Someone sent me a photo this morning of myself when I was 17. I look so young innocent and so happy. It's amazing how you can fake a smile and make it look real isn't it?
I met a guy online when I was 15. He was 17. All the usual stuff... Chatting, flirting, compliments etc. after a few months (I think) he decided to come meet me. He stayed at our house for a few days. Oh he was gorgeous. We liked the same kind of music. I was smitten.
Fast forward to a while later. He comes to visit and doesn't leave. We end up getting our own house. I'm 16 and he's 18 by this point. It was so exciting. For a while.
He was mentally abusive. From the start if I'm honest. I was young, naive and thought I was in love. Was getting attention. I was always the ugly friend so it was nice to have someone like me.
So in that photo, we were on holiday with my family and he had Insisted that we don't engage with them on the trip. They all went to a water park, we went to an animal park. They all went out for dinner together, we went somewhere else. I wasn't allowed in the pool. Nobody was to see me in my bathing suit. I was to stay in our room with him.
At home, the door was always locked. Nobody could just come in. My parents lived in the same street but when they visited, he would open the window and ask what they want instead of just letting them in. He would go mental if I squeezed toothpaste from the middle or top of the tube. He would flip if all the glasses weren't in order in the cupboard, the tins weren't all facing the same way. I got the silent treatment for all this stuff. He made an exercise regime and I was to follow it because he didn't want me ending up big like my mum (size 18)
Life was hell. This is just a few bits and bobs of what it was like. I couldn't tell anyone. My DD is 15 now and I couldn't imagine her going through something like that. It would break me. My mum had her suspicions but I couldn't admit anything. Because I'd be alone. Nobody else would have me...
I feel so bad for all these poor kids who are going through similar situations at such a young age,where they feel they can't ask for help. Some take their lives because of it, and I did think about it at the time but Im glad I didn't, or I wouldn't have my amazing hubby and kids that I have now.
This was just to share my thought. If you'd like to share yours, feel free.
Love to anyone who has had to go through any kind of abuse.