Terrified I have cancer, it's all I can think about

[Killerqueenie]

About a month ago I had a really bad cold. I had awful sinusitis and it went into my chest as well. Since then I have been having an ache in my upper left chest, above my breast and over toward my armpit. I have recently started getting pains in my shoulder and down my arm as well. My breathing is fine. It doesn't hurt to take in a deep breath, I'm not breathless and even when I move around it's not painful. But I can just be sitting still when these pains happen. It doesn't feel muscular, but it's coming from inside somewhere. When I was feeling my chest the other day, I felt a couple of really small pea sized lumps, not in my armpit but just at the top of my breast near my armpit. I had a GP appointment yesterday who has referred me for an urgent breast clinic appointment due to my age (32). She couldn't say what it was that she was feeling but said that the clinic will do scans and should be able to say what they are.

I have been googling which I know I shouldn't do but I have such bad health anxiety that I just need some answers. I have so many thoughts running through my mind. Could it be breast cancer, what if it's lymphoma? I have been getting random pains in my liver for months now which I didn't think to much of as my bloods were all ok but now I'm worried that it's all linked. I read up on other symptoms such as night sweats and thought "well I don't get night sweats and I haven't lost any weight so maybe I'm ok" but lo and behold last night I woke up multiple times soaked in sweat.

I have 2 young children (4 & 2). They are away this morning and all I've done is cry.

Sorry it's long, I just wanted to write it all down as I'm too scared to tell my husband how much I'm worrying as he is a big worrier too.

I know it's difficult but try not to worry. I have my own health issues and an impending serious spinal surgery. Nothing in this world could make me google it as I'd terrify myself.

You have to put faith in your medical professionals. You've done the right thing getting checked, until they give you the results, try to not focus on it (easier said than done I know).

As you are now, you're fine and this may well be nothing to worry about at all.

Google is not your friend. Inevitably it will make you feel ten times worse and the night sweats could even have come on purely because you've talked yourself into having them.

If you can't talk to your husband, have you a friend or family member you can talk to?

Don't borrow tomorrows worries today is a good saying. Hopefully you'll be able to look back on this stressful time and wonder why you got so het up about it.

If your bloods were fine I'd bet good money you don't have lymphoma. Statistically, at and your age, these lumps are more likely than not to be something benign. Of course it's normal to worry until you get the scan results.

also I'm sure the sweating was linked to anxiety. If you had lymphoma you'd likely have had night sweats for a while - not just the night you read up on symptoms and felt really anxious.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. That is a great saying. I need to try and reassure myself that all will be OK and this is probably mostly down to anxiety. A few years ago I worried about something so much that I made myself sick for weeks over and it turned out to be nothing so I need to try and remember that. It's just so hard now that I have kids, they are my whole world and it hurts me so much to think that one day (hopefully a long long way down the line) I won't be here anymore for them.

I hope your surgery goes well and that you have a great recovery. ♥️

You're absolutely right. It's more than likely just the anxiety that caused the night sweats.

It was a few months ago that I had bloods done, I haven't had any done recently but if my scan goes well I'll ask to have more bloods done just to check everything again and give me reassurance.

It's quite ironic really, I'm a nurse and am constantly trying to reassure patients and tell them all the time to stay away from Google, but here I am myself doing it 🤦‍♀️

Hi OP. I’m also waiting to go to the breast clinic next week following an urgent referral from my GP (I’m 37) as I have a painful and lumpy breast and a strong family history of BC. I do understand your anxiety but I think you need to stay away from Google- it’s what I’m trying to do although I know it’s easier said than done! I hope you get your appointment soon and all is well

I'm sorry to hear you're going through something similar. At least there's not long to wait for your appointment. I haven't got a date through yet to be seen, but hopefully I don't have to wait long.

I've no family history of BC and I breastfed both of my children for nearly 2 years each, which I know helps reduce the risk, but I suppose having breast tissue is a risk in itself. I'm worrying more about other cancers that could have spread without even knowing. Hope all goes well with your appointment and you get some reassurance.

Hello sorry to hear you are going through this, the not knowing and waiting is the worst bit I think. I am 29, found a lump in my breast last year unfortunately it was cancer. I was convinced that it had spread to the rest of my body due to 'aches and pains' but I just made myself sick with worry. Scans came back all clear. Had surgery to remove lump. Although it has come back again I am having further surgery. Try not to worry too much. Majority of these things come back as benign, but even if it is cancer it is so treatable and there are so many options. As everyone keeps telling me, 'positive mental attitude' is the most important thing. Wish you all the best for some good news and reassurance.

Just wondering how you are getting on op?

I’ve been to the breast clinic twice on the referral pathway. It’s likely to be nothing or something harmless. It’s hard not to worry though

Hi op I’ve had breast lumps a few times in my life and it’s terrifying. I had to have an operation when I was just a young teen and I told no one.
luckily benign.
then I had small pea size lumps up towards the edge of breast to armpit and was scanned and fortunately also benign. I’ve had other lumps too. And also a scary mammogram which needed to be repeated. Also fine.

to be honest I totally understand the health anxiety and when you have children it’s particularly hard to stop worrying.

im actually too afraid to have a mammogram and am very overdue one- probably a few years over. But I’m so scared of them too.

anyway I’m just telling you this because I know how you feel. It’s all you can think about.

i hope that everything works out well for you and the lumps are just one of many things that come and go. I remember one nurse at the marsden telling me that the breast is constantly changing and if you were to scan constantly you would see so many changes in the breast even just during a month. So it really can be so many things.

I definitely have health anxiety too and I loved the saying someone said to you above- don’t borrow tomorrow’s troubles. That’s really good to remember!

I truly hope you get seen quickly and that you are in good health

You’re so brave and you’ve actually been through this- and going through this now and you’re still so loving and reassuring to others. You’re so kind. I hope you make a full recovery very soon.

I'm still waiting to hear from the breast clinic unfortunately. That's been nearly 4 weeks since I was referred. However some things have improved, I no longer have the ache in my upper chest so I'm thinking that was muscular which has given me great relief from the constant worrying. I can still feel the tiny lump though. If I don't hear soon then I'm going to try and go to the private clinic.

Thank you for your reply. Yes, it's so hard not to worry, but thankfully, some of my aches and pains have subsided, which has given me reassurance. I still have the tiny pea sized lump in the same area that you mentioned at the top edge of my breast near my armpit. I haven't heard from the breast clinic yet. It's shocking that as an urgent referral, I still haven't heard nearly 4 weeks later, but I'm thinking I might look into going to a private clinic.

I had to go private last year for an gynaecologist ultrasound. I had a cancer scare and was supposed to be seen in 2 weeks for biopsies. I wasn’t.
as a nurse can you not get a consultant to see you really quickly at work?
I paid 500 for private appointment and ultrasound scan. I then was referred back to nhs under cancer pathway. This was supposed to be 2 weeks maximum but it was not within the timeframe. Fortunately I had a benign result on biopsy but I’m on the waiting list for a hysterectomy. Apparently this is a years wait.