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Original poster

"intimacy" in a family tent....???

31 replies

morphthecat · 30/04/2011 18:24

Genuine question,I have namechanged. Please don't think I am a troll.

DP and I are both seasoned campers. We are both divorced and both camped with previous partners and our children.However, neither of us had particularly close/happy times when married and also our children were tiny back then,IYSWIM.(Well,certainly in my case) So,we have no previous experience of feeling we were missing out.

We have just had a very happy week away with our children,everyone got on very well and it was loads of fun.We have 6 dc between us,aged between 16 and 8 and took 2 6 person tents,all the older dc were in one,dp and youngest 2 in the other.

We all sat up round the fire and went to bed at the same time,and as soon as anyone started moving around in the morning,everyone was awake and chatting.Plus the "walls" are obviously not soundproof. Any movement from us,and someone would call out,or look in.

We don't live together,but this is not a problem when we stay over with each other,as the dc are in bed before us,or know to knock/leave us alone if door locked on a Sunday morning,for example.

Seriously,how does anyone have a sex life when camping? Or do we have to accept that family camping holidays are "family" and not "grown-up" time?

OP posts:
Original poster
morphthecat · 30/04/2011 18:25

Whoops,that should be dp,me and youngest 2 in other tent!

OP posts:
HalleluiaScot · 30/04/2011 18:26

Can't you hold back for a week or two?

PonceyMcPonce · 30/04/2011 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peeriebear · 30/04/2011 18:28

We just don't do it if we're camping with the kids.

tiredemma · 30/04/2011 18:31

I like to leave my chores at home when I am on holiday Wink

Original poster
morphthecat · 30/04/2011 18:57

Well,yes,it seems impossible,so no choice anyway.And of course,it is lovely ,family time.
Just seems a shame to have a two week holiday without any chance at all.
Maybe it's because we don't live together and private time is limited anyway.

OP posts:
tiredemma · 30/04/2011 19:04

Or choose campsites which are a bit backward in time and have limited facilites (like unisex showers- locked away behind a door etc)

There is a campsite in teh peak district a bit like this, I cant remember the name but know it had a 'rustic' sauna that no-one used- My friend and her DH were in their all the time at it like rabbits.

Original poster
morphthecat · 30/04/2011 19:08

Smile thank you, tiredemma Smile now that's the kind of solution that wouldn't have occurred to me....good idea Grin

OP posts:
tiredemma · 30/04/2011 19:10

google 'unisex showers campsites'- theres quite a few reviews that come up which give the names of various campsites with mixed showers (they tend to be more secure and enclosed also- better privacy!!!)

Would make it a bit more naughty and fun i would have thought Wink

Original poster
morphthecat · 30/04/2011 19:28

Ha ha ! that's such a good idea,well done!

Definitely more naughty and fun - and not something the teenagers would be able to know/be horrified about (as they are if we even peck on the cheek !)

So glad to hear of a solution - I thought there must be other campers who manage it ,maybe this is how Wink

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 30/04/2011 19:31

We have done most of our camping in France but given the age of your DCs I offer up the following:

  • Get in the habit of sending all DCs off on an errand together every day. Explain to the oldest that this is their chore in that they are going to be in charge. You can use the time this creates however you want but I think this fosters independance in the DCs.

  • Kids clubs for younger DCs plus tell the older ones that you and your DP need some private time. French campsites are strangely quiet when the kids clubs are in operation!

  • Treat any private time as a bonus, if you get the chance you have won one of life's lotteries.

  • Be quiet!

whomovedmychocolate · 30/04/2011 19:31

Isn't this what haybarns are for? Confused

bigTillyMint · 30/04/2011 19:35

It's never been a problem for us Wink

We have an extra-large tent for this purpose - kids at one end, us at other. When they are asleep......

PandaG · 30/04/2011 19:36

just be very quiet! our DC are a little younger and usually go to bed before us, but yes tent walls very thin! Is perfectly possible (on our choice of bedding at least) to be almost silent. Second the unisex showers suggestion too! Blush

tiredemma · 30/04/2011 19:37

I remember camping in the south west and we were (unfortunately) located right by a very noisy sex couple. each night (for three nights) she omitted sounds that im sure only dogs could really hear, high pitched shrieking etc. My friend finally got pissed off with it and shouted 'stop showing off!"

Deaddei · 30/04/2011 19:39

I might go camping just to avoid sex.Smile

ENormaSnob · 30/04/2011 19:43

Ball gag?

bigTillyMint · 30/04/2011 19:45

No, no , no Deaddei, it works the other way round. Well in our tent, anywaySmile

Original poster
morphthecat · 30/04/2011 20:10

Yes, bigTillyMint - the enforced restriction had the opposite effect on us,too!

Another thing,with the cold April nights,we were holding on overnight until our bladders were bursting,so very early in the morning was out,as once either of us surfaced to wee,the dc were up and bouncing.

Any comments on airbeds - quiet, or not?

OP posts:
Original poster
morphthecat · 30/04/2011 20:13

I did actually wonder if the best solution would be to get a camper van - for just us to sleep in,with the dc in the tents. But getting a van that could carry 8 would be difficult,and besides,we like tents.

Also,we had been thinking of getting a bell tent.

But I guess that would be a total killer of possibilities?

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 30/04/2011 20:32

I wouldnt go for a bell tent given the ages of your DCs. Not just for your sake but also for theirs. The older ones will be wanting some privacy of their own.

Original poster
morphthecat · 30/04/2011 20:51

Yes,I see what you mean. I can see us having to get another tent for that reason,so that the older ones can have more space.

I guess that would mean a smaller one for me and dp.

More privacy - but 3 pitches for us all to camp?!!

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 30/04/2011 21:33

DH said that with a camper van you would need to pump up the suspension (imagine the van rocking too and fro plus lights going on and off!)

How about going for one of the pod type tents for all the DCs plus a separate tent for you and DP? There are a few 4 bedroom tents around.

It isnt just camping that can be a problem. DH has just reminded me of a gite holiday we had years ago where we had DC in the room plus DB & DM very close by. Absolutely no chance of anything. Eventually one night DC was babysat by by DB & DM while DH and I went out for dinner. We had a very hasty dinner then ended up on the beach!

Needanewname · 03/05/2011 12:49

Just be quiet!!!!

Our Dcs still young so sparko at night but we managed it (in a bell tent with no inner too!)

I like the idea of sending them off on errands, teaches them that stuff has to be done too.

Fennel · 03/05/2011 14:07

Put the dc in a little tent. When we were 10+ we much preferred a separate tent to sharing with our parents, and my dc are around that age now and begging for tent privacy.
You just have to check out the campsites that charge by person not by tent to make sure you aren't paying double.