Is it ok to speak to bullying 11 year olds?

[canidothisor]

I think the answer is going to be no... But is it ever ok to talk to 2 11 year old girls that have been bullying your child for months and tell them to back off?
I've done the whole emailing school, school have sat down with my dd and the mean girls and tried mediation but it's just made it worse.
It's got to the point that these kids walk past our house and even make faces at myself and my husband.
Every day my daughter comes home crying and every day I email school with what's been happening.
I've even spoken to the parents as we used to be friendly but neither of them seem to care about their girls behaviour.
They go to the park over the road from our house every day after school.
Would it be really frowned upon to go over there and ask them to leave her alone? Nothing else seems to be working.

My threatened the police when l was getting bullied. It worked amazingly!

l wouldn’t talk to the girls at all. School are being crap. But it is harrsssment.

I am genuinely at the end of my tether. They are such horrible nasty girls. There's at least 5 other girls in their class that they are awful too and I'm sick of them ruling the roost and getting away with it.
Not sure what else I can do.

Go to the police. It’s harassment.

Also the school have been shit, put in a formal complaint including to governors. Then you can go to Ofsted

I'm really sorry for your DD and for you.
Nothing in the world feels more stressful than someone being deliberately mean and nasty to your child.
I've been through what you're going through.
And it makes you feel desperate for it to stop.
But I wouldn't recommend talking to these girls yourself. It will escalate everything. The girls themselves will likely just give you backchat, or sit there laughing at you. They are NOT going to say "We are sorry. We won't do it again". Because that's not how bullies behave. They are not empathetic by nature. They will tell their parents who will then get arsey with you. It will make it worse for your daughter when they taunt her and say "Telling tales to mummy are you?!?"
On all counts, my advice is do not talk to them. It will only cause greater problems and you could be accused of harassment of children.
What you should do, is go to the police and tell them everything.
Then file a complaint with Ofsted, and after you have done that, inform the governors by email that you have informed Ofsted and the police.
Then sit back and watch how fast the school intervenes.

I feel like it's not enough for harassment though. It's just stuff like they'll hide her pencil case and deny it and accuse her of pushing in the line when she hasn't. They also throw their weight around and make her move seats so they can sit together and force her to get off the playground equipment so they can go on it.
It's never physical but they do shout in her face and hide her things on a daily basis.
My dd has started sticking up for herself which I advised her to do and it's actually got worse in the last few weeks.

It's emotional abuse.
It is enough.

Did you see my post at 16:01
I think we posted at the same time.xx

Have you spoken to their parents? I would. I’d be absolutely mortified if one of my kids was accused of bullying. I don’t think you should approach them but if you do don’t do it alone they have a habit of over exaggerating and the last thing you want is a war with their parents.

Secondary or primary? If primary I would meet her every day and ask what’s happened and report it to the school there and then. My then 10 year old was having problems with some other boys hurting him and when I spoke to the school I got told ‘well if he doesn’t report it we can’t do anything.’ So for a while I made sure I asked him every day and reported it there and then. It did get better. I think school were sick of me wanting a word every night! I was always pleasant and polite but I didn’t let them get away with just brushing it under the carpet.

Last year of primary school. Yes I think I need to report it every day.

I would speak to them surely most 11 year old girls would terrified at having police involved. I would tell them very firmly that the bullying stops now or you will follow through and there will be serious consequences

I do just want to say to them that if they speak to, look at, or hide one more item of my child's stuff then the police will be called.

You will actually have to get the police involved. The parents won’t want a repeat of the police involved their homes and the girls won’t enjoy a police interview either.

I would ask the school to involve the police ( if they will)

The parents will go ballistic if you approach the children with it.

Have you spoke to the parents, message them on Facebook or anything?

I'd go full Malcolm in the middle mum on them.

Put super glue on the park seats before they arrive. Tell their parents anomously you saw them snorting gluesticks. Find out who the fancy and fuck that up for them. Get creative.

Muahahahaha.

I jest.
...maybe.

Yes I've spoken to the parents. Both girls ganged together and denied ever saying or doing anything mean so the parents completely ignored all of my concerns!

Will these girls be at the same secondary school as your dd?

Yes they will. I've already contacted secondary school to ask for them to be in different groups so fingers crossed.

Good that you have been in touch with them if that's the case. Hopefully bring little fish in a big pond will bring them down a peg or two. Some year 6 really can get far too big for their boots, over confident etc. Doesn't help now though of course.
I wouldn't speak to them directly. No good will come from it. What will you do if they mock you? I would be emailing school, daily if necessary, so there is a paper trail of what is happening.

I’d also request that they are in different bands as well as classes at secondary

Then they won’t ever be timetabled together.