OK all you seasoned campers. How old was your FIRST child when they started actually going out of the tent and playing with other children?

[Bumblingbovine]

The reason I ask is that we have just come back from a camping trip to the IOW (our first ever and ds (an only child and 5.8 years old) resolutely refused to play outside the tent on his own for the first 3 days.

If dh and I were sat outside the tent, ds would just hang around us getting slightly bored and asking us to play with him or just sat and fidgeted/waited for us to play with him. If we were in the tent he would play around (sometimes very boisterously and inconveniently!)inside the tent.

DS did a bit of playing on his own outside towards the end of the week but none at all with other children. By on his own I mean with us around but not actually participating in the play.

The reason we camped was that I wanted a more outdoor type of holiday and had visions of ds running about with other children while dh and I relaxed a bit outside. I'm not really a camper sort of person but I thought ds would love it.

We did have lovely holiday but tbh it would have been just as good if we had stayed in a caravan.

DS is generally a sociable child and I could tell that (in the later part of the week anyway) he would have probably like to play with the other children but somehow it just didn't happen.

There were lots of children in tents near us and I could see that some had met there and ended up playing a lot with each other near the tents. I did see other younger or the same age children making friends but they did generally seem to be tagging along with an older sibling so is ds just a bit young yet for this or how could I have helped him to make friends?

Since DS could walk it has been impossible to keep him in the tent unless he is asleep, he always just gravitates to other children.

To be fair though we are only ever at the campsite in the morning and then at night to have supper and sleep, we don;t hang around the campsite during the day.

I think as long as your DS is happy you shouldn't worry about whether or not he wants to play with other children. I remember when I was a child my idea of a nightmare was playing with other children I hardly knew, I was more of a loner type.

I don't think your DS is a bit young for camping.

What does he do at home? Does he get on with playing and entertainging himslef or dod?

Does he have friends over to play? Does he make friends with other children at the park or play alone?

Is he an outdoor child on the whole or does he prefer to be indoors?

Did you leave the campsite and go for walks/adventuresetc. in the countryside? Did he like that?

Maybe you could arrange camping with another family who's children he gets on with and who's parents you get on with?

I never played with other children on holiday. I was shy and it would have been my idea of hell, starting up a conversation with a stranger.

DS seems to be the same

Sorry that second sentence was meant to read:

Does he get on weith playing and entertaining himself or require interaction and input from you and his dad at home?

Pffft me too. I'm still like that and nevee bother talking to other campers unless I have to.

me neither OMDb - I hardly talk to the neighbours, let alone campers!

was there a play area in the campsite, or fallen tree or stream or other focus? Mine (3 and 4) met other children at the play area.

I think it depends sometimes on how the site is set up. Last week we were in a big field with tents round the edge and big space in the middle, and there wasn't a playground area, so all the children were kind of forced to just play in the middle of the field and eventually all just got on with it.

Previous sites where there have been lines of tents and roads with play areas a walk away the dds have been more reluctant to crack on (they're 4 & 6).

I really go for the benign neglect format of parenting when camping and try to make myself as dull and unavailable as possible, thus forcing the dds through sheer boredom to bugger off make friends. My mother was just the same.

I do washing up area chat and "nice morning" or "terrible rain last night eh?" convos.

I would say that DD was 8 when she first started making friends on her own. When she was 5 or 6 I would have to eye up a suitable victim and drag DD along behind me and say "hello, this is DD, she's 5/6, what's your name and would you like to play 'cos DD would love to". Pick another only child as they will be keen to make a friend and their parents will be grateful.

Push 'em on someone else at the beginning of the week and then put your feet up and enjoy the wine.

Dd1 was 3, my parents took her to Portsmouth in their motorhome to give me a break as I was pg with dd2. A little girl of 5 came and called for her and they played out with their prams and babies for the rest of the weekend.

Ds is just 4, and he was happy to go off to the play area and find people this weekend. But we could see it from the tent, so not sure if that helped.

This ties in with another thread! ds was born in February, and in the August he was being raced round the campsite in his three wheel pushchair by hordes of assorted children. he had a bsll!

Thanks all. I just posted and ran as had to do something so have just come back

To answer some of the questions:

When ds was a bit younger he would always gravitate to other children and just play. In the last year or so he seems a lot shyer for some reason.

I have actually given up taking him to the park much as he expects me to play with him when we are there and if I don't he sits next to me which sort of defeats the object of taking him to the park!. The annoying thing is that I've usually taken him to the park to burn off the masses of excess energy he seems to exhibit at home!

At home he will sometimes play alone but not very often. He usually is bugging me or his dad to play or following us around.

On holiday we were out and about pretty much every day so I am really only talking about the mornings before we got going and the early evenings. To be fair ds loved the holiday and seemed to enjoy it a lot. I also enjoyed spending time with him but I would have liked him to spend just a bit of time with other children.

He does have friends home to play etc but I suppose I was just hoping for a small taste of the 'oh he's over there playing" feeling for dh and I. We get so little of it usually

Thanks stripeyknickes. I think I might try that next time. I think he does want to play but is struggling a bit to make the first move.

Thankso everyone else for the advice. I think the camp set-up probably didn't help . The play area was a long way from the tent and the tents were pitched in rows so no central or focussed area for the children to be forced together in
Next time I will bear that in mind when I book a site and also aim to overcome my shyness and see if I can encourage a friedship.

Overall we liked the holiday though and we will try camping again I think

With DS3 we first had to send out search parties at about 3, (he was having a snack in his new friend of half an hour's caravan, said friend being still out playing). DSs1 and 2 are shy and still tend to hang out with us although DS2 has been introduced to other kids by his much, 8 years, younger brother.

Last year DS was 4 and made friends with about 3 boys who were all brothers/cousins of each other and were about 8-10 years old, so they loved calling for him and 'looking after him'. It prob helped that he took a load of toy swords so they all played swordfighting in the woods. Plus we chatted to the parents and had a beer together so I think DS felt ok to copy what we were doing.

Not sure what he'll be like this year, after a year
of lots of people at school all day he might prefer
to be on his own more- maybe this is true
of your DS?