MIL pancreatic cancer, need to offload

[Cartrucktractor]

Just offloading here because I don't want to add to my husband's worries.

MIL just officially diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Had Whipple and was suspected, but has been confirmed now. Drs got all of it they could see but she is going to have chemo.

There's no point to my threat or questions. I just feel sad, mainly for my husband and two kids. She's only 61. Even if it hasn't spread, I know that survival rates are pretty low. Husband and family seem in denial and are cheerily thinking it will be done and dusted after a few rounds of chemo, but when I visited her alone, it all came out, she's scared and doesn't want to worry them. They don't know if it's in the lymph nodes yet.

Ah. I just feel sad. It's all just been such a shock.

so sorry.
Your poor MIL might like to speak to one of the cancer nurses for support -there is a phone number here and a chat forum here and information here.
I totally understand the family being in denial, it’s hard to accept your loved one may die early, I hope the chemo works well and MIL is able to find some support.

I suspect they do know but want to sound positive for her and you.

I know it's not a "good" cancer but if yours had the surgery, she's already in a better position as most are diagnosed too late, grounds for some optimism. Once the lymph nodes are checked you'll have a better idea of prognosis, but perhaps live for now anyway, none of us know what around the corner. Direct her to support but also make memories and enjoy life now

I am so very sorry to hear this, my friend had pancreatic cancer, she was 52. It's just evil! All I can suggest is to get as much support for all of you. Macmillan were brilliant. Make as many memories as you can .

Very sorry for your troubles. My wonderful MIL had this awful cancer and I can still remember googling what to expect after she’d told us…

Prognosis is not good although sounds as though she still has some treatment options. My dear MIL was only with us for a matter of weeks after diagnosis so you are right to be so worried. All you can do is support them all as it will be very hard. I wish you all the best.

DH was 55 when he had a Whipple procedure then chemo, they discovered a tumour in his liver as they closed him up after the surgery and he had cancer in 13 of the 19 lymph nodes they removed. The surgery gave him an extra 18 months of good quality life which I know isn't massive but it was 18 months more than lots of people get. His cancer turned out to be cholangiocarcinoma (which has even lower 5 year survival rates that PC) once they biopsies came back after surgery and if lockdown hadn't held up his diagnosis and treatment I strongly suspect he would've had longer as the PET scan 12 weeks before surgery showed no spread. I want to say, yes, PC is brutal but it isn't always a death sentence and there are stories of hope out there. I wish your MIL well, I hope she is one of the luckier ones.