What can be done about bullying in year 10?

[MrsSnape]

My sister has been bullied persistantly throughout her school life. She is basically a prime target for bullies...overweight, red hair, suspected aspergers syndrome, terrible personal hygiene...you name it.

We have been in to the school so many times I can't even give you a number. We get told "we will move her out of the classes where the bullies are" or "we will make sure something is done".

Things quieten down for a few weeks and then it starts up again.

We have a woman from 'education authority' involved but again, nothing ever seems to get done. We get plenty of "aww, bless her...how terrible" comments but that doesn't exactly help.

Today she came home crying saying that two girls have been picking on her since friday. They are throwing paper balls at her in class, laughing at her, calling her "sweaty fanny" and apparantly they tried to shove a ruler up her backside.

All I get off my mum is "I can't cope with it all" it sounds awful but she is quite self centered about it and seems to think it affects her more than my sister.

I said "make an apointment to see the school tomorow" so she replied "but that means I'll have to stay in all day" She cries down the phone telling me what is happening but seems to think more or visiting family than sorting it out, saying she gets depressed if she stays in.

What can be done about bullying in year 10? these are 15 year old kids.

i really feel for your sister....i have a dd in yr 10 and it can suck!
But, with all the best intentions, can i ask wy her hygiene is terrible? perhaps her self-esteem would return a little if she took care of her cleanliness and she may not get 'noticed' so much by the bullies.

i actually accompanied the police into school with my dd once, so i do know how bad it can get!

There are two issues: the bullies and the bullied.

You are aware that your sister is a prime target for bullies. How can you help her defend herself? Removing the bullies at school now isn't going to solve her fundamental problem, which is that your sister is poorly socially inserted.

It is very sad, but your sister really needs more help. How is she going to earn a living in later life if she is such an obvious victim?

head teachers should kick bullies butts in so hard they will cry!!!

I am sorry to read about your sister Mrs Snape and in my experience, most of the strategies for dealing with the school are the same no matter what the age of the youngsters involved.

The school has a duty of care towards your sister and they are legally bound to provide a safe environment for her. The fact that you yourself say that there are things to do with your sister that makes her a target, does not excuse the school's failure towards your sister.

When my own daughter was bullied I found Kidscape of enormous help. One of the best pieces of advice they gave me was to start a diary and keep a note of exactly what happened and when. It is amazing how I was able to use this to log everything and then use it to establish the frequency of the incidents. I have written an article about what we went through and what we learned about how to handle the situation - it may help you and you can find it HERE.

As far as your Mum is concerned maybe she feels powerless to do anything? It is amazing how in this day and age so many parents still find it hard to tackle a school head on when they have a problem. If you could persuade her to call the Kidscape free helpline then maybe they will be able to give her the confidence to want to tackle the problem.

Sounds awful. I am a school health advisor (school nurse) and have become involved when school's don't do what they should. what does the school SENCO say? Ask the school for the contact of your school nurse, we work for the NHS not education so are impartial and should help x

i agree with bonsoiranna your sister needs to change herself because morally deficient idiots like the bullies are not going to change. its sounds like your mum is a 'victim' as well so i wouldn't expect help there because she probably just can't rather than won't.
get an action plan in place with your sister research and find out and show/teach her about positive body language such as walking with her shoulders back, head up, good eye contact i.e the opposite of the victim stance and work on her self esteem which has been badly damaged by now i suspect.
these are skills she has to learn for life not just school.

Feel very sorry for your sister; some people always find things to pick on to make them feel better about their own pathetic selves.
However, your sister needs far more help than she is currently receiving.

Has your sister ever been properly assessed by a developmental paediatrician?. These people can diagnose. If this has not happened to date then her Mum has not helped her daughter at all by being in denial. These problems do not go away.