In a complete downward spiral with my eating habits.

[Mammanat222]

There didn't seem an appropriate sub-forum for this so forgive me putting it here.

I am on MFP and I am a once successful calorie counter but at the moment I am lost.

I am so freaking unhappy with myself and it's pushed me into a negative spiral of over-eating.

I am not talking serious eating disorder or anything like that but I am talking about not having the will power and motivation to actually do what I need to do. Everyday I go to bed and in my head I plan how I am going to improve my habits and then I wake up and all I want to do it eat.

I am about a stone above my healthy BMI and 2 stone over my "ideal" weight so not massively obese but I feel grotesque.

Normally this is enough to spur me on on but I find myself using food as a comfort, and a reward and a crutch.

I work FT, I have a 17 month old - it's a wonder I actually get time to over-eat.

I lost 3st in 2006, gained some back and then lost 20lbs in 2011. I was a lovely size 8/10 at my booking appointment in 2012.

I gained a massive amount when pregnant and have never got my groove back since having DS.

Sorry for the whiney, self indulgent post and I hate to be no negative - especially when so many ladies are doing amazingly well with their losses.

I know I have it in me, I have done it before (I am also an ex smoker - 3 years "clean")

My OH is great with me, I know he doesn't like bigger women but he never criticises or makes negative comments.

I just feel like I need that eureka moment? It will happen right?

Hello Mammanat, I can identify with everything you've written. Actually, I think you've just had your eureka moment, by admitting how you feel, and by writing it down.

In many ways, it's easier to give up alcohol, tobacco and recreational drugs, as you can go completely "no contact", but obviously you can't do that with food.

Are you able to spare 15 minutes a day, to record on MFP what you've eaten that day? And plan your food for the next day? I find taking that level of control quite "comforting".

Your OH sounds lovely, so could he help you with this, perhaps?

Thanks for the reply!

I am a MFP regular and I use the food diary to plan in advance.. maybe using it to log what I have been actually eating will be a good shock tactic? I'll have to make my diary private as I am far too ashamed of the crap I eat.

I have kind of written off this weekend - which isn't the right attitude - but I know I need to be realistic.

We go away in 8 weeks and I am hoping to shift half a stone! Which is a shame as I lost half a stone earlier on in the year and have gained it all back recently... so I am still going only "break even" as such.

I refuse to buy any new clothes until I am at least a 12. I am currently buying all my (14 and even 16) holiday clothes on ebay!

Gah, I hate having all this angst and stress about food.

Yes, it's a good idea to record what you are actually eating at the moment. It'll help you decide what to modify from Tuesday breakfast onwards

Half a stone in 8 weeks sounds a very realistic target - you can do it Mamma !

I think that a lot of people have those moments where it just does not seem as though they are going to make it through to what they want – but I think the most important factor here is that you realize it. You just have to ask yourself, what are you going to do next? I hope for the best :)

I feel your pain! I had lost 3 st after having my 2. I've put on 1 st and most of that in last 6 months. I've 9 wks to try shift.most of it. I'm using MFP too again since yesterday (mrsfreckles). It does work with peseverance! Good luck!