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Bullying

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Narcissistic husband

8 replies

elliehamster · 17/11/2025 19:54

I have finally realised what is causing my deep anxiety and stress. My husband is a covert narcissist and uses every opportunity to relentlessly cause panic, anxiety, frustration, anger. He constantly finds ways to get a rise out of me then he twists the truth to blame me, gaslight me etc. I am frightened of him. I am just surviving each day with stomach ache, nausea, exhaustion. I can’t sleep. It’s so covert that nothing can be proved, he acts completely normally in company. Even I didn’t see it until I read an article. I thought I was just a very anxious person but it’s all him.

How do I end this? He will escalate the awful behaviours if I try to end the marriage. I can’t leave, he will need to be the one to leave but he would get even more devious and controlling and make my life hell.

OP posts:
Didntask · 17/11/2025 19:56

Why can't you end it? Do you have any support IRL?

Pers · 17/11/2025 20:29

Now that you finally see him for who he really is, step back and watch him like a scientist observing a specimen. Creating that distance protects your peace.

in time, you’ll be able to gather the strength to leave. Get everything in order, slowly, quietly. Then when the time is right, you can just walk out of the door and never go back.

elliehamster · 18/11/2025 09:49

Really? I had resigned myself to having to live with him forever. I had a fantasy of feeding him lots of high fat foods (he is morbidly obese) to help finish him off ha ha!! Ok I shall watch his tactics and try not to fear his ways. You need nerves of steel to live with a covert narcissist.

OP posts:
OhRight7 · 18/11/2025 10:02

Your update is really weird. Walk away, rather than stew over fantasies of killing him off slowly! Life is too short to live in misery. Move on and find happiness.

elliehamster · 18/11/2025 12:17

I was joking obviously, I won’t feed him to death! I was making light of a horrid situation. Unfortunately it’s not wise to up and leave a covert narcissit. They pay you back with venom and turn your family and friends against you.

OP posts:
OhRight7 · 18/11/2025 15:39

He’s going to be evil to you whether you stay with him or not. But at least if you’re away from him, things will eventually settle. Trust me, he will lose his power over you eventually once you leave him.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 18/11/2025 15:52

Do you have children? What is your housing situation?

Bananalanacake · 19/11/2025 06:14

If he is that obese he could die of a heart attack. Does he go out to work, you could plan to leave then.

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