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Teen social exclusion

9 replies

C1nders · 26/04/2024 23:07

My son has been excluded socially locally by his male peers. It has slowly spread to school. Not much overt evidence to date but today he overheard boys talking about him horribly. Planning to exclude him from a big important end of year event. He phoned me to collect him from school. Too many incidents.

of course he says not to tell school. There’s one horrible egotistical toxic macho type swaggering kid I’ve not trusted for years. I’m sure is the ringleader.

my son is very good looking, a hit with girls, clever and sporty but quite introverted. Very emotionally mature. Bit different. Ahead in maturity by years.

what’s your experience? Thanks!

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 26/04/2024 23:47

Where is he going for 6th form? I'm assuming it's end of Year 11? I would consider moving him away from that toxic behaviour tbh. It's probably a girl likes him & ring leader doesn't want him there. I don't know there is much school can do tbh.

Does he do anything outside of school?

C1nders · 27/04/2024 08:54

Hi yes they’re all going into the sixth form. He’s just going to avoid them completely. He’s handling it well. So horrible though. He’s a really lovely boy.

OP posts:
Blubell46 · 28/04/2024 07:51

@C1nders Morning, this must be hard to see as a parent. My ds is now in his first year of Uni and the advice I would give is tell him to stay away- his exams will soon start and if he can dis associate from social media that will be good too- kids can always think of away to get to you!

If can just focus on his work and make sure as a family you are strong...go for walks and if he has any friends outside school to meet up with ....that will all help!

Kids change when they get into 6th form and seem to simmer down.

Good luck for his exams.

converseandjeans · 29/04/2024 16:09

@C1nders

It sounds awful. I did change friendship group a bit in 6th form as I went into option classes & different tutor group.

Could you message school and ask them to discreetly put DS in different tutor group?

Will new students be joining? Also can he go elsewhere? It's so hard for him I imagine. It's not the best time to be making new mates - prom & long summer off won't be as much fun. Can he also look at getting part time job? I remember meeting new friends the summer after GCSE when I went to work as a waitress.

SingingSands · 29/04/2024 16:25

I actually would tell school - what if this impacts his exams? And it is bullying - the school need to know.

Poor lad - I'd hate to be a teen again, especially nowadays.

C1nders · 29/04/2024 19:32

He’s handling it really well. Good idea to talk to school about teaching groups next year. Other kids have ensured he’s not excluded from the end of year event. He’s being very resilient. Yes hopefully things may change after a long summer break.

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 30/04/2024 00:01

@C1nders

That's positive that others have not excluded him. Maybe try get him to focus on building those friendships for the moment.

AltitudeCheck · 17/01/2025 23:16

Too big a gap at that age to have a relationship. She isn't even a teenager yet. It needs to stay 'just friends' for both of their sakes.

BigSilly · 17/01/2025 23:22

Social exclusion is very difficult to tackle without making things worse, definitely when he is practically an adult. He needs to look for new friends

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