Pre school bullying.......

[OonaghBhuna]

In some ways I feel a bit riduculous but I have had a really hard week with Dd1 who is 3.6 and she started her pre school year in September. Last week when she was having a bath out of the blue she said that two boys in her class( she also was able to name them) were calling her a baby. So I spoke with the teacher the following day and she mentioned that she had already had to address this with the class but that she obviously needed to again. She said that she would keep a close eye on things. On Monday her teacher told me that her friend seems to be adding fuel to the fire with these boys. So My DD behavior since last week has been one tantrum after another. I have given her loads of reassurance and cuddles.
My mum picked her up from school today because I had an appointment and apparently my Dds friend had bitten her in class today. My mum said that the teacher will speak with me tomorrow. My DD had the worst tantrum ever tonight over nothing so I know it has really upset her, luckily at bedtime she told me what had happened.
She is so young, I suppose I am upset myself and I worry because I was bullied at school and I really dont want this to happen to my children. She is a confident 3 year old and I dont want this to change. What should I ask or do???????

Maybe if you can have a quiet word with your dd,s friends mum and explain what has been happening, you both might be able to get it nipped in the bud.

Have just discovered that my 3 yr old, who has just started at a great new nursery, is being bullied - being told she can't play by one particular girl who is telling everyone else not play with her etc.. Its really affected her and knocked her confidence. Anyway my advice to her was to keep away from the bully and play with the nice children and to tell the bully she is not being nice. Not sure I have the bottle to go and find this girl's Mum to be honest! Its daycare 8 - 5 and you don't get much opportunity to meet the other Mums unfortunately. I will tell the teachers and see what happens. I suspect the answer is to try to consolidate the positive friendships she has made and my mission is now to try to set up some playdates and hope I don't come over too desperate! Would love to hear about anyone else experience.

Hugs aalj and OonaghBhuna. When dd was at pre-school we had to deal with some bullying due to her hairstyle. My take on this sort of thing is generally that it is good learning points. Sometimes other people are not nice. If your children can learn to cope with that, then they will be better prepared for school and life in general.

I didn't go to the other childrens' mums because I was certain that the specific rude things that were being said had been learnt from the mothers. I just avoid those ladies. The teachers had seen the behaviour and already were working on it specifically with the children concerned, and on celebrating differences with the whole class in general. This was when I spoke to them after two weeks of rude remarks.

In a more complex situation going on now basically my child and three of her friends are being horrid to each other from time to time, like squabbling siblings. We parents have got a rather delicate and sometimes tearful dialogue going on. Good luck.

Bullying? More like normal childhood behaviour which needs to be corrected as they go along!

Yes, sounds like potential bullying to me. Most pre-school children I know don't behave like that, deliberately upsetting another child in a targeted way.

I think the situation StrongestMummy outlines - 4 friends being horrid to each other from time to time sounds like normal childhood behaviour. One or several children deliberately being nasty to another is bullying.

I've just come across this ... My DS who is 3.10 was recently at a theatre experience and after the show we hung around and had something to eat etc. There were these 2 little girls who he thought he'd play with (as you do) and essentially the bigger kid (looked a year older) was v bossy to him (not a problem) but the other kid said to him things like 'i don't ever ever want to play with you again!!!!' in a v angry tone. I'd never seen my son so crushed in my life . I felt so bad for him. They'd also taunted and tried to get him to play with them and then 'last minute' turn around and 'not want to play' anymore. So he was unsurprisingly not sure what to do.

He goes to daycare 3days a week. He used to go 4 days (he's quite used to the day care nursery setting with other children). I imagine these things happen all the time but it still didn't make me feel that this was 'normal ' behaviour. I gave him lots of cuddles and told him the girl was not nice.

Regardless of what you call it, the pre school should deal with it and put a stop to it. It's so hard to see your little one being hurt. Hope you get it sorted.