Breast cancer diagnosis today - handhold any advice for a bra?

[Creepygardengnome]

I was diagnosed with breast cancer today, grade 3 invasive, HR-, HER2+. It's aggressive, and I'm getting more tests to determine staging. It looks like some lymph nodes are involved at least so I'm terrified it's already stage IV. I just turned 36, I have 2 young kids, my husband is a mess...

I will probably receive chemo and herceptin as a first line treatment, but will obviously have to wait until all the test results are in.

I keep touching the cancerous lump and wondering whether it's grown over the last couple weeks. I feel like it has – unless there is still swelling from the biopsy, but that's 2.5 weeks ago, so seems unlikely.

This may sound very silly, but at this point, I would really love to stop myself from constantly touching/feeling the lump (which is close to the surface), so I would like to ask if anyone knows of a bra that makes it impossible to feel the lump (for instance, one with a particularly thick or stiff padding).

Sorry if this is ridiculous.

Oh Bless you, those intrusive thoughts are so horrible… and I can appreciate that urge to touch it… and the desire not to.
What about a T-shirt bra? Or even treating yourself to a nice necklace to fiddle with as an alternative?
Is there a local Maggies centre where you could go for some support? The waiting and not knowing period is sooo stressful and my only advice is to try to take one day at a time and don’t “borrow troubles” as my old granny would say… you will exhaust yourself trying to imagine all the possible scenarios and then when you face the one you’re going to face, all the worry before doesn’t REALLY prepare you anyway. Does that make sense? Mindfulness, a gratitude diary, finding small joys in every day, using the kids as distractions… all of these things help…

Much love to you.

That sounds really really tough. I wish you all the very best in your recovery. 💐

Thank you both <3
And @fourelementary a t-shirt bra sounds like a good idea.

I've had contact with Maggie's before through work, so will have a look what centre is nearby.

Oh you poor thing. When I was diagnosed I had the opposite issue, I couldn't bring myself to touch the lump (or check the swollen lymph node under my arm) once i knew it was cancer. (I did eventually and I found it comforting during chemo as I could feel it shrinking a bit after a few weeks.) So I had a different reaction but I totally recognise the strength of feeling around the lump being there. Not ridiculous at all!

A tshirt bra is a good idea or a sports bra with some padding might work too. Just to add, I think the bruising and swelling after a biopsy can last ages.

@fourelementary has given some excellent advice above.

Sending love and strength x

Op. Hope you're feeling well. I'm on the dreaded 2 week wait at moment and I stuck a breast pad in my bra to stop me poking the lump. It wasn't sore before hit it is now from all the poking I think!

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I have a similar experience and also newly diagnosed. Just found out last Wednesday. My head is all over the place. Two young kids and not yet 40. It's so weird to be referred to as young in this instance. The not knowing is playing on my mind and I keep spiralling and it comes back to me in waves. Trying to keep positive even though I more neutral to neggy! Lol. Sending you good vibes and peaceful thoughts

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight
If you feel up to it, join us in the thread joined wants to be on x

Sports bra with padding would be good, I would avoid underwire. It will also stop your breasts moving so you don't feel/notice them as much.

Hope your treatment goes well. It's a scary time, I've been there. Just take a day at a time. I found painting by numbers really soothing and it made time pass really quickly when I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I'm fully recovered now.