How to tell the difference, kids being kids or………

[confusedallday]

Hi,
My DS is 7. He’s admittedly sensitive but does/can defend and stick up for himself.

He has a group of school friends that he is slowly distancing himself from (his doing) but two of the kids say mean things at times like he too slow at running, he doesn’t like football cause he’s not in a team and that he’s not as smart as some other kids.

He stands up for himself and has made a new group of friends, who seem lovely. For some reason he keeps going back to old group on and off 🤦🏼‍♀️ when he does, he ends up upset.

is this bullying or just kids being mean kids? It doesn’t happen a lot maybe once every other month.
Full disclosure I was bullied in High School and I feel it does colour my judgement a bit.

should I be notifying the teacher?

thank you,
a worried mum.

Kids being mean kids and saying things that are nasty enough to upset someone is bullying. There is no getting away from it.

Perhaps you need to explain to your ds that he does not have to play with people who are unkind, and there is no point in keeping on trying to be friends with them in the hope that they will be nicer to him.

No one has the right to go through life and never be offended, always be spoken to positively and never face criticism.

"two of the kids say mean things at times like he too slow at running, he doesn’t like football cause he’s not in a team and that he’s not as smart as some other kids."

I would not call this bullying.

Some educational conversations by the teacher around tact and kindness may help ("Little Jonny might be slow at running but that might make him feel bad to say that" or "Little Jonny is really good at XYZ though" etc). But thst wouldn't be around bullying, from what you've said here, but learning and growth.

Also some conversations at home with your son around wise choices in friendships, resilience, accepting you cant change the behaviour of others only your responce to it, and so having a narrative to confidently respond to such comments.

Thankyou, these replies have given me something to think about.