bullying school - school wont do anything as my child wont mention names - too scared

[orchidwater]

Can anyone help as my child has been bullied in school for over a year. DD didnt tell me for a long time. then wouldnt let me tell the school. i did in confidence. it got so bad for DD that DD said i could let them know. we have reported numerous incidences but DD will not say there names. the school has said they cant do anything without names although they know who these kids are from other children. but DD is the main target. its like these children are running the school. the headmaster after a dicussion said he sees DD at school and DD seems happy!!! they are speaking with DD once a week, and 'keeping an eye on things'. they said they cant do much more!!! Does anyone have anymore thoughts on what the policies are in schools. Only other option is taking DD out of school and being home schooled. my child is in year 10.

How old is a kid in year 10? Isn’t that the older kids? She needs to open her mouth and say who it is.

Agree with previous poster, they need to talk. You didn’t realise it was happening and you live with them, so if they’re not talking to the school how are they supposed to do something when they probably have 1000 kids to monitor? They can’t rely on the other kids saying ‘it’s probably them’, they need your DD to speak out. Best way to support her is to persuade her to tell.

She needs to name names.

I’d bet a pound to a penny that the school staff know exactly who the perpetrators are.

If there’s been any physical altercation, you should tell the Head that you plan to contact the Police and report it as an assault and let the Police investigate.

What are the police going to do without any names?

She needs to name names. The school can’t do anything substantial without her being transparent about what’s going on. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and the school contacted you and told you that your daughter was a bully - you’d want evidence. They can’t go on speculation and feeling. She needs to give them evidence for them to act and if they have made her that terrified then all the more reason to put an end to it and out them. If she’s Year 10 she’s got her GCSEs next year and doesn’t this hanging over her. I’d get her to write everything down if she doesn’t want to talk.

She needs to name them and give a full account. You can support her to do so. The
school cannot sanction the culprits without some evidence. Having an idea is not enough . They need to know who said and did what and when.

And the police will say to the school ‘show us your safeguarding/trail of evidence’ and they won’t have much because she won’t say who it is. Because ‘knowing’ some kids are troublesome does nothing apart from waste police time.

Thanks for the thoughts. For some of the incidences the school know their names. But the school has said that they need DD approval before they can say anything to them. DD won’t do that as DDs to scared. It’s the nature of bullying. It’s a couple of kids with the other kids following. Social media is a worry as you can’t control that after. My question though is the school knows, they know their names, they have had problems with these kids and told me who they are and still can’t ’do anything.’. Something in the system is wrong. Basically DD isn’t coping and DD will be the one to leave.

What are you hoping they can do without DD naming them?

I understand. My son was bullied and named names and is now ostracised as a ‘snitch’