Does it ever stick?

[Vates]

I have tried calorie counting before and 100% believe that it works to lose weight but does it stick?

I am massively obese and would love to lose weight to prevent disability (i.e. stroke, etc). I am just disillusioned with the effort it takes to lose at the moment. I know I will be hungry and that is like hell to me. Food is my one comfort and good thing in my life that I look forward to (apart from seeing my Sister's dog twice a week).

People just don't have the same 'niceness' about them. Spending time with someone can never be as good as eating a chocolate bar feels for me.

Also the amount of overweight women who I have known (but talking particularly about my God Mother and Auntie here). God Mother did Slimming world and lost near 7 stone but only kept it off for under two years. And Auntie did calorie counting and exercise and kept it off for about 18 months after losing nearly 8 stone. They both just put the weight back on.

I would have to stick to and never, ever deviate from 1500 calories to shift all the weight. Even my penpal lost nearly 10 stone and put it all back on again. Literally all the stories I hear are 'got thin but then put it all back on again over a couple of years. I'm lost!

For a start, I think you would benefit from having some more non-food activities that you enjoy in your life, so maybe that’s an area that needs attention first instead of losing weight.

I think you have to accept that calorie counting only works if you continue to use it and monitor your weight to maintain, at least until healthy food habits are completely ingrained.

That is quite a change in mindset if you are used to unrestricted eating where you don’t know the energy value of your meals.

What some people do is eat lower calories such as 1,500 or so, for a set number of days a week, and then eat what they like on scheduled social occasions or treat meals. Once you get to your target weight you are meant to try it and see what the tipping point is for gaining weight.

If you see the weight go up you have to take action as soon as possible.

Or , once you’re at your target weight you gradually increase the calorie intake on all days until you eat enough to maintain and not gain.

I am currently losing weight and I am re-learning what foods and meals I can eat regularly to feel full enough and healthy at a lower calorie intake.

There seem to be a lot of new foods that weren’t around ten years ago, like quinoa etc. so it’s a good idea to try new things.

When it comes to something like chocolate, I have found it helps to substitute a healthier but somehow similar food.
I like fruit and nut milk chocolate so I have replaced that with a bar that is almost entirely made of whole nuts but has a small amount of dark chocolate in it.
It’s about 200 calories and gives me the flavours I am craving.
If you crave the texture more then maybe a reduced calorie hot chocolate or a mousse would work better for you.

I am trying to find lower calorie choices that I can live with and even enjoy for a long time, maybe forever, instead of trying to rush through the process of losing weight as a battle of will and then going back to how I ate before.

If you look at Scottish comedian Kevin Bridges he is very open about how it has taken him ten years to slowly reduce his weight to a healthy weight.

It’s about changing habits one by one. Instead of trying to stick to 1,500 calories for however many months to reach a goal, you could try 1,900 for most days and leave it open-ended.

What you could do right now instead of trying to lose weight is practice maintaining your current weight without gaining, while monitoring calories with a free app or something.
Visualize it as looking after yourself and being good to yourself by learning more about your habits.

And find new ways to treat yourself that don’t involve food!

Check out Team RH this sounds like exactly what you need.

1500 calories isn’t maintainable long term.

Thank you for the replies. And for the advice/information, snowqu33n. I think it is amazing when people lose large amounts of weight (as it has alluded me so far). I was feeling very low last night. I have only ever managed to lose the 2st/2st7lbs mark. I usually drop a dress size and feel tons better but can't keep on losing.

In the nicest way it does sound like you are lonely, and filling the void with food.

Do you work out of the house or socialise much?

It will be much easier to lose weight with other distractions

It's simply not true that you have to be hungry to have a calorie deficit. Sure, if you eat calorie dense foods you won't be able to eat much and therefore will be hungry. But if you eat foods that aren't calorie dense, you can eat loads and therefore don't need to be hungry.

I've been doing Noom recently. I've lost over a stone and am almost at my goal. The psychology that goes along with the calorie counting is aimed at ensuring a long term change to healthy living.

I know so much more about why and how I eat that I feel confident I can keep it off.

Tbf I've lost weight before and kept it off, only putting it back on when I was pregnant.

I appreciate your replies. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

'In the nicest way it does sound like you are lonely, and filling the void with food.' I definitely agree with this but am currently feeling despondent about what will fill it and can it work for life (however long I live)? After 37 years I know it can't be filled with people. I have plenty of people who love me (Sister, Best friend, other relatives, etc). But know well enough that you can't actually tell them that it is not enough. Humans are so exhausting to be around. And you're right, I don't work due to my poor mental health.

I adore my Sister's remaining dog! (Chessie died in December and I had a minor breakdown at the time, still think it sucks that he passed while certain humans exist). I have just started walking her by myself as she's safe with people and other dogs, doesn't react to them. And walking is good for both of us.

Sorry waffling on now, apologies! I am just lost at the moment, I have some desire to change and especially want to lose weight but don't feel able to action it.

I'm sorry it sounds like you're going through a really tough time. It also sounds quite overwhelming to have a target of lose X weight.

Could you start with a small change that you do for a week then add on a bit more if you managed it all week? Maybe a ten minute walk round the block every morning at the time where you might usually have a naughty snack for example, and the same in the evening? Just ten minutes or so each time to start with and see how you get on?

Thank you @ELM8. I am actually looking after my Sister's dog this weekend (Saturday until Tuesday) so think my first goal will be trying to walk her once a day. Also I don't binge when I am my Sister's house despite being alone.

