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Original poster

11 year old daughter fought at school, police now involved

257 replies

Marcbearpig · 22/02/2024 20:26

Hello,

My daughter was involved in a fight at school wherein she was defending herself from a boy that was hitting her with a stick. She has retaliated and one of her peers has videoed it but obviously doesn't show her being hit with the stick.

We had a meeting with the parents and all involved were very cooperative and my daughter was aware that her actions had consequences and she was suspended from school. She returned and all was well in the world until we received a phone call from the police!!!

They want her to attend an interview, the officer has assured us it won't take long maybe 10 mins but has also stated that we have the right to have a solicitor present.

Is this normal? She's scared out of her mind over this and obviously the need for a solicitor has worried us as parents

OP posts:
Mumofoneandone · 22/02/2024 21:53

Go to the police interview with DD, explain the entire situation - just be honest. Possibly file a complaint against the other child who attacked first.
Flag up sharing of footage on SM (big nono).
Good luck

Lifestooshort71 · 22/02/2024 21:54

She fought back in self defence
No, she didn't, she retaliated. Unless there is a reliable witness to the initial attack with the stick, then reporting it to the police won't get you very far.

TrulyScrumptiousTS · 22/02/2024 21:55

Write everything down that you want to say

Re read the thread to ensure you say certain relevant important points

Write these down

TrulyScrumptiousTS · 22/02/2024 21:58

Just to put things a bit into perspective

Under common law if the boy threatened to hit your DD that's assault

He can be arrested for that (more so over 18)

It's looked at case by case

Crispynoodle · 22/02/2024 22:08

This happened to my daughter when she was 15. Her friend and her were squirting each other with cartons of drink. My daughter went to shield herself and squirt back but she ended up catching her friends nose. Said friend's mother called the police who came to take a statement. It went to the CPS and my daughter ended up with a caution. I read the statements it was a load of 'she squirted me so I squirted her' nonsense and the biggest waste of taxpayers money! Said daughter is twice the age now and married to a chief superintendent policeman's son!

OneFrenchEgg · 22/02/2024 22:15

Following the school investigation was the boy suspended or excluded? It just your daughter? If witness statements were taken (they should have been) who else agreed that your daughter was assaulted first? If anyone.
As an aside I've never known a school to give options re: a sanction (three days or exclusion?) apart from a managed move or a revision following further evidence coming to light.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 22/02/2024 22:30

Marcbearpig · 22/02/2024 20:58

Thank you. She's been painted out to be a monster (the lovely parents have shared the videos online now too) but she was just defending herself against a boy who was bigger than she

There may be legal issues with posting pics of a minor child. You might want to look into this.

LBFseBrom · 22/02/2024 22:32

The parents are out of order to be sharing the video online.

The fact that a video was shot shows there were witnesses who would have seen who started it, even if it wasn't recorded.

I do hope all goes well and that all your daughter gets is a stern talking to.

xile · 22/02/2024 22:39

@Marcbearpig I think it would be a mistake to underestimate any consequences.
A friend's daughter was a victim of horrible cyber-bullying with instant messages. There were three perpetrators, who lawyered up and intimidated the school. With the Head's encouragement, my friend changed schools and took over all of her daughter's social media.
Three weeks later, two of the three sent messages bragging about how their parents had forced her out of the school.
The lawyer's letter with printed evidence to the school and governors, copied to the parents changed behaviour, but rather too late for the victim.
Parents anxious about their children's prospects will resort to devious tactics.

Andthereyougo · 22/02/2024 22:41

Wasywasydoodah · 22/02/2024 20:43

I would report the original offence of the boy hitting her with a stick. Police can look at the cctv. Call a solicitor and ask for advice about legal aid.

This. 100%. Call police or go to station ( separately from her interview) and say you want to report an assault by child’s name on x date in x location.

And I believe police have to provide a solicitor and an appropriate adult ( either parent or official appropriate adult) has to be present. You and your dd have the right to speak to the solicitor before interview and can stop it at any time to speak with solicitor in private.

thebear1 · 22/02/2024 22:42

This thread just reads as another one where a parent can't accept their child's behaviour. There's no evidence of him attacking her but she clearly assaulted him. She kicked and hit him but apparently it was just self defence. Self defence would not need to have included both. Perhaps your daughter actually did what the video showed, but no instead there has to be an excuse. She's not going to say I beat someone for no reason as I'm a bully is she.

Nantescalling · 22/02/2024 22:47

I might have missed a but but was there CCTV throughout? If so, it doesn't matter that the initial attack isn't on the video. Surely there were witnesses? You must report the boy to the police or it looks very fishy.

Noseybookworm · 22/02/2024 23:05

Marcbearpig · 22/02/2024 20:58

Thank you. She's been painted out to be a monster (the lovely parents have shared the videos online now too) but she was just defending herself against a boy who was bigger than she

Please tell the police that the boy's parents have shared the video of your daughter online. That is so out of order! Does your daughter have witnesses who will say that the boy attacked her and she defended herself? I would take her to the voluntary interview and make sure that she gets a duty solicitor and they should make sure that you are given time to speak with the solicitor privately before the interview.

