How should I approach this with school?

[Kentuckycriedfrickin]

DD (12) has been getting grief off two girls in her year. Last week they were calling her fat arse and smacking her on the backside when she walked past (she's not fat). Staff apparently dealt with it and it was all sorted.

This week they've started a rumour that she fingers herself under the table during lessons. The rumour is now all round school and DD is, very understandably, really upset about it.

How do I approach this with school? I'm really angry about it and I see it as a safeguarding issue, these children have spread a sexual rumour about DD. Not only is it horrible for her because now everyone in school has heard this rumour about her and will make assumptions, it's concerning for these children as they will have heard it somewhere. Do I push it as a safeguarding complaint? I feel like school are going to massively fob me off.

Email her head of year immediately with this.

Go to the safeguarding lead.

I've emailed and asked to hear from both the head of year and the safeguarding lead. I got an admin message to say that it's been passed on and someone will contact me tomorrow.

Mention sexualised bullying and that the slapping on the bottom was sexual assault.

You've requested someone contact you or you wrote out what happened in the first instance that has now led to the second abhorrent rumour? Because if you are ever worried school will fob you off you want everything in writing. If there is a phone call then I would absolutely follow it up in an email outlining what has been discussed. Schools usually come down on this sort of behaviour very hard especially if it is classed as escalation which I would say it is.

I had an app on my phone that recorded all phone calls so I could transcribe things for my own records. It means it is an accurate representation of what was said. I would make notes now of what you are going to say so that you don't miss anything. It is why emails are good because you can make sure you conveyed everything you need to say.

I am so sorry this is happening to your DD. I know right now it won't help but I would be telling her that there is something so good about her that in their sad little minds they are trying to take her down. Happy people do not do this.

Reading this post, as I was seeking my own answers on something, I have a 5 year old who was unfortunately sexually assaulted in school by 2 boys, I don't speak of this lightly, however they took turns on 3 separate occasions to hold her down while trying to get their hands in her knickers, on the last occasion the boy quote happily tried to touch her under her skirt on the carpet in front of the teacher, who caught him.

However since this I've kept her off school (5 days!) head called me, suggested options and how they would go about it, boys still in the class etc. I sent her back to school yesterday happy with what they'd told me (we are in contact with social services also)

When she came out of school she had informed me that she was made to lay next one one of the boys during their mindfulness session, because there wasn't another space for her to go too.
I have again today kept her off school. I've emailed the head with my concerns, and had ZERO reply, how do I approach this?

Thanks in advance from a very upset and angry mummy!!

Why would you assume they will fob you off?
Report it and give them a chance to investigate and deal with the students concerned.

You will hear from the member of staff nominated to deal with it. The safeguarding lead will be notified. They will then contact you or ask the head of year to contact you. Give the school a chance to deal with what you have told them.

You need to start your own thread.

Definition of child-on-child abuse
Inappropriate behaviours between children that are abusive in nature including physicall, sexuall, or emotionallabuse, exploitationn, sexual harassmentt, all forms of bullyingg, coercive control, hazing/initiation rituals between children and young people, both on and offline (including that which is within intimate personal relationships).
Adapted from Keeping Children Safe in Educationn_
Please quote this to them.

Obviously without the links that make it look like bad spelling!

I'm new to all this Mumsnet stuff. I'm not entirely sure how too start my own thread 🫣

You should have this at the top of your screen

Found it - thank you so much. I have started a thread x