This is really tough to admit but I am at my wits end with my daughter.
shes 12 and autistic, we’re going through an ADHD assessment too, she’s recently transitioned to high school but she’s always struggled in social settings, she’s very high functioning but has no emotional regulation at all, it’s either extremely happy or very volatile/angry. She hits me, shouts/swears at me, she runs away, she has zero respect for us at all and will blast music in her room at all hours of the day, she has no care for repercussions or consequences no matter how tough they are, she lies about EVERYTHING even minor things that she will get caught out on, she’s been suspended from school about 20 times since starting in sept 2024. She’s now going through alternative provision schooling which is a 19 week course at a provision aimed at helping children settle back in to mainstream school (she hasn’t attended her school in about 4 months). She was on the verge of getting permanently excluded before this was put in place. She has recently been given a community resolution order by the police cas she beat someone up. I have just found out this morning that she and another girl have beaten someone up again whilst I was at work yesterday. It’s all over Facebook, my DD account of the incident is that it was self defence however a man who witnessed it has said it was 2 on 1 and they beat the girl up before he had to get involved. I have reported my daughter to the police this morning because she is out of control, this behaviour is not acceptable but I just don’t know what to do with her, she has refused all forms of help I’ve managed to put into place such as counselling, finding a different school, I’ve had early intervention team involved but they had to shut it down due to non engagement, I’ve contacted social services myself, I’ve done every referral you can think of to the MH/CAHMS team. She is nasty to me, she abuses me daily both physically and mentally, she is horrific to her younger brother (5 yo DS). Mine and my partners relationship is on the verge of breakdown because of her behaviour but she just thinks we are all against her. She tells me to kill myself daily. She is angry all the time at the moment, she’s already started her periods so it’s not hormonal. I honestly don’t know what more I can do to help and support her, I feel like giving up cas I don’t know how much more of this I can take, she is pushing me to not want to be here anymore. Our lives are miserable. I’m awaiting to hear back from the police about the report I’ve made but she is going to go crazy and run away again when she finds out what I’ve done but we can’t go on like this. She is a bully through and through and it’s destroying me, I already have counselling myself due to her and I’m on 200mg anti depressants. Has anyone been through this and has come out the other side with a happy child ? Or is this just life now 😔