How to treat my daughter

[Peoplealwaysleavemespeechless]

So my daughter has had her prom dress delivered and she absolutely loves it. The problem is she has decided she no longer wants to because of the relentless bullying she has faced for the last three years.

She really wants to wear her ball gown style dress but I'm at a loss where to take her to celebrate her and her achievements that she can wear a dress like that.

I'm hoping with the power of mumsnet I can still make the night special for her, can anyone help with ideas of where to take her please?

honestly, if she's never going to really wear it out, then I'd send it back and use the money for something else to celebrate her. Perhaps buy her a new nice dress as well to wear for whatever you do that is in a more wearable style.

I had a ball style one at my prom (nearly 20 years ago), and I think I've worn it once since (at a fancy party at uni, and even then it was only because I made myself wear it to get some sort of use out of it). I remember my poor mum trying to justify buying it by saying 'perhaps you can wear it again if you go to a really nice restaurant,' and even then thinking 'no way, it's too fancy for that!'
It's a lot of money to spend on something that will only be worn once or twice, but insane to spend it if it will never be really worn at all.

If it's a ballgown style then there's not going to be anywhere really she can wear it without feeling odd and overdressed, and that's not going to lead to a celebratory vibe. I went to the opera in Prague recently in one of the big, incredibly fancy theatres, and while lots of people were dressed up very nicely, a full on ball gown style would still have looked overdressed there, so I honestly can't think of anywhere that isn't a ball-type party it would be okay to wear it too. Even the nicest restaurants I've been to I've never seen anyone wear that type of dress!

Maybe do her makeup and have some nice photos in it as she tries it on, but then send it back!

Can you afford to have some good photographs taken? Get her hair done? So she can keep the fairy tale image as a keepsake?
There's a beautiful small hotel near to me - you could definitely go somewhere like that for a posh cream tea, get dressed up (who cares if you're a bit overdressed) and take some photos in the gardens.

Might be too late to this thread- apologies.
I was relentlessly bullied in high school too, but had already bought my prom ticket as all my “friends” were going (bar one, who couldn’t afford it).
I must’ve looked at SO many dresses with my Mum, loved a lot of them, my wonderful grandmother even offered to pay to get one made for me.
Then I realised I wasn’t being a teenager insecure about her body- I knew deep down that whatever I wore I’d be bullied at the Prom.
So I gave my ticket to the friend who didnt have one, and my Grandmother agreed I didn’t need to go and get bullied in a fancy dress.
She gave me the money she had budgeted for the dress instead and my Dad took me shopping for some normal clothes I liked and WOULD wear again, then he treated me to lunch.
It was a lovely day out and I still remember what I was bought, where we ate, what we had- and the laughs- the lack of fear of bullying or being ridiculed.
It was far better, for me at least!
If she still wants to wear the beautiful gown how about she has a mini prom in a safe environment like I did? I think a lot of us enjoy the preamble (make up, hair, nails etc), maybe at home? Turn it into a pamper session! Get dolled up then have (or don’t) a nice take away/meal with some of her pals or family? Take some photos! (A lot of colleges do really cheap beauty treatments from their students these days and the majority are actually very good). A day out with her nearest and dearest getting preened and feeling great then whatever else yous might want?
Or sell the dress and gift her the money for something she will REALLY remember/enjoy? A day/trip out that she wants and feels safe to her?
I agree that there’s no harm in being overdressed somewhere, but there is harm in being bullied. She will always associate the dress (as beautiful as she is in it) with that feeling. Just a suggestion anyhow, and by the way I really feel for her, and what she’s had to deal with. Good luck!

I love the idea of a photo shoot in prk
dress - book her in for hair and makeup and a session with a photographer x or use the money to take her on a weekend City break