I’m not sure how to feel. It’s a long one x

[Foreverboymumma]

a deep breath as I write this.
i haven’t spoken or had a relationship with my mum for the past 10 years.
7 weeks ago she was diagnosed with leukaemia, today she asked to see me. I got there, she passed away.
my brother (who has lived with her) I think is trying to scare me and basically tell me we are all at risk. I have raging health anxiety and he’s scared me terribly to the point I’ve been sick.
please can somebody put my mind at rest x

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the feelings of anxiety you have been left with. I can't put your mind at rest because I'm not an oncologist and know nothing about risk factors for leukaemia, so perhaps make an appointment with your GP to have that conversation. Science has advanced so much in the last few years I know there is genetic sequencing for more and more cancers.

Do you have someone with you tonight? What do you need do you think? Distraction? To talk about your mum? I appreciate there must be so much complexity to your feelings...

I really would think that on Monday make GP appointment as you need to talk this over with someone who can give you the right directions .

When a family member dies of xyz it is quite normal to worry a bit.

You can't change any hereditary risk, other than by living healthily in general and being mindful of warning signs, but you can help yourself with your feelings of grief and health anxiety. Focus on soothing your emotions as much as possible.

Sorry for your loss OP. You can discuss with GP your concerns.

Would it help to type on here?

Samaritans are very good if you need to work through some of your emotions. They provide a non judgemental listening ear x

Thankyou for your replies, being frantically looking online for answers just until I can speak to my gp which could be weeks.
I have major health anxiety so I have real panic in me.
I don’t know how I’m feeling, I’m with my husband and children so I’m not alone, I wish what happened didn’t happen 10 years ago, we wasn’t so stubborn I’m sad this was hello and goodbye all in a few hours. ❤️ Thankyou for your kind words x

Google "Macmillan cancer support" OP, they have a great website that you can browse through and a cancer support helpline you can ring. They're lovely people (at least the ones I've dealt with have been). They'll have the answers you need. Sorry for your loss.

What sort of leukaemia did she have?

With the timelines you give, it suggests one of the acute ones, and they aren't hereditary.

I've got to assume your mother was at least 20 years older than you so even if you potentially have the same thing it's not urgent and lots of things can change in 20 years.

Thankyou for your replies. My mum 59 and I’m 30.
she did have a very agressive leukaemia yes, caught within a couple of weeks of having it and chemo failed.
Thankyou for your replies x

The Blood Cancer UK helpline may be able to help you - not open Sundays though

Blood cancer information and support by phone and email | Blood Cancer UK

or try Leukaemia Care UK

Support and information - Leukaemia Care

Both organisations support families as well as patients, and will be able to signpost reliable sources of information.

The treatments for blood cancers have improved enormously in the last couple of decades. As I said before, the acute leukaemia are not hereditary, but in the first shock it might be hard to believe that. If information helps alleviate your anxiety, learning the symptoms might help you, as then if you ever get them, you will know to go to your GP straight away, and caught early most leukaemias are now very treatable

Leukemia symptoms and signs | Blood Cancer UK

Mm dunno. My mum died of Leukaemia too. Late 60s though. I didn’t kkkw it was hereditary.

Do you have Maggie's cancer centre near you ? Google and find out . You can walk in anytime and ask for someone to speak to or just go for a coffee the first time . You don't need to make an appointment .

Hello and firstly sorry for your loss. I’m diagnosed with a blood cancer and one of the things I am concerned about is passing it on to my DC. As its been explained to me the gene mutations that drive the disease in most cases are not hereditary. Having said that, there do seem to be familial trends but doctors don’t know yet what causes that - whether it’s another gene or exposure to the same environmental factors. As others have suggested talk to your GP or one of the helplines as either MacMillan or Blood cancer UK may also be able to provide some assurance. Ultimately though keep an eye on your own health and talk to your GP if any concern about any of the typical symptoms (fatigue, recurrent infections that are difficult to shift, easy bruising, unexpected weight loss).

I have a type of sarcoma that comes from a genetic defect. That means, broadly, that it should run in my family. My parents never had it, and none of their siblings or grandparents did either as far as I know. My siblings don't have it, and we are all in our fifth and sixth decade of life. Back to your late mother, there is some research pointing to a role of heredity in blood cancers. That doesn't mean that because one relative has the diagnosis, another is certain to get it. It is just a risk. It just means you should be aware of the symptoms of the disease and seek medical help if you ever suspect a problem. I have the sort of cancer that is prone to coming back time and time again. It is firmly rooted in dodgy DNA, and a chromosome disorder called neurofibromatosis in my case. I am definitely not going to be hypervigilant about symptoms because I am going to focus on making the most of my time. I believe that recurrence of sarcoma will be largely out of my control, and all I can do is seek medical help if this occurs. You may find it helpful to seek out a qualified counsellor who can help you to cope with the anxiety.