Should I mention disturbing allegations about an old friend's teenage son?

[Merc123]

This isnt really bullying (for me) but it relates. Yesterday I ran across v disturbing info regarding old friend's 14yo DS and not sure how to respond to her...that I know or just ignore and wait for her to share. I hadnt been in contact in a few yrs except a brief text exchange a few mos ago, then yesterday saying "hope all is well and funny fb suggests i friend (your 21 yo DS who I lived with (them) when he was 2)" as I was randomly on fb for decorating group... before seeing these allegations (bullying is an understatement). From what I'm reading I also dont feel her and her ex's handling of the matter is appropriate . Just in shock and don't know what to do...I suppose ignore it all since we have been mostly out of touch but omg the "allegations" are horrific

Assuming that this is factually correct, of course you are right to be shocked by the act(s) and their handling.
I’m sure many people have expressed their views or changed their own behaviour to your friend since this has happened. According to what you have heard, this hasn’t had any effect.
I would leave the subject well alone; it’s up to them and any appropriate authorities.
If anything, I’d be tempted to sit quietly until the friend is able to come to you.

I hadnt been in contact in a few yrs except a brief text exchange a few moa ago

Given this information, I think you should wait for her to say something (if she does). It isn't really your business if she is not a close friend.

Yes I'm inclined to stay quiet it's just that I randomly contacted her yesterday, even saying "hope all's well the kids"...then saw this news. To clarify we are (were)v close friends...roommates for 3 yrs but have lost touch in recent yrs. I'm more shocked abt it and the apparent handling. I dontnhave kids so I guess parents do everything possible to protect their kids but if my kid was accused (it was posted on tiktok)of brutal sexual assault of a classmate (another male, w objects incl a flute)? Idk...not sure I could defend

Maybe not, but would you want to talk about it with anyone you weren't close to?

It doesn’t really matter what he has or hasn’t done, it’s not really any of your business. Personally I’d stay well out of it.

You don't know if the allegations are true, nor do you know for sure how she and her ex are handling the situation. If you haven't been in contact for a few years, you're definitely not a close friend any more. I would mind your own business 🤷‍♀️

Doesn’t matter if you feel their handling is appropriate or not, you would be massively overstepping. Your acquaintances not friends, not your place.

I suppose at this point we are just acquaintances...maybe thats me feeling like old friends die hard. I would drop everything if anyone I've ever known (particularly someone I lived with for 3 yrs) had any issue and time isnt a factor. But she is trolling fb accounts abt it, commenting oddly. Its just weird and I agree I should stay out of it but its hard when she is a very dear old friend. Not sure if I want to support or.say get offline and stop commenting on posts abt it

Honestly, from your update, I would stay well out of it. It could turn into an absolute shit show, you don’t want to be involved in that.

You’re really far removed from her and her family so it would be really weird to get involved

its giving main character energy

You have no clue what has actually happened, you are barely in touch anymore and it sounds like a nightmare, both the allegations and the way it’s being put all over SM. Stay out of it and stop making it about you. If it’s true, people need to shut up and let the police deal with it, not engage in TikTok and Facebook drama. Or bringing it to mumsnet. 🙄