How do you motivate yourself?

[Oysterbabe]

I'm 2 stone overweight and it does make me very unhappy. I make zero effort with my appearance, what's the point? You can't polish a turd and I don't have the energy. I just look like a sack of shit all the time.
Yet it's still not enough for me to find the will to count and restrict calories. My kids are 1 and 3 and relentless. I'm still breastfeeding. My youngest usually still wakes once in the night and my eldest is a nightmare to get to bed. They're both up early and 100 miles an hour all day. I'm just so exhausted all the time that I end up picking up quick, unhealthy foods for a burst of energy and also for comfort. When I'm really tired I just think 'fuck it, I'll just be fat' but if someone manages to snap a picture of me or if I go clothes shopping I feel so miserable. I know I'm not OK with being fat really.

If you've struggled in the past but have managed to find the motivation, what was the thing that finally made it click?

Try not to worry too much - tbh you've got a lot going on in your life that keeps you busy, I'm not surprised you haven't got the motivation to grill fish or steam kale. I think for now, concentrate on not putting weight on, until you have a little more time. Try to minimise the amount of chocolate n stuff in the house and buy snacks for the kids that you don't like much. Get some rice cakes (or ryvita or water biscuits or something) so you can reach out for something when you get the munchies and if you can, drink some water before you snack.
Get some bigger clothes so you can feel comfortable in what you're wearing and start the serious weight loss when you're not breastfeeding and when DC1 starts nursery and you get a chance to clear your head. And try to forgive yourself for not being superwoman! None of us are. You're still a worthwhile, valuable person doing the best you can with tiny kids and no sleep - you'll get there in the end

Setting a 2 stone target is hard. I set mini goals.

Eg to be under XX stone by dd1s birthday (end feb)

Then, be under xx by my birthday (end March)

Plan filling meals and 1 snack max. Drink lots of water.

Two things:

• a few pounds in, the motivation balance totally shifts for me. I go from 'fuckit, I'm rubbish and ugly and tired and I want chocolate' to seeing the difference and feeling motivated not to fuck it up iyswim

• I find adding things in much easier, in terms of effort and motivation, than putting things off limits. So for the first couple of weeks, I meal-plan around basically lots of vegetables and lentils and don't worry too much about also reaching for chocolate. I think it's both physical and psychological that my desire for too much sugary crap reduces after a while of this.

16:8 also always works for me in a way which is fairly simple and not too disruptive for family life.

Instead of getting cross with yourself every time you give up and eat a biscuit, pat yourself on the back for every positive choice you make (however small, you've got to start somewhere). Start noticing, and praising yourself, every time you choose an apple instead or drink water before a meal or go for a short walk.

And the biscuits (or whatever) are sometimes going to happen!! You've got two kids and it's exhausting and you're feeling low. You need to stop being so angry with yourself.

This was basically what my GP said to me, and it helped me to change my mindset and feel more positive about it all.

You need a lifestyle change that you can stick to.

So:

Slimming World
Weight watchers
16:8
Low carb
MFP counting
Paleo

Etc etc.

No point trying low carbing if you love pasta and bread for example.

When you have a minute to yourself, could you make a list of healthy snacks you can prepare, so when you need something, instead of reaching for a chocolate bar, grab something you’ve made. Cucumber sticks and carrot sticks with hummous? Don’t buy lots of junk, I find if it’s in the house, I’ll eat and eat. Buy lots of fruit.

I started by not worrying what late, as long as it came in my calorie goal.

When I started seeing changes it motivated me to want make changes. So instead if bacon, an egg and sausages for breakfast, I cut out the sausages and had an extra egg.

I made a commitment to stick to 1200 cal and put it in mfp, before I ate it. When you can see how many calories something is and what portion of days the calories it takes, it's easier to put the rubbish down.

This thread feels like it could be me in parts.
I have no excuses for my 15lb weight gain. I am greedy in ways. I will not eat all day and if and when I do I will pick at junk. Every night ends bad with an attitude of oh theres always tomorrow!
But I can't explain how miserable I am feeling now.. The lack of control is getting to me. I feel so exhausted I pick at my sons leftovers or his treats. And then I gorge.
I am a single parent. I do it all on my own. I work around his school hours so I don't get a break or any time to myself. I am 32 and I live in leggings and oversized tops. I am not huge but I can feel and see a difference and I hate it. I would love to look feminine. I mean I do, but clothes wise I hide behind super casual tomboy sort of looks, day in day out, because I'm not confident to weer the lovely dresses etc I have.
I can't seem to get myself motivated. I know I am miserable but I still sit on my arse desperate to sleep.

Sorry to jump on this. But I really am miserable and ashamed of myself

At size 12 my brother told me I was overweight, and that was my click moment. Ironically, he’s still overweight and I’m size 6-8.

I have to be careful. At 16 I was told at college I had chunky thighs. My life because obsessed with weigh loss and starvation and exercise. I was a size 4, under 7 stone, periods stopped, hair falling out, skin white as a sheet. At 18 the only thing that forced me to change was a Dr telling me if I continued I could make myself infertile. That set off my gorging and binge eating which has never really stopped.
Before my child I was again obsessed with the gym. 11stone but a lean size 6. I loved it so it's not the number on the scales so much for me. It's how I feel about myself.
Since my boy I havent found the time to exercise. I am so tired all the times I overfeed myself on crap in one go as I tell myself you've not eaten all day.
I don't want to become obsessed again. I want to have a healthy relationship with food and be an example for my child.
I know for a daft if someone said to my again ooooooh your looking big or something like that, it would send my back to a bad place again where I don't want to go

OP you are not alone, I think a lot of us feel this way. I beat myself up for lacking motivation, but I'm trying baby steps. If you ever get time to yourself, spend it doing something for you. I know I'm guilty of "just doing some tidying" or doing chores but they will always be there and they can usually wait. Make self care a priority - focus on developing your happiness, and try not to link it to your weight (easier said than done I know!). For example, I've found some 15 minute yoga videos on YouTube so on my lunch break I do some stretches. Nothing too crazy or wild, but just taking some time for self reflection.

I haven't really figured out how to not snack. I am responsible for the food shop and I do buy healthy snacks, but somehow there is always chocolate in the house

NGC2017 I feel so sorry for you and I do sympathize. I was overweight at college and people were often spiteful about it. I became obsessed with calorie counting. All I achieved was making myself miserable and actually put on weight even though I was eating less. Some kind of weird stress reaction? I would give you the same advice to be honest - a bit of self love. Maybe you can do some exercise involving your son, make it fun? I have found dancing to cbeebies with DD good for my spirit, and hopefully I can some exercise too

Eat properly. 3 meals a day. If you don't you will be tired and that makes you eat crap.

Keep a pair of shorts hanging on the outside of the wardrobe that are a bit snug. Try them on every morning.

I feel just the same and I don't even have little children anymore. I'm 5 foot 6 inches and exactly 12 stone, and I'm sick to death of being at least 1.5 stone overweight and most of my clothes being snug. I have also acquired some back fat which I've never had before, lovely!

Basically, I am greedy for anything sweet and my body is now middle aged so isn't burning the calories as efficiently anymore.

I had a good result doing Michael Mosley's 800 Fast recently and lost 9lbs in 2 weeks and felt so much better. I just need to do that again but I start every morning with good intentions and then ruin it all in the evening.

Honestly dont be so hard on yourself. Maybe r pick something you know is on of your problems so for me it would be snacking , so when I'm being 'good' I only snack on fruit or carrots ect basically whole food instead of crisps. Change one thing at a time and it wont feel so hard.