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Bullying

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Think DD may be being bullied.

4 replies

LittleRayOfSunshine911 · 01/10/2024 00:06

Just looking for other peoples opinions really, and how to get my 6 year old to open up.

DD loved reception. Would happily do her reading at home and never had any issues getting her up on a morning and to school.

Now she’s gone up to year one she’s been refusing to get up on a morning stating she doesn’t want to go to school. At first I put it down to adjusting to a new classroom, teacher etc and thought maybe it would pass.

It hasn’t. But now she tells me that her friend who she’s been very pally with since day 1 of reception doesn’t like her playing with other people and will often tell other children “she’s my friend not yours.” I’ve explained to DD she’s allowed more than one friend, and to play with whoever she wants to play with.

She seems very loyal to her friend. But has mentioned she’ll get upset if said friend tells her she doesn’t want to be friends anymore if she plays with anyone else and will get “angry” and shout. But DD tells me in a way where she thinks this is okay.

I’ve noticed DD gets panicky if I tell her no to taking a toy in her backpack and she tells me she HAS to because this certain friend has TOLD her she HAS too.

Just recently, DD behaviour at home has been terrible which is so out of character. She’s refusing to do homework, reading and is waking up around 3am saying she can’t sleep. I know something is wrong, but she won’t open up and it’s killing me not being able to know what’s going on in her head.

Have discussed with her teacher my concerns.. to which the teacher hasn’t picked up on anything unusual. Saying she’s keen to learn, 1st to put her hand up etc. She’s settled back in to school life well and she’s a delight to teach.

Could I be overthinking this? I know kids will be kids.. But I’m unsure how to go about getting to the bottom of whatever it is I feel could be bothering her.

OP posts:
Twistybranch · 01/10/2024 00:51

Part of it is just the usual playground stuff and she’ll have to learn to widen her circle of friends.

I don’t think necessarily it’s bullying, but she may just be very stressed at the sudden friendship break up and not feel she has anyone to turn to at school.

Set up a few play dates with girls in her class and expand her group. So she has others to turn too.

Keep in touch with the teacher and ask and playground helpers if they have seen anything.

They’ve just gone back after a long summer, it’s hard for them to adjust. She’ll get there

candlewhickgreen · 01/10/2024 00:55

She needs to learn to stand up for herself and assert boundaries. Can you practice various scenarios with her and teach her ways of handling them?

Ivyy · 05/10/2024 12:41

candlewhickgreen · 01/10/2024 00:55

She needs to learn to stand up for herself and assert boundaries. Can you practice various scenarios with her and teach her ways of handling them?

This, plus widening her circle, arrange some playdates with other girls in her class she likes or mentions. I used to find the kids bday parties quite useful to see what was going on with friends and behaviour when dd was young and couldn't put feelings like this into words yet xx

Yennah · 08/10/2024 17:30

We had a similar predicament in reception. One girl wouldn’t let DD play with anyone else and would become physical if she tried to by pulling and dragging her away. Thankfully we had an amazing reception teacher who paired DD up with another girl in the class. Problem then was physical girl would then try to play with new friend and push DD out. Thankfully we are at a two form school and due to the physical bullying, DD was placed in the opposite class when they mixed for Y1.

We then encouraged play dates with other children and this year (year 2) she’s really widened her friendship group and plays with lots of different children.

As awful as it sounds, you need the school to be separating them as much as possible to enable your daughter to widen her group. We found by doing nothing the other girl was making lots of other friends, but we holding DD back from doing the same.

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