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Bullying

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8 year old getting bullied off kids on the Street because I confronted the bullies parent.

4 replies

Raybee123 · 31/07/2024 02:19

Me and my dd moved to a small, very nice, country town a few years ago and we have always loved living here because it is safe and there are lots of kids for my dd to play with.
A few months ago, when my child was 7, she was threatened by a 13 year old girl who is from a large family in the area (everyone knows each other and is connected in some way). I went absolutely ballistic and had to deal with the whole family.. it calmed down eventually.
Since then, another of the kids from the same family who is 12 keeps being horrible to my 8 year old, swearing at her and calling her names. When she is around, she also gets all the younger kids to join in.
Yesterday she said something to my dd and my dd stuck up for herself then came home. I congratulated her for sticking up for herself and she was really proud.
She then sat on the doorstep and started drawing.
I was upstairs and could hear some of the kids shouting for her so I went to the window. I realised then that some of the kids where coming to the house, shouting her name then running off laughing.. the older kid and another kid (who is supposed to be my dd good friend) sat at the other side of the road laughing at her. The younger kid then kept coming over near the garden, shouting her name, doing a silly dance then running off laughing. (I was watching this from the upstairs window).
I didn't want to say anything to the kids because I thought I might get too mad. So today when I saw the older girls Mum, I asked nicely if I could have a quiet word. As soon as I mentioned her daughters name she went mental and tried to start fighting with me in the middle of the street, screaming that my dd is a spoilt little sh%£ and we should both move away!
I kept my cool and just said, no wonder your kids are bullying when they see their Mum act like this.. she was screaming that I had a f ING problem with her kids and I have already caused loads of problems in the past when I made an issue of the 13 year old threatening my dd!
The problem is that me and my dd are alone here when this family have always lived here and know absolutely everyone.
I feel like I have now caused alot of problems for my dd to now play out and don't know what to do.. I was so embarrassed. I did not think she was going to act like that! The neighbours had to hold her back.
My dd doesn't know anything about this yet as she stayed out last night. I wish I had never approached her but I'm also not putting up with a 12 year old taking her issues out on my 8 year old child.
I look after all the kids on the street when they're near mine and try to help them get on with each other and when my dd is mean, I talk to her about it and won't let her get away with it. I feel like we need to move away now.. I don't know what to do.
Any advice greatly welcomed! Thanks

OP posts:
Tallulahe · 31/07/2024 02:54

Well, the answer as awful as it is is 8 is incredibly young to be playing out on her own to start with. Secondly, this family sound rough as hell but they’ve shown they also stick up for their own and despite their kids being awful, they don’t care.

So your only option is to unfortunately teach your DD to be more resilient and come in when they’re being nasty or encourage play dates but stop her playing out until she’s a bit older. At the end of the day, you don’t want is escalating and it’s not fair your DD has to stay in but you don’t want a family like that “after” you.

As the child bullying is 12, if there’s any threats of physical violence or harassment you could always contact the police but again I think this will make things worse with the family.

I come with sympathy OP, when I was a child I had issues with a girl from a rough family. When my mum went to speak to the bully’s mum, she bent my mums fingers back! It eventually calmed when we were older but we still have some issues with that family now and I’m 30! 20 years later!

Thunderpants88 · 31/07/2024 02:57

Get a recording doorbell. Put a sign up and next time it happens and you want to make a point you have CCTV of the whole thing happening

AbraAbraCadabra · 31/07/2024 04:26

Tallulahe · 31/07/2024 02:54

Well, the answer as awful as it is is 8 is incredibly young to be playing out on her own to start with. Secondly, this family sound rough as hell but they’ve shown they also stick up for their own and despite their kids being awful, they don’t care.

So your only option is to unfortunately teach your DD to be more resilient and come in when they’re being nasty or encourage play dates but stop her playing out until she’s a bit older. At the end of the day, you don’t want is escalating and it’s not fair your DD has to stay in but you don’t want a family like that “after” you.

As the child bullying is 12, if there’s any threats of physical violence or harassment you could always contact the police but again I think this will make things worse with the family.

I come with sympathy OP, when I was a child I had issues with a girl from a rough family. When my mum went to speak to the bully’s mum, she bent my mums fingers back! It eventually calmed when we were older but we still have some issues with that family now and I’m 30! 20 years later!

8 is a perfectly normal age to be playing out. Don't make this about the behaviour of the child being bullied or her mother.

Tallulahe · 31/07/2024 10:57

AbraAbraCadabra · 31/07/2024 04:26

8 is a perfectly normal age to be playing out. Don't make this about the behaviour of the child being bullied or her mother.

@AbraAbraCadabra you’re wrong but you know that hun

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