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Bullying

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How to handle false bullying accusations!

3 replies

Iwritesins · 29/08/2025 10:45

My son and his group of friends are good kids, they aren't perfect and have their moments like any other 11 year olds but they are nice, inclusive boys who are well liked and have never been in trouble at school. They are due to start secondary school in a couple of weeks.

The issue we are having is with the mum of one of the boys "Joe" they were at school with. He has scoliosis and his mum has spent his entire life wrapping him in cotton wool and "fighting his corner", they are rude, obnoxious and expect everyone around him to drop their plans to accommodate him. Joe is a bit of a bully himself, he constantly puts his hands on the boys, pulling them about and pushing them, often causing marks. Despite being asked to stop, he continues. His mum won't hear a word against "Joe" and refuses to believe that he is a problem.
The boys tolerate him and let him play but they really don't really like him. His mum claims its because he is disabled and has regularly accused them of disability discrimination and bullying, the fact is, the kid is not nice. This has been going on since the lads were 5/6. In hindsight we should have nipped it in the bud back then but we took the stance of "Don't rise to it , ignore it and she will move on".
If they were playing football or tag at school, she makes complaints that the boys are leaving him out as he cant join in (there are roughly 50 kids in the school year so its not as if there are no other kids he can play with - unfortunately because of his attitude and the contestant complaints from his mum no one wants to play with him).

The boys have left school now and are enjoying their summer holiday. They all have games consoles and mobile phones. They have several WhatsApp chat groups that parents monitor. Their chat consists mainly of sending each other video clips and organising trips to the park and they play various games online together. "Joe" joins in occasionally but the boys block him more often than not due to the temper tantrums when he doesn't win or get his own way. He also calls the boys by phone over and over (think 40 odd calls in the space of 5 minutes on a regular basis).

Between us mums we are constantly receiving messages from "Joes" mum accusing the boys of bullying. Last week the kids were playing a game where its last man standing and they have to kill everyone else (lovely game!). I got a message accusing my son of bullying because he killed "Joe" in the game (the whole point of the game!!) I shut it straight down and told her not to contact me again about a non issue. Blocked both her and Joe so they couldn't contact either me or my son. Whenever the boys block him he just gets another phone number and gets in touch again.

The latest incident was something stupid, "Joe" caused problems within one of the group chats and the boys were calling him out on it. He denied causing the problems but the screenshots proved it was him. His mum came in on the group chat, spoke to the boys directly and accused them of bullying and threatened to report them to the police and their new school for bullying. She sent various message to the parents to which we all told her that there was no bullying going on as we could all see the chats, the boys genuinely hadnt done anything wrong and "Joe" was, yet again, the issue.
She has threatened to speak to the police and speak to the new school.
I dont know where to go from here. I dont want my son starting a new school with threats and complaints hanging over his head when he hasn't done anything wrong. It feels like "Joes" mum has a real hate campaign going on towards our boys. Should i speak to school to pre warm them of this issue and the constant threats we have been having over summer or leave it until school get in touch if/when she does complain?
We have, yet again, blocked them both on all platforms. Its just a matter of time before they get new numbers/profiles and the cycle starts again.

It feels like harassment but I dont want to waste police time over something that is more of an ongoing annoyance.

OP posts:
Pootles34 · 29/08/2025 10:49

I think carry on as you are, for now. You can't talk to the school yet, so if she wants to call the police she can and they'll tell her to back off.

When your son starts school, I would drop an email to whoever is your point of contact, to say there's been an ongoing issue, and you're happy to discuss if they want to.

Rosybud88 · 29/08/2025 11:06

How exhausting! If none of the boys like him, they shouldn’t be forced to be friends with him.

I can’t believe the cheek of her! I personally wouldn’t be goaded - I’d tell her to go to the police or go to them yourself. She’s harassing children - does she honestly think that’s going to go well? Presumably you all have plenty of evidence. It isn’t ok for her to treat your son like this.

Going to senior school seems a good time for this cycle to break once and for all. I’m genuinely surprised that none of the parents have lost their rag with that mum before tbh.

HardworkSendHelp · 29/08/2025 11:10

I would be telling my son to stay well away from this kids at high school. But I would also say not to mention any of this to the new kids that they meet. Hopefully Joe can get fresh start and find his tribe at high school.

There is a boy in my son’s year that doesn’t seem to have any friends. My son would have tried to include him. He would end up throwing food at them at lunch, pushing the other boys and being a pain in the ass.

My son has taken this lad to one side and tried to help him get friends by advising him not to be a dick but he just won’t stop so my son is done with him.

He sat down at the table with them one day and all the boys got up and walked away. A teacher called them out on doing this and my son just said right back “ I want to eat my food that I paid for I don’t want someone taking if off my plate and throwing it at me so I am not sitting with him Sir”. Wasn’t really much the teacher could say.

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