Hi.
So this is a pretty long one but I feel like I need some advice as to whether I’m
doing the right thing.
My father in law has always been quite a rude person especially with a drink in him. I’ve found it hard to tolerate him at times but more so when his rudeness turned to nastiness in the form of “humour” or what he thinks is humour.
when my husband and I got engaged he asked my husband if he only asked me to marry him because all of his friends were getting engaged. I’ve never gotten over this comment. And that was 12 years ago.
On occasion he would mock me for my weight and make cheeky comments that he could try to pass as a joke such as “watch you don’t break that” as I went to sit on outdoor furniture. There were other comments too once I recall being on holiday and having something said about my plate at the buffet. Anyway I became very self conscious about eating around him…it really did mentally effect me.
I wanted my husband to address it but he was quite reluctant at first but did eventually and it really came to nothing. No apologies. I just let it go.
However one night we came to blows and I overheard him talking about me infront of my daughter and his friends and I just lost it. I went absolutely crazy and it actually got physical where he pushed me back and I swiped at his face.
Im not saying I’m proud of how I acted however I feel like I was pushed to this reaction by years of abuse but all his family just think I am a terrible person and I have taken my husband away from his family and that my husband will regret distancing himself. I called them out for their behaviour and reluctance to deal with the situation that happened. I wanted an apology and I was never going to get one. It’s been a year now and honestly it’s been eating me up inside because they still got to see my kids and have a relationship with them but I couldn’t be a part of that. So I asked for my apology once again and I was still refused it, so I have now taken the kids away from them and refuse to allow them near my father in law.
my mother in law is welcome to visit if she wishes to do so however I do not want my toxic father in law anywhere near my children now.
My biggest issue is will this ruin me and my husband? Am I being over dramatic? I actually said to him if you still want to see them go ahead but don’t take our kids they aren’t going near him.
It annoys me how much I’ve let this effect me and I hope one day I can just not think about it and let it go.
thanks for reading!