I have been debating for a while posting. I'm not one to normally share my struggles. But after a while of sitting back and reading I feel its the right thing to do.
I have 13 month old identical female twins. I love them to pieces. I breastfed them for 11 months. The only reason I stopped I feel was snatched away from me when I was unfortunately diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. ( a very , aggressive breast cancer) i am 29 for some more info to my story and this I find to this day a real psychological struggle. I was sent through the staging process. CT scans, MRI. they found a lump on my liver , which luckily came back benign. I've now had my surgery to remove the lump. But there's still a long road ahead. I.e chemo etc, awaiting results from surgery. If theres a clear margin or spread to lymph nodes. me and my partner have had it quite tough. We had to live with MIL when the twins were born which I'm so grateful for but didn't come without its struggles and only just got housed 3 weeks ago, literally the week I had my surgery. I've found becoming a mother to twins with minimal support ( I only have my dad from my side) very tough. A breastfeeding journey of twins, which I was so stubborn with and glad because they are thriving. I am now emotionally struggling, I feel I have lost the bond with my girls in a sense. Although they have just hit so many milestones, almost walking, chatting away basically growing into beautiful toddlers. Just been housed in the most perfect house we could have asked for. Yet I'm finding it so difficult because I'm stressed about cancer etc I feel bad for my partner too because he never asked for this. Yet being amazing and supportive I may add. I was just hoping for some supportive words I guess. Pretty shitty and bitter sweet being in this situation I guess. Not that I'm not grateful for my beautiful girls and new house. I think I'm just scared of having it all ripped away from me and leaving them behind. I'm sure anybody with twins can relate to the difficulty of raising twins alone without the added stress of cancer, family struggles etc. I guess I'm just looking for some kind words to help me through this extremely difficult time. Thank you x