Oh Lordy, what have I got myself into?

[Tomatefarcie]

Dp and I decided to buy a tent and go camping with our DCs.

So far so good.

I was chatting to a mate (A) about it, she said "oh when are you going?", so I said "Xth ThatMonth", she replied: "oh great, we'll come with you!".

Errr....before I could say anything, she had rang the campsite and booked themselves in, quoting my name to be put next to us.

She considers herself a friend of mine, more than I do her, iyswim.

Anyway, another mate (B) said to me today that A invited her to camp with us. I had no idea!! She added that A had told her it's alright for them to stay in our tent, as it's a "really big" tent and it's "only" 5 of us.

WTF??? I stuttered that I had no idea, that it's our first camping trip and bought a big tent as we didn't know how it would all go with baby etc. A load of bollocks really as I was so embarrassed and surprised. What really wanted to come out of my mouth was a long ol' rant a la Mrs Taylor.

WHat do I do now? I don't want to upset anyone, our kids have got a few more years at school together, and these people are so excited about it all! Dp is more than unhappy, not so much about people coming with us in their own tents, but about the way it's all been done and people wanting to stay in our tent.

The only thing I have done is offer Dp's old tent that he got ages ago for them to sleep in, I doubt very much it is waterproof though. B didn't seem that enthusiastic.

Am I an old fart? They all seem so excited! They're planning meals together, boozing till small hours, A was bragging about the fact that they get told off in every campsite they go for making too much noise, whereas I wanted relaxation and nature walks.

Help!
PS: Everything is paid for, so I can't tell them to fuck off. I need coping strategies please!

OMG, how rude of them. I would just say no, it's your holiday and that you want to spend some quality 'family' time together. If they dont understand then they are not really friends anyway. But if you dont want any confrontations then I would lie, make some excuse and find some other campsite, far, far away!

It's all paid for already, Livvylouis!

You could say that there will be no room in the tent - dont apologise, dont explain. That only gives wriggle room to B to negotiate.

Your baby will be getting you up early anyway so take advantage, get up early and go out. Just say 'bye' to your late night chums who will be wanting to sleep in. The wonderful thing about babies is that they are the perfect excuse for doing anything you like.

You could phone the campsite and tell them you dont want to be next to be on the pitch next to your friend as she is a light sleeper and you are worried that your baby will disturb her. Neglect to mention this to your friend.

Ear plugs are also a good idea.

I hope you have a great time.

Oh dear. Well unless they are likley to take the hint then sounds like u may be stuck with them. Maybe you could move pitch, just say thay your baby is a light sleeper and you would like to be in a quieter area of the camp??? Worth a try.
Good luck.

Inviting themselves along is bad enough....but inviting themselves to stay in your tent!!??

You've got to just say something like "okay, you join us on our holiday - but you're going to have to sort out your own tent"
Really, you can get such cheap tents now from Tesco/Argos etc

Paisleyleaf, I have now offered them Dp's old tent. B said she will "talk to Dh to see what he wants to do"...How about talk to ME about what I want to do???

I would get your pitch moved and make sure you get there before B so they can't get you to move your pitch back.

I've never heard anything like this. It would be like booking a hotel room that has a spare bed and then having someone turn up to occupy that bed completely uninvited. Utter madness.

I wouldn't have offered another tent to B. As others have said tents are very cheap from Argos/Halfords etc. Can you say to B that there has been a 'misunderstanding' and you aren't able to share your tent (don't offer an explanation).

Hi tomatefarcie, it seems to me that these people don't care one bit about your feelings or they would have asked whether they could come and not just gone and booked it. Also, staying in your tent, sorry but no way!!!! All these liberties have been taken already, and you have not even gone away yet.Ask yourself what will they be like when on holiday? Can you put up with being trodden over? Simply explain, that this is your first time camping away with your family and you want it to be special. If you still feel nervous about saying NO (which IMHO you should), then say they are NOT to stay in your tent, they should buy their own, and that you like (or blame DH) your space. Or with your weak bladder (small lie) you need the other room in the tent for night wee's, etc and occasional gravy poo that you suffer with (they may turn round and say 'Oh don't worry about it', in which case you need to get tearful and do pretend embarrassment over your problem! maybe they will take the hint? Pre-empt the situation and say what a miserable git DH is in the morning and he don't mix well so a pitch next door is not really going to work! I don't think so, but you could try.
p.s. you could always be completely honest and say NO, not this time but when we go blah blah blah I will let you know .

You have not got yourself into anything. Your astonishingly presumptuous 'friends' have.

Gently but firmly put your foot down. Tell B there is no room in your tent, and that you would never have offered it yourself. Tell A that you were looking forward to lots of family time alone on your holiday, and that it will be nice to bump into them while camping but that you are asking for your pitches to be separated so you can focus on being alone for much of the time. Also tell A that it would have been polite to check with you before they offered up room IN YOUR TENT. I can't believe this actually.

Good luck!

OMG I am flabbergasted!

You absolutely have to say something. What a cheek! Some good posts here - nothing more to add.

The only thing to say is 'What a f*ing liberty!'

Phone the campsite and see if they'll let you move dates? (If you can change dates that you're off work.)

Then tell your friends your work/ DPs work has meant you've had to alter your holiday. What a shame but its actually worked out for the best as your baby is very noisy at night so at least they won't be disturbed.

Or something. You could just tell them what thereistheball said, its very good advice.

as river says, change dates, or just tell the ones who want to share your tent, that dh is not happy as he wanted to have a break with his own family and sorry but you have to respect his decision not to share.

Book another campsite and then claim sickness at the last minute. They'll go off to one campsite you can go to the other. How rude of both your friends.

I think they both meant well, thinking we're all going to have such a good time together. Like I said A thinks we are BFFs .

I cannot possibly get out of it without upsetting someone, but I told B this morning, that there wasn't enough room in the tent. i added that it would be our first night camping, that I didn't know what to expect nor whether our DCs would settle. She replied that she was sure her DD would be up all night. WTF?? And you thought it was a good idea to share OUR tent then????

So anyway, I said she could still have our old tent if she wanted it. By then she was looking like this: . Finally, she said that she wasn't sure whether she still wanted to come.

I feel like shit a bit bad but it had to be done.

As for A, I am stuck with her. Hopefully without B (if she doesn't change her mind again that is), she will behave herself.

Thanks for replying!

p.s to my previous post.
we had friends that liked to gate crash us whilst camping, watch out as these type of people generally expect to turn up with nothing more than there clothes! they usually come AFTER everything has been set up and expect a bar-b-q and a glass of wine to be ready and waiting. and yes you guessed it, they usually HAVE to leave the day before it all needs packing away. We have also got wise to people who 'pop down for the day', these type sometimes expect lunch and dinner laid on, which is difficult as preparing food for your own family can be daunting. We got round this one by saying please bring a picnic for yourselves and in the evening we have fish and chips or something . Well done for saying what you did, but in future learn off of me and toughen up to people who invite themselves. Sounds harsh, but they started it!

Milkybarsrus, I do need to toughen up. I simply don't seem to be able to say "no". I say yes to most things, then quietly curse at home or rant to Dp about people taking the piss.

Another prime example here!

TheButterflyEffect, apparently pitches are well spaced from eachother (from the uk campsites reviews) .

I will use the baby as an excuse that I can't party till dawn, don't want to get trollied every night and will say to her that I will ask to move pitch if "people" are too noisy, for the baby's sake.

Thanks for not making me feel like an old fart/spoilsport/boring etc.