s really upsetting my brother and it’s annoying me. I don’t know what to do. I have visions of her being on her death bed and him refusing to leave her side or at her funeral and he’s wanting to be in the funeral car!

what would you do??

thanks

You need to start your own thread.

Feellikeaweeble · 19/05/2024 23:57

So sorry. Thought that’s what I’d done and now I can’t figure out how to delete this 😕

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/05/2024 00:25

Feellikeaweeble · 19/05/2024 23:57

So sorry. Thought that’s what I’d done and now I can’t figure out how to delete this 😕

@MNHQ can you help this poster? She needs her own thread 🙂

Feellikeaweeble · 20/05/2024 00:32

I’ve figured out how to start a new thread but can’t delete my reply on this thread.

original poster - apologies for putting this on your thread.

Notthatcatagain · 20/05/2024 00:53

I had 3 week cycles, the first couple were OK, just felt a bit ropey for a few days then OK. Each cycle got progressively harder so I started off with just a few bad days then 2 weeks good. By the 5th cycle it was mostly bad with just a few good days at the end. I was booked for 8 cycles but the Oncologist decided that my blood results weren't good enough to have any more after 6, I was very glad. Your mum may well change her mind about having some help as time goes on, she may need some meals making although I wasn't very interested in food, piece of chicken, a few chips and a small salad was what I pretty much lived on. Jelly babies and crisps, toast, cornflakes, sandwiches. Simple stuff really. The nurses recommended Lucozade Sport which did seem to pick me up a bit. I did no shopping or housework for pretty much the duration, spent a lot of time dozing in front of daytime TV

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/05/2024 13:58

Feellikeaweeble · 20/05/2024 00:32

I’ve figured out how to start a new thread but can’t delete my reply on this thread.

original poster - apologies for putting this on your thread.

Don't worry about it! I just didn't want your question to be lost when there were better places to put it! Honestly don't worry, it happens all the time 🙂

peebles32 · 20/05/2024 15:08

Well spoke too soon and now the steroids have worn off she has gone downhill.
Looks grey and constantly sleeping. Aching bones and generally feeling shit.
Long road ahead but it's one we got a go down. Thanks for all your replies and good luck to everyone going through the same.

OP posts:
greengreyblue · 20/05/2024 19:12

That’s normal after steroids stop. Takes up to a week to feel ok then a period of ok before it all starts again. Good luck to you all.

OttersAreMySpiritAnimal · 20/05/2024 19:19

2 aunts. 1 was fine, in fact thrived during her chemo. The other most definitely didn't, felt sick the entire time, couldn't eat and was mostly bedridden.
1 friend had a psychotic episode, was hospitalised for a week and had to stop before being switched to a different drug.
I've read some information that fasting the day before can really help.

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