Does anybody want to know what happened when we went on our first camping trip with our brand new £30 from pond buster TENT?

[QuintessentialShadows]

Well, do you?

yes please. do tell.

fire away

You came back pregnant?

yes.

Was it not everything you had hoped for, and more?

Tell.

ooh me! me!

wtf is pond buster? is it like Dambusters?

Or do we have to guess?

I think I might go for, out of the four poles listed in the instructions, only three were present in the bag.

Or, you farted in the night and it blew away over the hilltops.

I've seen you on another thread, so I have my suspicions.

(sorry, the local cheapo pound shop)

We decided to stop here after our 3 days at the rorbu camping (fishing hut on poles in the sea) for a night in the tent prior to taking the ferry home.

We pitched. We sort of unpacked. The wind picked up. The fog was rolling in.

Being a novice tenter, having had campervan before, I freaked when I saw the kitchen, which was the filthiest two hob burner in the world. I had forgotten tin opener. I discovered that my dhs camping pot was the size of a mug, and would have to cook my planned dinner (of tinned meatballs in sauce) in 4 installments of 20 minutes each.
I had told him, if we want to bbq hotdogs on a bonfire, we need to stop at the petrol station to buy the sausages. We forgot. So we had no food, and no way to cook it. So DH decided to cycle to the shop.

MEANWHILE it started raining. The kids were happy on the trampoline, and the swings, while I was freezing my butt of in 12 degrees, wind rain and fog....

What do you think happened when DH came back??

There was no door, so you had to crawl commando style under the fly sheet every time you wanted to get in?

That campsite looks great!

Um, the tent caught fire.

No food the shop had shut

I had a long rant at him about the state of the tent, about not really wanting to go camping in foul weather, and I never want to go camping again without a campervan, and he can take his silly green fluorescent tent and stick it up where the sun dont shine...

I am a camping failure. Sob.

he came back with a packet of cigars and a new tshirt but no food?
campsite looks fab.

But you did camp? If so, camping success! Having a huge grump is a vital part of the camping experience

At least you hadnt spent a fortune on the tent

Ummmm, not exactly right snowleopard.

The sun dont shine in the boot of our car....

Oh Dear? What was wrong with the tent apart from the colour? Is this the tent from the crazy tunnel cycling trip?

Sorry.

Oh Dear.
full stop

Yup, we were tenting for a total of 4 hours.

It is not the tent from the crazy tunnel cycling trip. This is the replacement as he did not manage to purchase a tent.

But I still blame the tent.

It was too small. Too green. Too cheap. Too little air inside it.

So, now dh is asking "What tent shall I pick up on my next trip to London (he is leaving tomorrow) which will be PERFECT for us".

what do I do??

Oh, um. Well don't put camping on your list of 'Things I'm never going to do again, ever. Not even if you pay me' yet.

fwiw DH and I camped around Oz for 2 months in a stupid shitting little plastic 1 and a half man tent. Some nights it was all I could do to hold myself back from stabbing DH through the nostrils with a tent peg.

And we still like camping.

I think you need a bigger tent maybe, and perhaps in a soothing beige colour?

LMAO at "soothing beige". Soothing beige will not stop the silent swearing that goes on when people camp that shouldn't really be camping - like my DH. He HATES it. I love it. We are destined to holiday separately I feel.

I also like the idea of soothing beige.

Can you recommend a tent big enough for 4 people, light weight, quick and easy to put up, can withstand artic climate, and me..... And not cost the earth...