Hi
my DD 16 was in a large friendship group last year, my DD is a very quiet shy but a really sweet girl. 2 of the louder girls happened to have a big fall out and the group split. My DD tried her best to stay friends with everyone but generally stayed with the smaller group she was more friendly with. The other groups ringleader had a bit of an issue and was a bit miffed my DD hadn’t chosen her group but my DD continued to be friendly.
over the past year the group my DD stayed with has broken up/just fizzled into doing different things so my DD has been spending a bit of time with the other part of the group, the miffed girl has been a bit off but others are nice,
my DD thought it would be nice to do something together on last day of school so she asked a couple of the girls if they had plans, they said no, so she sent a message to the group saying would everyone like to come to mine for a bbq, we have an outdoor pool near our house so they would go there too. Most girls replied saying yes.
1 week later my DD gets a message from miffed girl saying we won’t be coming to yours as we are going camping and you can’t come. My DD was really upset. The next she said to one of the girls why didn’t u tell me about the camping when I asked if u had plans and the girl replied oh she only asked us last night. The girls are all a bit scared of the miffed girl as she’s so moody, so all bar 1 girl & another who is thinking about it are going camping now. My DD came home really upset. I was fuming and I ended up putting post on fb just saying why can’t girls be nice to each other, why can’t they just include one another and be kind. My post didn’t make any names. A few of my friend commented saying oh sorry to hear xx is having a rough time and other generally supportive messages. A friend asked what had happened and I said DD tried to plan something nice but someone ruined it for her, again naming no names.
The miffed girls mum happened to see the post a few days later and my DD has been told her mum is complaining to the school coz I’m accusing her daughter of bulling my DD. The mum has also tried to call me several times last night, we were at a family occasion so I didn’t pic up. She messaged me this morning to ask if I can call her and very very bizarrely she’s also messaged one of my friends (who commented on my post) asking what it’s all about.
maybe I should have posted on fb but it was just a general moan about kids.
can I have advice please. How should I handle this? Should I phone the mum back? what should I say? Please be kind, I’m so stressed I’ve made things worst for my DD