It is when I come home, I can easily eat 1000 -2000 calories in one night in chocolate (obviously ashamed). I definitely want to try and change that to start with. Hope you're having a good day and thank you for replying.

That's perfect timing @Vates keep us posted with how you get on!

@ELM8 I walked the dog 3 x 30 minutes walk plus walking to the local Tesco 15 minutes each way. I don't drive so walk anyway but usually just three times a week short distances (Town centre, everything within 10 minutes). I am home and walked to my local supermarket, my calf muscles were aching, lol. But it did feel good. Thanks again for the encouragement! Also no binges.

@Vates you've done the hardest bit, starting to break the bad habits.. especially well done on no binges too. And thanks for the update! Do you feel like you can keep it up? How are you feeling? Obviously a bit early to see physical changes (although aching calves are a good sign ) but hopefully your head is in a better place!!!

I was going down a slippery slope of boredom snacking (I work from home) and am on day 3 of avoiding the 11am snack window.. small steps!!!

Yes, it sticks -- but you have to get to it one step at a time.

For me that looked like this:

1. Logging all foods in My Fitness Pal. No judgement. No goal. Just logging accurately.


2. Eating only when actually physically hungry AND logging foods. No change to what I ate, only when I ate it. Bored? Not eating. Mealtime? Not unless I am actually physically feeling hunger stomach growling. Routine? Nope, not without being actually hungry. Learning to sit with the hunger is important it's hunger, I'm not short a few meals, it isn't going to kill me to wait until I can eat exactly what and how I want.


3. Eating only foods I am genuinely enjoying (only when physically hungry, and logging them accurately.) That means yes to home cooked meals, yes to my grandmother's cakes and dinners, yes to ordering exactly what I want on the menu instead of having a compromise choice and no to things that I would eat because they were food which was available.


4. Learning to enjoy "just a taste" while eating only foods I am genuinely enjoying, only when physically hungry, and logging them accurately. That meant getting comfortable with "wasting food" -- not finishing a meal, not eating the whole dessert. Focusing on whether the next bite tastes as good as the first (the 'Law of First Bites') helped me determine whether I was really enjoying what I ate.

This landed me in the region of 800-1200 calories per day, which is slightly below my basal metabolic rate (which is low due to a number of compounded medical factors.)

It was a few weeks to get there, but it is something I have sustained for well over a year. The weight came off incredibly quickly and still continues to come off, much more slowly depending on how disciplined I am, and I'm about 5 lb. out from my ideal weight now.

I didn't change what I ate. That's what made it sustainable. I didn't have to compromise on that, try to cook differently, buy anything special. I changed what I did, which was the only thing I have control over.

@ELM8 It has made me realise that I can make changes that benefit my health. So feeling more positive and going to get things sorted. Or at least try to!

My Sister re: snacking at home when working. She's a lot smaller than me but overweight and struggles the same as you when working from home. When I was calorie counting I always had a measured portion of houmous and carrot/red pepper sticks available.

I hope you're well and have had a good day.

That's great I'm sure you will be able to keep it up

You're right on measuring out snacks. I just do it out of boredom so I'm trying to fill up with water instead!

Your sisters dog sounds lucky to have you! Just a suggestion but could you get a dog if your own? Company and exercise

It does stick but it needs to he a lifestyle change first. People are overweight because of their habits.

Calorie counting, slimming word, etc are all temporary measures rather than real solutions.

Good habits like:

• Regular meals, not much snacking
• Balanced meals (have the chocolate, but not the whole bar - have some and add fruit and nuts and you get both mental and physical satisfaction)
• Daily exercise (just a 15 min walk, whatever to get some movement)
• Mindful eating - no tv or distractions, eat slowly, focus on what you're doing, enjoy the food
• Not eating out of boredom or because you feel sad or stressed
• Eating well, lots of fruit and veg, getting all of the nutrients you need while also having a treat every day

The point of weightloss is you need to lose it in a way you can imagine living forever. If you can't do slimming world forever, it's not going to stick. If you don't want to calorie count forever, it's not going to stick.

I was obsessed with food and just wanted to eat but changing my lifestyle got the weight off me.

I calorie count and I'm rarely hungry. My advice is to use a TDEE calculator to find out how much your body uses on a daily basis and then work out a calorie deficit and stick to it. I use MyFitnessPal for logging. I don't log exercise calories as that encourages more eating. I have around 1,600 calories a day and it's plenty. I also have a mid afternoon and sometimes evening snack within that allowance. There is nothing I can't eat as long as it's within the allowance so that means you're not denying yourself anything. I can also recommend Team RH. They are brilliant. Good luck.

To add, I drink 3 litres of water a day as that really helps too. My eating is heading more towards intuitive now which is what I was heading for. I don't want to be logging for the rest of my life but I do want to stay in good shape. It's worked so far.

I just make calorie counting a habit - so I don't ever go over a certain amount unless I feel like it (on hols etc - I can easily lose it by eating fewer calories at home). I used to think it would be a drag to weigh things, however once you know what 100g of yogurt looks like after weighing it so many times it's easy. I think if you make logging food a habit, it's quite easy to maintain. If you start going back to old habits you will put on weight. Once you've logged food for a while and tried to reach your protein target, your food habits will have changed . I eat about 1550 cals a day and still manage plenty of treats.