DragonFly98 · 22/02/2024 23:15

So your dd was hit with a stick where on her body was she hit. Did she kick the stick out of his hand? It doesn't read like self defence it seems like retaliation so two separate assaults.

TantalisingCantaloupe · 22/02/2024 23:17

Report the assault against her if she feels like it and has witnesses - it does seem a bit unfair she's the only one being investigated, even if it is more retaliation than defense.

Don't stress though. It will be NFA or possibly a caution at a push, so it means fuck all anyway due to her age. I had a few youth cautions and now have an enhanced DBS that is entirely clean. It won't impact her going forward as an adult at all.

Livelovebehappy · 22/02/2024 23:18

Why wasn’t there footage on the video of the attack with the stick? Were there witnesses, other than your daughter’s friends? Did the boy/his parents confirm there was a stick involved? Not saying it’s the case, but could be your daughter is lying to minimise what she did.

Livelovebehappy · 22/02/2024 23:19

thebear1 · 22/02/2024 22:42

This thread just reads as another one where a parent can't accept their child's behaviour. There's no evidence of him attacking her but she clearly assaulted him. She kicked and hit him but apparently it was just self defence. Self defence would not need to have included both. Perhaps your daughter actually did what the video showed, but no instead there has to be an excuse. She's not going to say I beat someone for no reason as I'm a bully is she.

Agree.

penjil · 22/02/2024 23:20

Crispynoodle · 22/02/2024 22:08

This happened to my daughter when she was 15. Her friend and her were squirting each other with cartons of drink. My daughter went to shield herself and squirt back but she ended up catching her friends nose. Said friend's mother called the police who came to take a statement. It went to the CPS and my daughter ended up with a caution. I read the statements it was a load of 'she squirted me so I squirted her' nonsense and the biggest waste of taxpayers money! Said daughter is twice the age now and married to a chief superintendent policeman's son!

The police got involved over 2 kids squirting cartons of drink?!?!? 🤬

penjil · 22/02/2024 23:25

TantalisingCantaloupe · 22/02/2024 23:17

Report the assault against her if she feels like it and has witnesses - it does seem a bit unfair she's the only one being investigated, even if it is more retaliation than defense.

Don't stress though. It will be NFA or possibly a caution at a push, so it means fuck all anyway due to her age. I had a few youth cautions and now have an enhanced DBS that is entirely clean. It won't impact her going forward as an adult at all.

A caution is an admission of guilt, so don't accept a caution!

If push comes to shove, you'd best going to court, because at least then you and your solicitor will have your chance to present a proper case.

Refusing a caution means they will probably end up giving it 'No further action'. Because if it was serious, they'd have sent the case straight to court in the first place!! But they don't want to waste money over petty incidents, so try to give people a caution as it's easier for the police...but not good for the person accepting it. So don't!

Never accept a caution, even if a solicitor advises it! Always choose court, as chances are it won't go that far anyway!

TheSquareMile · 22/02/2024 23:32

https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 22/02/2024 23:38

You will send a clear, very positive message to the police just by your response to their invitation

When DS was in his early teens he and a few other mates started doing graffiti (Banksy inspired). They were identified and we were all invited to the police station. The interviews took place. Then afterwards the senior officer asked to speak just to us parents.

She was short and sweet. She was going to draw a line under it. She wasn't expecting any further trouble. Our boys came from good families. She could tell because we'd all turned up to support our children. Simple as that.

Floppyelf · 23/02/2024 00:22

Marcbearpig · 22/02/2024 20:26

Hello,

My daughter was involved in a fight at school wherein she was defending herself from a boy that was hitting her with a stick. She has retaliated and one of her peers has videoed it but obviously doesn't show her being hit with the stick.

We had a meeting with the parents and all involved were very cooperative and my daughter was aware that her actions had consequences and she was suspended from school. She returned and all was well in the world until we received a phone call from the police!!!

They want her to attend an interview, the officer has assured us it won't take long maybe 10 mins but has also stated that we have the right to have a solicitor present.

Is this normal? She's scared out of her mind over this and obviously the need for a solicitor has worried us as parents

You need to fight fire with fire here. Otherwise your daughter will lose OP. They have reporter your daughter as the suspect. You need to go equally as hard and make a criminal complaint now! At the best it will make the police search out CCTV and vindicate your daughter. Was the boy bigger than her? Did he say anything to her whilst hitting her with a stick? Has he been harrasing her previously? Is he or his parents using social media to terrorise you? They are playing the system and your daughter will lose if you don’t play them right back. On your own social media you can say your peace as well. Make the police report and use that as leverage with the school.

changedagain67543 · 23/02/2024 00:29

thebear1 · 22/02/2024 22:42

This thread just reads as another one where a parent can't accept their child's behaviour. There's no evidence of him attacking her but she clearly assaulted him. She kicked and hit him but apparently it was just self defence. Self defence would not need to have included both. Perhaps your daughter actually did what the video showed, but no instead there has to be an excuse. She's not going to say I beat someone for no reason as I'm a bully is she.

Came here to say this

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 23/02/2024 00:34

Did the boy admit to hitting your DD with the stick during the interviews at school?

OssieShowman · 23/02/2024 00:36

Could you get some ‘witness statements’ from others who saw the whole attack.