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Bullying

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My neighbour bullying my child

10 replies

seamountain · 26/04/2026 01:56

I know it’s long but please read because I don’t know what else to do

So I’ve recently moved in to a cul-de-sack, my daughter is 9 and the next door neighbours daughter is 9 the girls don’t get along and we have asked them not to play together however next doors daughter and son keep continuously winding my daughter up, calling her names doing things for a reaction now when we first moved in I would bring her in for reacting to them however it seems they keep doing it for her to be brought in when next doors parents aren’t doing anything about it, the past couple of weeks have got horrendous. I won’t say my child is completely innocent because I’m not stupid I know she also causes arguments however in next doors eyes it’s all my child. Last week the son pushed my daughter over and she fell in to the door frame and banged the side of her face and she knocked on the door and told the child’s dad and his response was “I’m not interested I’m sorry but I’m not interested” and closed the door on her. Next another child on the street gave my daughter a badge I was there when the girl gave her it and later that day next doors kid said it was hers I said “okay I’ll just message the other girls mum to make sure as if not it will be another argument tomorrow that my child gave her stuff away” ended ip being next doors child and o have it back I said I wasnt trying to keep it I just didn’t want to give another child’s stuff away for another argument between the kids. That got left. The next day I see my daughter walking up the street and next doors child following her (the girl) saying stuff to her now my child is very reactive and was shouting “will you just stop and leave me alone” now I was in the garden and I heard next doors dad saying something to my child now she came in crying to my garden saying she’s sick of it and that he’s always saying stuff to her and feels like he is bullying her now he stuck his head around and said “is there a problem” I said “what do you mean” he said between these all they’re doing is argue I said “I’m sick of it myself they’re all as bad as each other but that aside I keep hearing you make comments towards her and if there’s a problem of appreciate if you didn’t speak to my child the way you are” then he huffed and puffed and carried on smoking. Today got worse with him I let my child play up the street where she usually wouldn’t be allowed to keep them apart now my child’s other friend came down the street and said “ (my child’s name) was running towards another fiend and (next doors child was running towards that child at the same time) and they’ve bumped elbows but next doors child has told her mum (my child) has smashed her. After that my kid came in saying “mum I haven’t even done anything but if she does something then I’m going to stick up for myself” he ten came out over the fence looked at my child and stated saying to her “your a liar I was just watching out the window and you weren’t anywhere near each other your a little liar” I then stepped in and said “wow hand on who are you talking to” he said “she’s telling lies I’ve just heard her telling you and I was watching and they weren’t anywhere near each other” so I said “right okay so if you was watching you’ll then know my child hasn’t touched yours that she’s now telling her mum” he then went on to call her a bully ect while she’s stood there in tears. I simply asked him “do not talk to my child like that I don’t know who you think your talking to but everything your kids have done I’ll never talk to them any way. If I give all the kids something like an ice lolly on the street I’ll still include yours and not leave them out because I’m not that person. Your calling her a bully but your children are picking at her for her to react I said my child is no angel she also causes things and gets brought in he said “well all I see is her bullying her” I said that’s a lot of shit they’re all as bad as each other besides the point don’t speak to my child that way. Later today he them started again next door said your child has my magnets so I opened the door and said “what’s the problem now” he said she’s taken the magnets my child said “I haven’t another girl gave me them” I said “okay them just give them back and if it’s the other girls she can deal with it later” she gave them back I went to close the door and I heard him making comments loudly towards my child again saying “she’s a fief stealing your stuff so I swung the door open and said “I’m sorry but she is not a fief another girl have them to her that’s not stealing I said go ask the other girls parents if she took them directly form your child that’s stealing I said I’m ducking sick of the way you’re making comments to her and indirectly about her loud enough for her to hear I said I’ve asked you nicely not to talk to my child that way but I’ve fucking had enough now you intimidate me and you don’t intimidate my child”
sorry it’s long but I’m this situation what do I do? Because I’ve had enough of how he is treating a child, my partner has had enough and is wanting to kick off but I don’t want it to end up with fighting because we have to live here I don’t really know why I’m wiring this I’m just so frustrated how he’s treating my kid and I don’t know what else to do I’ve asked nice time and time again that he doesn’t talk to her

OP posts:
BlueJayRose · 26/04/2026 02:49

If I were you, I'd sit outside and supervise my dd. I'd also get a cam or two for proof of the kids interactions. And tell your dd to avoid those kids. Your dc has twice been accused of stealing.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 26/04/2026 03:16

Girl i'd section this into paragraphs and put in aibu for traffic x

hididdlyho · 26/04/2026 06:51

I think you just have to keep encouraging her not to speak to these kids and focus on playing with the others she gets on with. It's a lesson in not everyone gets on with each other and sometimes you have to distance yourself from people who are looking for confrontation. The Dad seems like this type of person, so I would stop trying to engage with him. The kids don't need to hear their parents swearing at each other, so just go inside and shut the door when he starts trying to provoke you.

Overthebow · 26/04/2026 06:58

She’s only 9, go outside and supervise when she is out. Also tell her to stop taking things of others give them to her as it’s obviously causing issues.

ohsotired2022 · 26/04/2026 07:08

This sounds really hard.
I would be outside for a while to help things calm down.
I would say to your daughter not to take anything the other child gives her as twice now it has been a different child’s belongings. I would worry that they were given to your child to cause problems.

I would not engage with the Dad, he sounds unhinged.

and honestly, if possible, I’d move !

RareRubyRobin · 26/04/2026 07:22

At 9 years old with all this drama, I’d stop her playing out alone, make her play in the garden and tell her if she wants to play with friends they can play in your garden or she can play in theirs.

Owly11 · 26/04/2026 07:32

TLDR but you are being way too passive. Why do you leave it to your dd to stand up to the bully next door. When your daughter was pushed over and banged her face you should have been giving ndn merry hell. You need to supervise your child, back her up and stand up for her.

parietal · 26/04/2026 08:12

Let your dd invite one or two friends from further up the street to play in the back garden. Don’t let her play out front unsupervised.

NameChangeAgain48 · 26/04/2026 08:20

I wouldn't leave her to play unsupervised. If you are there they cant make up lies,bully her or do shit to her.

seamountain · 26/04/2026 08:36

I should have added when she went around to the next door neighbours about his child pushing her she actually went there first before coming to tell me because before this incident she used to knock if they’d do something but now since his behaviour change towards her she doesn’t knock at his door.

I’ve encouraged her not to take any notice of him and if he speaks to her walk straight past, however playing in the street is one of the things she enjoys the most. But this is definitely something that’s going to have to change. With the incidents when he spoke to her yesterday she was in her own garden once in the back and once in the front garden the second time I was inside with my youngest child but as soon as I heard him again I’ve come straight out to confront him. I’ve asked him multiple times to no longer speak to my child but he just isn’t taking notice, my child feels as though he is bullying her and as an adult the behaviour isn’t acceptable because I’d never speak to his children this way no matter what I’ve whitenessed them do because they’re children they’re all learning how to behave

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