Overwhelmed by the amount of weight I have to lose

[DaveTheOnion]

I started a plan with Team RH last week and so far so good. I am losing weight on it. However it has hit me the sheer amount I need to lose........6 stone, maybe a little more and I feel really overwhelmed by it.
I have tried every diet under the sun. Weight watchers, slim fast, slimming world, Cambridge etc. I lose weight then put it all back on and more. Last week when I started I was 18st 3 😭I am so disgusted with myself.

I can't imagine myself being slim. I absolutely hate the way I look at the moment and take very little care of myself. I dress like a 50+ year old when I am in my 30s and just look like a terrible frump.

I know I need to change more than just my eating habits and be nicer to myself but it is so hard. I have started out with making sure I put moisturiser on every morning and night. Then I will add something else when I know it is a reliable part of my routine. In my brain I feel like I don't deserve to look nice of have nice things because of how fat I am.

I just wondered if anyone else has gone through this and succeeded. I am so uncomfortable and dreading our summer holiday this year. I want to have energy and zest for life instead of being miserable.

Someone told me to make a vision board for when I lose the weight of the clothes I will buy and things I will be able to do when I am not so large.

Hello @DaveTheOnion, hope I didn't scare you off!

I'm going great guns - only on day 2 though! Yesterday morning's weigh-in was not fun but I lost 1.7kg overnight from day 1 into day 2 - I know it's all water but still very motivating! My starting BMI was 48.3 :-(.

I've just broken my fast for today with a reduced M&S prawn sandwich & a yoghurt - 469kcals. I'm going to have some fried rice & soy sauce when I get home. Some random food choices today, but eating mainly on the run! I'm working with a small eating window and clean fasting the rest of the time, we'll see how long I can keep it up!

At work today there was an amazing looking coffee & walnut cake (my fave). It took all my strength not to gobble it all up!

I lost a lot of weight in my 30’s basically halved my weight - I did it by breaking it down into smaller chunks of half stones , I went to weight watchers but only every few weeks and I allowed myself to eat what I wanted on a Saturday, it took 18 months but it worked for me.

Fast forward 20 years and I need to do it all again ffs

@libertyfabric absoloultly- we can keep one another motivated.

How is everyone getting on this week? I have had a really awful virus the past 3 days and I feel awful I haven't managed to hit my steps at all but I am trying to stay on track with my eating. I am another lb down this morning so hopefully it hasn't been too disastrous. I am going to try and go for a walk around the block in a mo to up my steps.
Also if you don't have a smart watch you can always download a pedometer app onto your phone and use it to count your steps.

@Watchkeys thats an interesting concept. I like it. I've made changes, I know what i need to do and this is it now so hopefully the weight will continue to drop. I just get worried what if I can't do it? What if I don't lose anything or I fall off the wagon and can't get back on. I am a massive worrier and over thinker.

@PawsAndReflection I'll have a look into it. Thanks

@toooldtobeamum thats amazing. At what point did you introduce the weight training? I still don't have masses of energy although there has been a marked improvement since i have been eating properly so I am hoping as I lose more weight my energy levels will increase and I will have the confidence to join a gym.

@mrsbyers thats encouraging that you did so well in your 30s, it helps knowing other people have managed it. I have a teenage daughter and I need to lose just a bit less than she weighs which makes me feel sick but is also quite shocking that my body is lugging around the equivalent of a teenager spread evenly across my body.

I think I am going to set some small goals and take it from there. I have lost 8lbs in total now so my next target is to get under 17stone! I think that will take a few weeks to get there.

Have you tried yoga OP? I find it really helps with my posture and makes me feel better in myself.
Try Jessamyn Stanley’s YouTube videos - she is a larger lady and focusses a lot on self confidence.

Maybe you could look into why you're a worrier and over thinker? After all, if you weren't, this would be much much easier for you, and that means that in a way, your weight isn't really the issue here. You might find that even if you woke up with the perfect body tomorrow morning, you'd then immediately find something else to worry and over think about.

Where do you think it stems from?

@Hazelnuttella thanks, I will take a look. Sounds great!

@Watchkeys I am not sure. I have suffered from Anxiety pretty much my whole adult life. Lost a parent at a young age. Was in an abusive relationship for a few years which still has lasting effects.
I went to a school where everyone was super skinny and I was a smidge overweight. I think being weighed and measured at school had a hugely negative impact on the way I viewed myself. It drew my attention to something I shouldn't have even been worried about at such a young age and made me realise I was fatter than everyone else. Since then I have been on and off diets my whole life. I have an incredibly unhealthy relationship with food and I guess a lot of it is trying to forget old bad habits and form new healthy ones.
I think the anxiety probably stems from trauma and other awful things that happened to me in my childhood- i wont write them on here as they're pretty outing but I think I look for every eventuality in a situation to protect myself and prepare for the outcome. I worry far too much what other people think of me. I have had therapy and I am a lot better than I was but the Anxiety still plays a massive part of my life and its hard to escape from it. It makes me second guess everything and its incredibly hard to relax.

I don't have loads to lose but have also found TeamRH works. The trick is to fall in love with the journey and enjoy the little steps rather than focusing on the end goal which seems insurmountable. The silver or gold awards each day should be the target and perhaps losing a certain amount by July etc. rather than the whole 6 stone. It probably took years for you to gain the weight so you can't expect it to come off overnight. I'm enjoying the plan and have become obsessive about the steps, although my off days mean I'm losing slowly and I need to start doing the weights. I also needed the straight talking from Richie and logging everything definitely works.

