To stay ,change school or home school?

[Diddykong1]

We have just been made aware that my 13 year old son has been bullied since february. He wrote a letter to tell us after a few days of pretending to be ill. He said he feels very depressed and doesn’t want to carry on. GP and school are both involved and I have sorted private counselling.
He has become so negative about school I can’t get him to even consider going back. The constant name calling, kicking and things been thrown were happening in lessons, corridors, break times and getting to the bus. He has told school who the main bullies are so they have been spoken to and classroom seating has been changed but not sure that’s going make much difference!

My dilemma is-

do we try and sit down and get him to try this school again when he is in a better frame of mind. He has friends there but because they don’t stick up for them he doesn’t want anything to do with them.

Do we try a new school? Again he won’t talk about it or consider this as an option but maybe after the initial start he will make friends

Do we take him out of school and home school him? I have found an online school, Kings inter school that does timetabled lessons.

My main worry is if he’s out of main stream school and at home he will miss out on proper socialisation and he has already isolated himself.

if anyone has been in this situation I’d love to hear about your journey and any advice.
thanks

Why would you make him go back to such a hostile environment, from what you describe it sounds terrible. It’s really great he wrote that letter to you and was able to ask for your help, I think many teens would not. You must have a good relationship and strong trust.

Given his age I think you need to be guided by him. I would suggest he doesn’t go back to school this term and you look for a transfer. He needs time and support to recover.

Wow that school sounds wonderful. Why haven't they expelled the atudenta involved and make an example of them?

Home schooling is not bad. We will be home schooling or DS and other DC.
The social aspect is easy let him do what he loves. Football? Tennis? Swimming? Fencing? Stamp collecting? Whatever it is let him join a group with like minded people doesnt matter the age. In fact socialising with different age groups is great for real life learning.
What about Forest school? Such a popular thing and growing rapidly.

There is so much support amd groups and outside learning for kids these days. Homeschooling is much much easier then before.

I think it depends entirely on how supportive his current school are. If they’re genuinely trying to help him back in (and there are appropriate consequences for perpetrators) I would work with them. If your relationship with the school has broken down however, I’d consider a new school or home ed. Some schools deal with this kind of thing exceptionally well. Others don’t.

In regards to socialising: being involved in activities that he is interested in, can form friendships with likeminded people could be very positive for his social development.

On the other hand remaining in a toxic environment and being bullied, abused and assaulted would have very negative impacts on his social development.

Does Kings inter school organise events for their online students to meet?

Hi OP, can I ask how you are getting on? Did you opt for home education?

I'm now in exactly the same situation with my 13yo.