Teenage son being bullied at school - help

[Kangaroo16]

Hi - my teenage son is being bullied at school. This involves members of his class making continuous derogatory comments from the back of the class, making the other members of the class laugh at him. My son is intelligent, confident and popular. I am not sure if this boils down to jealousy but its getting to the point where he does not want to go to school. A friend of his from when he was a baby appears to have turned on him too. Nothing he does is right. My son does not want us to say anything to school for fear of them finding out and making his life even worse and then everyone who plays along then isolating him. He is worried that the kids that join in laughing will all then turn on him too. My husband and I have suggested we talk to the headteacher so we are going to discuss it this evening. However, that worry that will just cause the situation to escalate is holding us back. Any suggestions on what to do? He is in year 9.

Since I posted this it has got worse. My son won't yet let me send the email. I have respected his wishes until he is ready. But the two boys who are the most tormenting keep on and on at him all day. Today they just kept repeating what he was saying and making derogatory comments about his hair. His dad and i have no idea what to do and now he doesn't want to go to school.

It’s not up to him you’re the parent

call school , send an email following the conversation and always always always mention mental health

you don’t have to be aggressive when speaking to them but if I were you I’d use a more assertive tone than the one you’re using now (please don’t take it the wrong way, I’ve been there so just my own advice )

It's clearly not going to get better unless you speak to the school. As @BrentfordForever says, you're the parent and you need to take charge. Call them, and if necessary ask for a call back from the head of year. Stay calm but don't hold anything back. Tell them what's been going on, how it's getting worse, and follow up with an email so you have it all in writing.

Take the decision out of his hands. He’s worried he won’t make the right one and it’ll get worse.

Tell the school and tell your son you have done so.
Let him know that by not starting the ball rolling to enable a change to this situation, you are risking his mental wellbeing.
That if the situation doesn’t improve significantly, and within a short space of time you will move schools.
This will teach him how to remember his needs in the future if he should find himself in a toxic work environment.
Try to improve things, and if that doesn’t work look to move somewhere else even if it means moving slightly sideways or even slightly back before you can move forward.

I agree with the others posters. You need to be proactive now and advocate on his behalf.

I all for building resilience in kids but this situation calls for parental involvement and if necessary moving schools. Don't dilly dally.

Yes you defo need to advocate for your son - work behind the scenes and speak to head of year - he doesn’t need to be involved - I’ve had to do this before and the school have been very discreet - good luck

I agree that you need to raise this with the school. They will have a lot of experience of dealing with these situations without making them worse. Nothing will change for your son until you get the ball rolling. Please call first thing tomorrow.