Hi there, just a message of support and to motivate you. I’m 31, Last October I was 16 stone. I’m now under 13 stone from 1300 cals a day and running/weight training five times a week. It can be done, and quicker than you think! Good luck xx

I am overweight due to binge eating mainly chocolate and crisps and alcohol in the evenings. Partly comfort eating, partly tiredness as I struggle with sleep and partly boredom.

I've started gardening after work and just eating my meals. I feel so much better without eating so much crap in the evenings.

For me it will have to be a lifelong change of not allowing myself to beg on the sofa every evening.

Thank you so much for all the encouragement - It really does help. I definitely need to start moving more. I spend way too much time on the sofa and have an office job so I think that needs to be my priority.

I think looking at the smaller goals is a good idea. i might make myself a little chart and each time I hit a goal I can add the next one on.

I am reporting in after a full week on track with a 3.5kg/7.5lb loss! Yay! I have been fasting during the day then a meal at night in a very short eating window and it's going brilliantly. I feel healthier and happier already.

How are you getting on @DaveTheOnion?

Oh and I've walked 5 miles already this morning and will probably walk another 1 mile or so on the school run this afternoon!

I hope you are doing ok @DaveTheOnion - it can be a tough journey! I have 50lb to lose - my main issue is that I lack the time to plan/ shop/ cook however getting back into exercise has been very uplifting for me! I've joined a local C25K group and it's great. Of course, if I could lose a few pounds then I'd be able to run quicker well I couldn't be much slower - I'm considering taking out Vitality health insurance at the moment to get the cheap(er) gym membership too!

Can I join you please?
I have 5st to lose (bmi 34.5)
I was 20st (bmi 48) & lost 9 (bmi 24)
I was then unwell. Put on 3st.
I've had 3 major bereavements in last 18m & have put on another 2st. Argh...
I have mobility problems so can't walk much. I am considering joining a gym for weight training (though my feet are shot so that may preclude that ??)

Break it down into chunks.

I wanted to lose 100lbs. That seemed impossible. Losing 10lbs ten times made it seem much more manageable.

Good luck

7 stone down. Kept it off for roughly 3-4 years now. Complete lifestyle change. Used to be fat and eat and little else. Now I workout a lot and am mindful. That’s not to say I don’t still struggle and I don’t have treats. But I do try and compromise on what I’m eating and make better choices

This is a very good book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gabriel-Method-Revolutionary-Diet-Free-Transform/dp/1582702187/ref=asc_df_1582702187/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310873579424&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2306732589344714890&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045896&hvtargid=pla-432022370622&psc=1&th=1&psc=1. Good luck OP!

What really helped me break it down was working out my target weight for each of the BMI categories and just aiming for that. So I was obese. I worked out what my weight would need to be to be 'only' overweight and kept that in mind as my target weight. Then when I got there, gave myself a new target for getting to upper end of 'normal weight'.

In between, I aimed for the next stone barrier - getting to 15stone odd, then 14 stone odd etc. Seeing a new stone bracket on the scales is a buzz!

Some fab tips on here. I am lurking as I need to lose 3 stone before having a hip replacement.

Although I wear it fairly well due to being tall, I actually have more to lose than you, OP. It is hard & I am a sugar addict, sadly 🎂

Just remember that it is not going to get worse as you're now on the right track. Gradual changes- building up your steps & exercise, more water, large & yummy salads. Don't rush. 🌺

That’s a great idea!

@Gymmum82 it really is a lifestyle change isn't it? The slimmest/ fittest families I know aren't necessarily eating less, but they are very active (enjoy bike rides/ walking/ games together) and eat healthy meals including loads of veg. I used to be like this before I got together with DP and then had the DC... DP desperately needs to lose weight (at least 6 stone!) but refuses to believe that he has to give up drinking loads/ stop eating family packs of crisps in one go/ get off his bum and do some exercise

Thank you for all the updates and messages of encouragement.
@libertyfabric thats fab sounds like you are making really good progress.
@medianewbie of course you can join. It really helps I think to have people who get it as some of my friends who want to tone up and lose a few lbs have been inadvertently quite patronising and I know they mean well but its patronising and frustrating.

I had a couple of rocky weeks with a really dreadful cold, followed by a flare up in a condition I have, which meant I could only eat very bland carb based food for a week! Movement was also impacted by being ill however I tried to stay on tack as best I could and I am now 10lbs down, so thats averaging 2.5lbs a week at the mo. I am enjoying the food I am eating and tracking and logging everything has been a real eye opener. For example I was out for the day yesterday, took breakfast and lunch with me and expected to be home in time for tea. However we left later than expected, got stuck in traffic on the motorway so we decided to grab a bite to eat from the services. They had a subway so I grabbed a tuna salad thinking this would be a good option. Having since plugged it into MFP I was absolutely shocked to see the amount of fat it contained- I can only assume from the mayo in the tuna! I was absolutely gutted as I would have been better off eating KFC!!! However you live and you learn! I just put it down to experience and moved on. I the past I would have binged to try and make myself feel better.
I am out for dinner again tonight which is a bit nerve wracking as the menu looks terrible in terms of healthy eating so I am just going to make sure my breakfast and lunch are super good to balance it out.

How is everyone else getting on?