Is this bullying? How to deal?

[radish19]

My 5yo son enjoys playing with a girl (Du) in his class but she is friends with another girl (K) who repeatedly tells my son that he isn't their friend and can't play with them. When K was away from school for a week, Du and my son had a lot of fun playing together in and after school. Since K returned, she doesn't allow Du and my son to play together. My son misses playing with Du and feels sad. How can I handle this situation? It's my first time facing this as a parent...of course my heart hurts for my son, and I also want him to be bolder to develop resilience as these behaviours from others will only increase as he grows older. Any tips and advice will help. TIA

Hey! Ive experienced this with my DD around the same age. I've learnt that friendship dynamics at this age are really intense but also change SO rapidly. In the Long term, this likely will change and Du & K probably won't be such tight friends at some point and your son, if he still wants to, could be closer friends with Du. Literally, my daughter's friendships and alliances at school change so often I can't keep up! In the short term, I'd talk to your son about how some people can feel very possessive of their friends and might be acting in a way that is unkind towards him as they feel that he might take their friend away. Of course this isn't true and he'd never want to take someone away, but it might explain why K is behaving that way. I talk to my daughter a lot about how other people can feel insecure and although we can't see their insecurities, it can make them act in ways which are unreasonable or confusing to us. I also reinforce with her daily that often times, if people are being mean to us, it's got nothing to do with us and everything to do with them.
Could you organise some play dates for your son and Du away from school and without k? Maybe a park meet up or something so they can have some time together? It might help strengthen their friendship. And who knows - maybe Du is feeling sad about being taken away from your son too? Gosh - who'd have thought being 5 was so complicated!! Hope he's ok. X

Thank you, that's helpful...I guess it's part of growing up too...so much for young minds to figure out

May I just add that if your son repeatedly tells you that this other ‘controlling’ kid continues to upset/exclude him then I would definitely speak with his teacher so that they can keep an eye on things. It’s very difficult for a child aged 5 to become resilient if another kid is upsetting them plus the other kid needs to be made to understand she doesn’t rule the roost. Teachers can nip stuff like this in the bud.